An Unexpected Engagement

Chapter 105

Natasha

Right. Things were getting out of hand fast. Where was I thinking it was a good idea to join a bunch of crazy middle-aged women in a firelit clearing in the middle of nowhere?

My goodness, don't they know that this is how horror movies start? Or the serial murders? Oh my God, I'll be in the papers! Some dog will find my decomposing body buried in the woods and I'll be part of the statistics! And I didn't even get my nails done! Not to mention my eyebrow that needed to be redone! I'll be a corpse with peeling nail polish and scruffy eyebrows forever!

“Mom, I think I want to go,” I whisper through the cheesy witches chanting and dancing around the campfire.

They're smoking some very suspicious stuff and what's in that glass that's passed around? I'm sure it has alcohol, because they are very happy.

"You can't go now!" We haven't even started invoking the goddess yet,” Mum scolds me and spins away like a top.

Someone pass me the chalice.

"Drink, sister!" And free your mind...

I smell the drink. There's definitely alcohol in there. Well, it shouldn't hurt to drink a little, maybe drunk I'll forget about that fiasco and even have fun.

I drink the “potion” that looks more like cheap wine and step forward. Then the suspicious little cigarette is also placed in my hands and I bring it. That's weed! Oh god, is my mom a pothead?

— Oh, Mother of all nature... listen to yourself — someone shouts.

“The time has come, sisters, get rid of worldly traits and show yourself to nature how you came into the world.

They start taking off their clothes while twirling and singing.

"Come on, daughter, join us!" My mother jumps around me, her breasts swaying in the moonlight.

My God, how do you unsee this? I think I need more of that drink and more of that suspicious little cigarette.

Giggling nervously, I strip off my clothes, trying not to look at the naked women dancing around the fire in the least bit embarrassed.

“Come on, sisters. I'm feeling the goddess... she's getting closer. Say the deepest desire of the heart..

“I wish… Tracy Morgan would stop hitting on my husband,” someone yells. "And preferably that she go bald."

“Oh please goddess hear our sister's request,” everyone chants together.

I take the cigarette that someone hands me and I bring it with pleasure.

— I want my son to give me grandchildren later this year. I want to be a young grandmother, oh goddess...

Young? That one is well over sixty years old!

I hold back the laughter. Wow. I think it's already having an effect.

— I wish my husband would give up the divorce...

Wait.

Was it my mother who said that? Or am I already high?

There's already another woman making some bizarre request, I think something about losing twenty pounds, when all of a sudden I hear a siren.

- Oh shit. It's the police! - someone shouts.

I get scared. What? What do you mean police?

"Run, sisters!" We don't want to get caught again.

- Mother? - I shout amid the horde of naked women running everywhere.

- Daughter run, run away!

- Holy crap!

I run aimlessly, getting into the forest, hallucinating.

Oh my God, what's going on? Is this how I'm going to die? Worse, what if the police find me?

Naked and with peeling nails? And where is my car again?

Suddenly I reach the highway and feel relief. My father's house is about two kilometers away? Three? I keep hearing the sirens and I keep running. If I run fast enough, I'll make it to my father's house before the cops find me.