Penance - Uncovering the truth, Secrets and confessions, and Twisted pasts

Chapter 12

"Let's try again," he said, forcing his hands to let go, even though some part of him didn't want to.

He noticed her fingers twitch, as if she wanted to hold onto him, and damn himself for noticing, but she didn't grab him.

Alison took her time to get comfortable in the water.

"Careful, " he said quietly, almost like a warning. But it wasn't the water he was warning her about. It was the sudden, stupid urge to catch her again if she fell.

She didn't hear him. Didn't even look at him.

Grayson sighed, running a hand through his hair. God, what was he doing?

Eventually, Alison stopped fighting the water and let herself fall. Her entire body waited for something to happen, but she didn't sink. Not this time. This time, she was letting the water hold her. And not him.

She tried to swim around a bit.

Grayson moved a little closer, just enough that he could reach her if he had to. Some stupid, human part of him was telling him to protect her, to grab her and pull her out. But, for some reason, he just... watched.

Damn her, he thought.

She was doing it. She was floating. She was winning.

"You're not sinking," he said, before he could stop himself.

Alison smiled, and it wasn't the fake smile he was used to seeing that had something to hide. No, this was real. Something about the way she looked at him told him she was happy.

Grayson opened his mouth to say something, but the words never came out. 

Of course, he had to say something, right? Something cutting or cold to erase the feeling to whatever this moment was. Instead, he just... stayed quiet. Idiot.

"I'm not sinking," she said, sure of herself.

That should have been his cue to grab the camera and continue on their IT project. But he watched her float, and for a second, he forgot to think.

There was something about her in the water that—damn it, he hated it, but it was true—it made sense. She was right where she needed to be, and somehow, that made everything in him want to stay.

He hated this. Hated the way he was invested in something as stupid as teaching her to swim. It was a waste of his time. She wasn't his responsibility. She wasn't anyone he needed to save.

"Thank you, Grayson," she smiled at him, using his name for the first time.

There was no challenge in it, no bite. Just truth.

Grayson didn't know what to say to that. He didn't know if he liked hearing it. Or maybe he did.

He stared at her for a second longer. 

"Don't get used to it,"he said, not looking at her, his voice careless.

Alison laughed. He didn't know whether to be annoyed or confused. Or maybe both. But she just kept laughing, and, damn it, he was drowning in her laugh.

"I won't," she said quietly, almost to herself.

Grayson turned to get out from the pool. He didn't let himself look back. Not because he didn't want to, but because he knew better than to.

He didn't want to admit that something in her smile had unsettled him. It was too real. Too honest.

And Grayson Hawthorne wasn't the type to deal with honesty.

So he left, letting his legs carry him far enough from the moment, far enough from her.

It was better this way. He convinced himself of that, as he always did.