IT ALL STARTED ON SET - Sadie Sink Female x female

normal

NORMAL - part 45

your POV

yesterday i kinda ignored sadie. i went home as soon as i could from filming, talked with my father about the psychiatrist he found then i went straight to bed. for the next 3 days there is a break for everyone (from filming).

i woke up around 10am, my dad woke me up with a plate of food and sat down next to me 'to watch some movie' but he just wanted to be sure about me eating my food. later he decided to drop me off at sadies because he doesnt want me to be alone but he has to go in to work. but he doesnt know i am mad at sadie.

"dad please can i just stay home i am 16"
"and mentally ill, youve had a hard week so thanks but no"
"thats not fair!" we argued as he was walking around the house getting ready to work and i was following every move of his. "pleeease."
"you are with sadie all the time this few hours wont hurt."
"but i want to be alone, sadie lied to me anyway."
he stopped and turned around. "she did?"
"she said she wont tell anyone whats up with me so i opened up and the next thing i know is that the duffers calling me."
when i finished he didnt answered just turned around and started walking again. he was in a hurry. and the next time he would wanted to answer his phone rang.

when he stopped talking with his boss i continued annoying him. "okay then i am going to millies, no can you drive me to graces?"
"y/n i have 10 minutes to take you somewhere."
"millie, let me call her."
she fortunately said yes. thank god.
my dad dropped me off at hers then.

"whats up with you and sadie?"
"nothing what do you mean?"
"well after you came back from the duffers you were sad and didnt really talked to sadie like at all and i thought you were going to hers today but you are here, i mean i am happy to see you of course, just asking you know. are you mad at her?"
i was thinking before answering 'she promised me something but then told someone' she did it for me. 'she lied to me' she lied for me.
"i am maybe not mad at sadie to be honest. we had a fight about my mental health, she promised me not to tell, i mean she said she will to my father but i asked her to not to. then she told him and the duffers."
"i am sure you hear this from everyone but," she took a deep breath. "you are very sick y/n, i am sorry, but i- i just have to look at you alright? this is why she told. when we first met i just knew something is up because you know, you are famous and everyone knows your business, i just didnt know what exactly but as time flies i noticed y/n, you cant even hide it anymore."
"you can tell whats wrong with me by looked at me?"
"you are very skinny y/n and i bearly see you eat!"
"did sadie ever told something about my mental health?"
"well yesterday night she texted me and asked me what she should do. she never mentioned what kind of illnesses you have she just asked me what should she do if you two fight over mental illness."
"but i am actually mad at her millie, i dont want help and no one respects that."
"i cant say it any prettier so, sorry for the way its going to sound but its because eating disorders are like slow ways of self harm and suicide. or its like drugs. you cant stop it but its killing you. no ones respects it because no one wants you to be gone y/n."
"i dont know what to do."
millie didnt answered, she just hugged me. "its gonna be okay."

we then changed the subject. i talked a but with her little sister ava too. then my dad picked me up.
when i arrived home i was just laying in bed and thinking. i have to talk to sadie. and i guess i have to fight with her for the 3th in a row.

i said hi to jacey than i knocked on sadies door.
"babyyyy!!"
"heey"
"why didnt you text me back?"
"and why did you told the duffers."
she looked in my eyes. "baby." yes maybe i shouldnt talk about this as soon as i close her door but its okay. "are you mad?" she sighed.
"you told."
"because i had to, i told you that i will. y/n i wont do this again. you are fucking sick, fucking about to die, do you even realize that? stop acting like its a bad thing that i want to help you!"
shes right. but. "sadie my dad wants me to go to a psychic ward and the duffers found one where i could sleep home and work. but thats still a psychic ward." i teared up. "i want to be normal sadie. then we wouldnt have to fight and i wouldnt have to worry about this."
"its not your fault okay? you are normal." she looked at me but i just teared up. "you are not crazy y/n. but maybe a psychic ward would help you."
"i really feel like i am getting crazy."
"you are not and i am sorry baby. i am really am but i promise you it will help you."
"i dont want anyone to help. i dont think anyone could."
"do you want help?" she looked at me, i was thinking before answering. "i dont know, its hard to accept but i think i do."
"why do you think that they couldnt then?"
"mrs. ella, my therapist said that no one can help me anymore. i am too sick for that or what."
"oh my god she did not."
"she is maybe right."
"so thats why you lie to her."
"sorry." i broke.
"no i am sorry! how could a therapist say such a thing."
"its okay, to be honest with you sadie, i was thinking the same." i whispered.
"that no one can save you?"
"exactly, like look at me. millie even noticed, everyone notices that i am sick just not me."
"anorexia does not want you to be skinny y/n, it wants you dead." sadie said tearing up.
"why cant this be over sadie." i started crying. "everything is so fucked up around me lately. we are fighting for 3 days straight, duffers told me that they cant work with me like this. i miss grace and pressley too, its hard to accept that my dad has someone and idk why, and i cant go to a ward. id like to believe that i am not crazy, but i still feel like i am."
"everything is going to work at out, its going to be a happy end."
"when does end-"
"dont even think about, at least 80 years later." she laughed and i laughed with her.