Chapter 111

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“But the numbers aren't matching what Harvey asked for, I warned Benjamin, if you don't check and find the mistake, heads will roll.

“Yes, I charged the report, but…

I huff, stuffing a large piece of meat into my mouth.

What the fuck did Steve come up with bringing the perfect, efficient secretary to dinner with us? Now here they are, talking about work, while I'm dying of boredom. The waiter approaches and pours another glass of the delicious drink with lemon and a lot of alcohol, which they call a caipirinha and I drink it almost entirely in my throat.

'Natasha, darling, haven't you had too much to drink?' Steve finally seems to notice me and I flash him a feline smile.

"And is there anything else to do here?"

"Not enjoying the food?" I thought you were loving it...

— Yes, all these meats are great, are you sure they don't come from alligators from the Pantanal? I think they eat jaguar too...

— Of course not Natasha — Peggy laughs, like I'm an idiot — but I thought it was a great idea to come on a barbecue rodizio, Brazilians know how to eat well. If I'm not careful, I'm going to gain about three kilos on this trip... And what's that you're taking? It looks yummy. But I think you're taking too much... Isn't it alcoholic?

“Caipirinha,” I repeat and signal to the waiter. "Could you bring more of this over here, please?" — I ignore Pepper's criticism. I know how to drink. I never get drunk.

The man looks like he doesn't understand and Camila repeats my request in Portuguese.

— Okay, I ordered one more for you and one for me too, to try.

Ah, how cute. Does the perfect girl speak Portuguese too?

- Do you speak Portuguese?

- A little. I'm not fluent, but I spent a few holidays here when I was young.

“Peggy is fluent in French, German, and Spanish,” Steve remarks with almost… pride. Oh how disgusting. Big shit.

The bartender pours another glass and I down the entire drink as Steve and Peggy start talking about work again. My head feels spinning and if I see another piece of meat in front of me again I think I'm going to throw up.

Right. I think I'm going to puke anyway.

Oh wow, I'm drunk. Very. I start to laugh.

— Natasha, honey, get up — Steve is talking.

- What?

"Let's go, it's not okay..."

— I'm fine... Weren't we going to dance? Carnival...

— Leave it for tomorrow, let's go. Steve practically drags me out.

“Wow, Steve, she's in such bad shape…” Peggy says when we're in the car and… Why am I in the back seat and Peggy is in the front seat? Yes, I'm lying in the backseat with the car in motion. With great difficulty I sit down and Peggy and Steve are deep in some conversation I can't make out. Are they speaking in Portuguese? I look to the side and the beach passes by me. A guy on a bicycle is next to us. Is it the thief? I lean over and open the window.

“Hey, you son of a bitch thief, give me back my camera.

“Natasha, what are you doing, close the window,” Steve yells.

"Open the door, Steve, I'll get this guy..."

The guy on the bike is yelling at me too, I think he's calling me names? I do not understand anything! Steve accelerates the car.

“Steve, stop!” — I despair, I need to catch that guy! Without thinking, I throw my body out the window, and the movement doesn't work very well and I'm left hanging.

"Natasha, what the hell..."

Steve brakes the car. I open the door and jump out, landing on the sidewalk. But I manage to stagger to my feet and run, now there are too many cyclists and who the hell is the guy who ripped me off? When in doubt, I push the first one I see and then another and continue my sequence of Kill Bill vengeful violence until Steve pulls me away.

"Have you gone crazy?...

My head spins and I feel like I'm going to pass out.

“I just wanted to catch the thief… Why are there two of you, Steve?

Now there are a lot of people around us, they swear in a weird language. They are very angry. Oh, sorry guys...

I feel that Steve is communicating with the attacked natives and I am transferred into the soft arms of Peggy Parker. Wow, your skin is so soft, Peggy, what cream do you use?

— Natasha, calm down you're drunk, let's go to the car. ’ But before she can move me, I feel the itch in my throat and I throw up all over Peggy.

—Arg! She releases me, horrified, and I start to laugh.

— Oops! I think I ruined her dress...

And faint.

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