After All This Time// Sebastian Sallow x Reader Hogwarts Legacy Fanfiction

Chapter 78

After I showed Sebastian the memory in the pensieve, we went back to our respective rooms without exchanging many more words. Even though it was late and I was tired, I knew sleep would not come easy that night. Watching that memory just brought everything back up to the surface that I've been trying to shove down. Even though I was wrapped tightly under my covers I was shivering, and I couldn't shake the feelings that were welling up inside me. 

Not only was everything with Sebastian weighing down on me, there was also Charles. I was supposed to meet him this weekend, and I still wasn't sure what to do about that. I really didn't want to get anyone else involved, but I wanted to deal with his stupid threats once and for all. 

I could fight him. I could face him- but I'd be risking my life by doing so, I knew that much. But then again, when has that ever stopped me in the past? Why was I letting it stop me now? All the time I was filled with grief, hate, and sadness, and all of these things were making me entirely incapable of being who I was supposed to be. I knew I could be more and that I was more. 

With all of those thoughts swirling in my head, I eventually fell asleep, but my dreams plagued my mind once again, making any rest I got worthless.

It was time. I was going to face him.

There I stood, facing him as he stood across the lake from me. 

"Come get me if you can," he laughed, flashing his familiar sinister smile. Charles then darted off into the woods. 

My legs were entirely moving for me, and I couldn't control any of my actions. It felt like I was trapped in my mind, and my body was moving all on its own. I panicked and tried to stop it, but I trudged on towards the lake. 

I then noticed how slow I was moving, and when I looked down, I saw that my body was wrapped up in heavy chains and weighted balls. Even more panic filled me as I realized I was walking directly towards the lake. I couldn't stop myself as I waded into the water. 

Little by little, I felt the icy water travel up my body as my legs pushed me in deeper. I was up to my chest and still going, my breath becoming ragged and heavy. 

I still heard Charles calling from the woods, egging me to come and find him. I cried out as the water lapped across my face and I turned my eyes toward the sky to savor my left few moments of air before sinking below the surface. 

I woke up in a cold sweat. I looked down at my body and let out a sigh at the absence of the chains. Wiggling my toes and fingers let me know that I was still in control. 

I hated feeling like I wasn't in control- yet this entire year, that's how it's been. I haven't been able to keep bad things from happening, nor have I been able to save the ones I love from being in pain. And here I was, the mess in the middle of it all, that was somehow supposed to stop all of this. 

I hated that it felt like my responsibility, but at the end of the day no matter what anyone said, it was. 

I decided right then and there that I was going to go. If he wanted to keep meeting me on weekends like he implied, then maybe I can somehow earn his trust and take him out when he isn't looking. For now, that was the plan. I just really hoped he wouldn't make me do anything like the time I saw him. 

Sebastian's POV//

I couldn't fall asleep. As hard as I tried, my efforts were entirely futile. It was that girl- I just couldn't get her out of my head. from what I was shown earlier that night, I could tell she was hurting, but I had no idea how to comfort her or make her feel better. I wanted to, but I just didn't know how. Part of me wanted to go and see her right now; I couldn't fathom the thought of her lying in her bed all alone, and in pain. 

Whatever we were in the past, that's not so much my concern anymore. I want her now, as she is, and I want to make new memories with her. I want her to feel okay again, and I want her to be mine. I only hope that she'll understand this. I know she's grieving the loss of what we had in ways that I can't comprehend anymore due to the memory loss, but hopefully we can find a way to be together again. 

I know it's selfish, but I need her. So I hope she gets over whatever it is she's feeling soon so I can be close to her again. 

When I kissed her, I could tell she wanted me, but there were also regrets and fears flashing through her eyes as she wasn't sure how to feel about my advances. Out of everything happening, all I knew was that I needed her close to me, in any capacity that she was willing to give herself. 

I rolled over onto my side, and closed my eyes again, trying to sleep. By the time I finally drifted off, it was well into the morning. I was going to be dead tired in my classes tomorrow.