If I Can't Have You... | Empires Smp S1

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Jimmy's POV:

I'm going to hurt him.

I'm going to hurt him just like everyone else I've gotten close to.

Why did I speak?

I should have just said nothing.

He would have known to leave me alone.

"Hey Jim," he says softly, approaching me cautiously as if seeking permission.

I let a shy smile play at the corners of my lips before tucking my head into my knees again.

I hear his footsteps crunch closer, and a feeling of shock ripples through me as he lightly rests a hand on my shoulder.

I slightly lift my head, to see Pix's warm smile beside me.

"You know," he says knowledgeably - wistfully almost. "If you ever need someone to talk to, bud, I'm right here,"

He looks at me with light expectancy riddled within his expression, but when I fail to comply he bows his head in a nod.

My eyes fall back to the ground.

In seeing this, Pix continues with the conversation.

"And all these bold assumptions you're making aren't true,"

Well, I've heard that one before.

"For one, Lizzie doesn't hate you,"

I look up, almost intrigued, before crushing those feelings of hope.

"She should though," I muttered, and I can feel the pity coming off of Pix like the rays of sunshine emanating from the sun.

"She has no reason to," Pix spoke again, and his answer was infuriating.

Of course, it wasn't his fault.

Yet, she had every single right to hate me.

From the very bottom of her heart.

"I killed her husband, Pix!" I cried, not daring to look up at Pix's face. "He's gone! Joel's never coming back!"

Pix sighed - almost tired, and I immediately felt terrible.

I could only imagine Pix going around and becoming everyone's favourite server-wide therapist.

And me?

Well, I don't seem to be helping.

"Jim," says a new voice, and my heart skips a beat.

I hesitantly turn my head and am met with a pair of chocolate brown eyes I never thought I'd ever see again.

"Bold of you to assume I'm dead," Joel says with a smug expression.

I want to be infuriated with him.

So badly.

I wanted to scream at him.

"How could you leave me on such a note, Joel?"

But how could I blame Joel for a fault of mine?

He approaches me, a genuine smile on his face as he playfully punches my arm.

"Can't get rid of me," he continues. "I'm too handsome. Too humble. Too-"

"Short?" Pix suggests with a snort of laughter, and a smile plays on my face.

Joel scoffs in mock offence.

"I cannot believe you Pix!" He pouts, placing the most ridiculous look on his face. "Of all the people on this server, I wouldn't have thought it to be-"

His voice drowns out as I wrap my arms around Joel, sinking into a hug.

"I'm sorry," I hear myself whisper.

I feel him return it, patting my back softly.

"No need to be sorry mate," he says in my ear.

"I would have done the exact same,"