Spinning Tops - OhmKao

Chapter 9 ~ you're not leaving ~

Nate was worried about Thana, the guy had been in the bathroom forever but he soon heard the door opening and got up to go and see if he was ok. Thana came out of the bathroom fully dressed in his own clothes which he had left folded up in there earlier. 

They were still damp from the rain, what the hell was he thinking?

"I'm leaving Nate, I'll get a taxi back" he said when he saw Nate.

"no, we'll go together tomorrow" Nate said.

"I don't want to be here Nate, I can't do this, I need to leave" Thana said.

"we can't just ignore what happened, I still want you Thana, did you not enjoy it?"

"it's not that, I just want to go back" Thana replied.

"it is that, your scared to death! talk to me damn it" Nate scolded him.

"I don't need to talk to you Nate, let's pretend it never happened. I'm just a work colleague, that's all I can ever be" Thana said.

"really, you can say that after what we just did?"

 "please Nate, I really can't do this, I need this job, I can't be risking my job over this" Thana said.

 "risking your job? why would you be risking your job? JJ dates a rigger himself, he wouldn't care if we started dating, look, I can't say I'm sorry because I'm not, it was wonderful, I want to do more but I won't rush you. let's go to bed I promise I won't do anything to you" Nate promised.

"I feel really uncomfortable Nate, I don't want to be around you" Thana said.

 "rubbish, your just a bit embarrassed, don't worry about it. There's nothing to be embarrassed about, you were so sexy back there, so hot" 

 "Nate, please stop"

 "no, you're a grown ass man, why are you behaving as if you never came before"

Thana looked down, his face turning a deep red.

 "fuck me, for real?, you never? you've never even pleasured yourself" Nate asked.

 "for god's sake, please stop" Thana was nearly in tears now.

Nate couldn't take it any more, his own emotions were also all over the place, what they had done, his feelings for Thana, finding out that he was so innocent, that no one else has ever kissed him or touched him and made him cum.

He walked over to Thana and took him in his arms, patting him on the back like a child and Thana sobbed. Nate whispered to him telling him that everything was going to be ok.

 "come on, let me help you out of these wet clothes and let's go to bed, I promise I won't do anything to you"

 "you won't ... ?"

 " I swear" Nate said.

___

It was that night the dreams started again. 

Nate had helped Thana get changed and tucked him up in bed before throwing their clothes in he washer/dryer then he joined Thana in bed and as promised he didn't touch him, just watched him for a while to make sure he was ok. Nothing had gone as he had planned or expected this evening, even so it had been a lovely meal and the moments they had shared were moments he would never forget. 

He still found it hard to believe that someone as stunning as Thana was as pure as the driven snow and that he was the first to make him shudder and groan in his arms, just the thought made him hard again but a promise was a promise. One thing he was sure of and that was that he would be the only one because he knew he could never let Thana go.

It was around 4.30 in the morning when some strange noises woke Nate. He slowly opened his eyes and realized it was Thana who was making the weird sounds. He was talking in his sleep but Nate could not make out the garbled words. He noticed tears were rolling down his cheeks, it looked like he was having a bad dream.

Nate tried to wake him but he wouldn't wake up, instead he began to whimper then called out, mum please don't leave me, please come back to me, mum I promise ...

Nate shook him by the shoulder even harder until Thana finally woke up,

"are you ok Thana, you were having a bad dream" 

 "I'm sorry for disturbing you" Thana said.

 "I don't care about that Thana" Nate replied.

 "do you want a drink?" Nate asked.

 " no, thank you I'm ok" 

 Nate pulled Thana in to his arms and held him, Thana laying his head on Nate's chest, he was too weary to argue about it. 

 "do you want to talk about it?" Nate offered.

 "not really" Thana replied.

 "you know, I think this is part of your problem, you try to deal with everything on your own, you won't allow anyone to help you" Nate said.

 "I'm used to dealing with everything alone, I don't need anyone to help, I just need to be left alone to do my jobs" Thana said.

 "the thing is Thana, I don't think your doing so good, I think you do need help so whatever it is, please let me help you" Nate asked.

 "I've managed on my own for 16 years Nate, I assure you, I don't need your help but ... thank you"

There was that 16 years reference again Nate thought but he let it slide, for now.

 They both managed to get a little more sleep then later they went for breakfast in a small cafe before setting off back to the circus. Thana thought about going to see JJ about the bunk share but it seemed like Nate could read his mind.

 "don't even think about moving out because I'll just bring you back" he told him.

 "who the hell do you think you are, my husband?" Thana said angrily.

 " if you wanna call me that, fine! " Nate said.

 "ever since we went to the city you've changed Nate, you're acting like we are an item" Thana replied.

 "we are, you're just in denial" Nate answered .

 " you're crazy"

 "about you"

 "look, just stop it ok, or I'll walk off the job" Thana threatened him.

 "you won't, you need the money" Nate said.

 "I can do any job, it doesn't have to be in the circus"

 "I'll just bring you back with me so go ahead, I've decided I want to keep you Thana, you became mine last night, now you just need to admit it to yourself"

Thana shivered involuntarily, he should be scared by how Nate was talking but he felt kind of safe. For the first time in years he felt like he had someone looking out for him but on the other hand he couldn't get used to it because he knew by experience just how easy it was to lose someone, how your whole life could change in a moment.

It was better to stay alone then no one could hurt you when they left.

***

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