Wanting You

12

What the hell am I doing?

Being an idiot is what I'm doing—an idiot who is not stopping this kiss that I initiated. I don't even know why I am doing it. I am partially doing this to piss off Tori and her guy friends. The other half of me is doing this because why the hell not? Braden's a dick and man have I wanted to kiss Tori since the day I met her.

Her lips are soft and she is a damn good kisser. I can feel the kiss throughout my entire body and damn, does it feel good to be kissing her. I don't even know why I came up here and followed her in the first place. This wasn't exactly what I had planned. In all honesty, I didn't have a plan.

I feel Tori's hands against my shoulders and a light push. I step back from her but I keep her cheeks clutched in my hand. She looks up at me with her dark eyes and she seems like she is in a daze. I smirk down at her but realization crosses over her features and she gives me a nice shove. I step away from her and remove my hands from her face.

"What the hell are you doing?" she snaps at me. Her eyes are narrow as she runs her hands through her hair in a stressful way. "Oh, I am so dead."

I watch as Tori begins pacing in front of Braden's king bed. She moves back and forth in a stressful manner making me sigh.

"Tor, you should really-"

"They are going to hate me and I am going to lose all my friends," Tori breathes. I sigh taking a step forward.

"Tor," I say but she continues pacing. Just away from me this time. I sigh again and grab her arm. "Tori! It's really not that big of a deal."

Her eyes widen as she splutters out a combination of random words, "Not that big of a deal? Jacob we just made out. In Braden's room nonetheless."

"I am aware of this, yes," I tell her calmly. She shakes her head at me in annoyance.

"And you just don't care!" she yells waving her arm out of my grasp. I can't help but want to laugh. She looks cute when she is frazzled. She turns away from me allowing me to check her out subtly. I know she is still going on and on probably saying that we should never do this again and this is the end of her life.

"Are you even listening?" she snaps at me. She narrows her eyes at me, "Why are you smiling?"

"You're pretty damn cute when you are frazzled," I tell her crossing my arms over my chest. She sighs loudly and reaches out slapping my shoulder and damn does she have a mighty hand. "Damn, ow."

"Good that's what you get for not listening," she snaps crossing her own arms over her chest. I rub my shoulder and roll my eyes.

"Are you done yet?"

She moves to hit me again but I catch her wrist. I bend my knees a that I am at eye level with her.

"Nothing is going to happen. We are going to walk out of this room and we are going to act like nothing has happened," I tell her. She furrows her together and the side of her eyes crinkle. Tori looks worried, stressed, and I don't even know. It is written all over her face that she doesn't know how to handle this situation.

"They will know. My friends can be-"

"They won't know," I tell her. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She nods her head in agreement and I take a step back from her. "I am going to leave first and you can leave after or first whichever."

"Me, I definitely need to leave first, my friends probably think I am throwing up right about now," she says moving past me. I watch the back of her body as she reaches for the doorknob. She pauses and turns back to face me, "Promise me you won't tell."

I roll my eyes at her, "Who would I have to tell besides Sanders? And he practically already knows everything and I haven't even said anything yet."

I realize my mistake when Tori's eyes widen. She holds a hand to her head in stress and I tilt my head back to the ceiling. I take a deep breath and look back at her.

"Tori, go." I urge her. I make a motion with my hands and she sighs giving me a worried look. I take a step forward again, "Or we can go together."

"Fuck no, bye Jacob," she says swinging open the door. Tori disappears behind the door and closes it. I release a breath I didn't realize I was holding in.

What the fuck just happened?

I finally feel like I have both my feet on the ground again. I also finally feel like I can breathe again. At least I have someone on my side. Well, two someones. Now I just have to figure out how to win over the actual team. This is not a step in the right direction. Especially now that I have kissed Tori and in Braden's room nonetheless.

Right.

I should probably get the hell out of her before he comes up here. At least this time Tori and I wouldn't be in here together. I do feel bad about everything that is happening between us. Especially since I can tell that she is stressed about it but at the same time she wouldn't be doing this or being a friend or agreeing to be my friend if she didn't want to be. I think a small part of her wants to do it. I have also been wondering if she did it because of something Carter said.

I open the door and glance around the hallway. I see a lot of different people wandering around the hallway and a few couples making out but no one of importance and who could potentially snitch. At least I hope. I step out into the hallway and close the door behind me. I head back down the stairs and into the madness that is this party. People are dancing on tables and playing drinking games and dancing. I try and see if I can find Tori's curly hair in the crowd but with no luck. I do spot Sanders talking to a girl and I smirk. Sanders is such a nice kid I am surprised he doesn't have a girlfriend yet. Especially with the friend group they have. Everyone is dating everyone. I continue down the stairs and into the kitchen. I need to have another drink and maybe even a shot. I do not feel like dealing with the consequences of my actions.

I walk into the kitchen and grab a beer. I decide against the shot because more alcohol is the last thing I need to do. I crack open the beer and glance around the kitchen. I spot two of Tori's friends in the corner. I know one of them as Julie and the other one is a guy I have never seen before. They are animately talking with another person I don't recognize. The kitchen door opens again and Sanders walks in.

"Hey man, where have you been?" he says extending a hand to dap me up.

"Just hanging around. Never realized how big this fucking house is," I say. I bring my beer can to my lips and take a big sip. Lying to my only friend.

I really am an ass.

"Yeah, we have most of the team living here now, although last year it was only the original guys and then Braden and Jeremy," Sanders explains. I nod my head at what he is saying and take another drink from my beer.

"Do you like it?"

"Love it, even though they all annoy the shit out of me from time to time. They are still my brothers," Sanders explains. I nod my head at him. I really do wish that I had that with my teammates at Duke.

At Duke, it was more of a you do me a favor and I'll do you a favor. It has nothing to do with being friends or the family atmosphere here. I even saw it when I came to visit. My brother really is missing out on everything that could come from actually being a good guy.

"That's awesome," I say nodding my head.

"Yeah and you can be a part of that too," he offers. "If you want."

I shrug my shoulders. A part of me wants to be a part of the big friend group because I see how much they all care about each other. At the same time, why are they forcing their friend to do something she doesn't want to do? I'm torn about whether or not I should try to explain my side of the story. Braden and Jeremy don't really deserve it. They haven't shown me a reason to tell them my side of the story.

So why would I?