asylum [kai parker] editing/rewriting

Thirty-Six

(Got detention last Thursday, and my cousin was found dead Friday, and had to go to the funeral. so I'm really not in a good place right now. That's why there's a late update)

S I M O N E

Labels. They're useless. It's some way of classifying an animal, or person. Up until this point I've been labeled a freak. But that's no longer true.

A while back, I wouldn't believe anyone if they told me I was a sociopath. Now I'm not quite sure. It's kind of a switch.

You see, there's a small lever inside my head. It wasn't noticeable before, but I can see it now. Every day, and every time I do something bad, the leaver jerks downward ever so slowly. Then finally, it's fully switched, and I no longer have remorse.

That lever just switched. If you looked hard enough, you could've noticed the way my muscles just tensed.

My jaw is clamped shut, and my heart feels free of sadness. The guilt that should normally come when I speak to someone doesn't. Agent Cage just stands there, stabbing me in his mind.

The door to the right of me opens and Dad steps inside the room. "Agent Cage, a moment please."

Both agents file out of the room, closing the door behind them so they can chat with my father. Nick moves from the corner, grabbing my attention with the clearing of his throat. "What are you doing, Simone? What's your plan in this?"

"There isn't a plan, Nick." I enjoy the way his name seems to roll off my tongue.

"What's happened to you?" He squints, clearly confused.

"You're lucky I'm even speaking. I watched him die, and saw the scene unfold. So don't sit here asking me what happened when you happened." I spit, shaking my head in rage.

"I killed your kidnapper, Simone. The man killed multiple people, and you're telling me you didn't want me to kill him?" He tries to prove his point, which makes sense in his mind, and his mind only.

"You don't know if he's dead," My voice cracks. "You found blood. That's all. You have no idea what's really out there. Admit it."

"We found enough blood to call it. If someone, anyone, lost that much blood, they wouldn't last another five minutes. Even inside a hospital. By the time we got the search party out for the body, any animal could've dragged it away." Nick still sticks to his side, debating as if he were saving his own life.

The door opens, silencing the conversation between Nick and I. My heart is hammering in my chest just thinking about Kai. My Kai.

The things I wish I could've said to him if I had the bravery. You really don't know how much you love someone until they're gone.

The saying is used a lot, but it's true. It shows you how much you care for or miss anyone once they disappear. Even though I hated Kai for so long, and even wanted to kill him. It doesn't matter, because a fraction of me always had to know that Kai was different than the bullies at school. He has always been different. I'm not sure why I think this, but deep down I know that Kai was more.

You know how in kindergarten, you have that one person you hate to love, and love to hate? The one person that picks on you as if you were some dead carcass, then shows mercy. Kai is that person for me. He's that one kid that you don't realize you have feelings for.

Agent Cage walks in, his suit tied up back into the original position. He looks calmer, but that doesn't necessarily stop him from sending a glare in my direction. Agent Nichols doesn't look all that friendly either. His smile and good cop attitude is long gone at this point.