Angel (Damiano David & Victoria De Angelis)

Chapter 35

They sat there for a long time that night. Mostly in silence, but that was okay. They shared some cigarettes and Victoria was holding his hand the whole time. He seemed relatively calm, which was good, but eerie in a way. Not that she wasn't happy that he was so calm, but whenever he didn't show any emotions, it was way harder for her to tell what was really going on inside of him. She still hadn't talked to him about the blood on his arm. She knew she needed to take care of it, but she kinda didn't want to destroy his peacefulness right now. After a while, he spoke up again. His voice was quiet and he sounded a bit anxious, but overall, he seemed alright. "Vic? Can I ask you something?" She looked over at him, scanning his face for any clues on how he was feeling – she didn't see much...it was too dark. "Yeah, of course. What is it, Angel?" "What kind of questions do you think they're gonna ask?" She thought for a moment. Of course, that would make him anxious. Having to share private things with the world was already hard enough, but in Damiano's case it was even worse. Those were the things that made him most vulnerable and up to now only she had been allowed to really see that side of him. And now he was supposed to tell it to the whole world. "I don't know, Angel. I'm not a lawyer, so, all I can do is guess. I think they'll want to know as many details as possible. You might have to tell them things you haven't even told me. They'll want to know about everything. How you started dating Carla, the physical abuse, the rape but also the self harm and how I came to help you. I'll be able to tell them a lot as well, of course. Everything I know, I'll tell them and we can talk to the lawyer who's building our case and ask him or her to let me answer whatever I can so you won't have to answer everything. But even if that's possible, you'll still have to answer a lot because, as I said, they'll probably want to know things that even I don't know." She was talking in a very calm and gentle way, but she still noticed how he became more and more tense. "I want to do it, Vic...I really do. But what if I can't? What if I panic or break down? What if it throws me back again? Like, a lot..." His voice was now quivering a bit, but she was immensely proud of him. That was the calmest talk they had had in a long time and even with her mentioning the rape, he hadn't panicked at all. She scooted a bit closer to him, wrapping her arm around his shoulders: "I know you can do it. I'll be there with you the whole time and if you panic or anything like that, we'll ask them to take a break and then we can step outside until you feel better. And if it throws you back again, we'll pull through and work on getting you better again. I know that is scary to think about, but it'll be okay. I promise you that." He scoffed a bit: "Yeah, well...last time you promised me something, I got hurt, so.." She felt her heart sink at that, but she kept calm: "Damiano...that's not fair. I know that my plan was shit and I can't ever show or tell you just how sorry I am about all of that...but I love you, Damiano...I really do. Whether you want me to love you as a friend or girlfriend is up to you, but you won't get rid of my love anymore. Not now and not ever." He took a shaky breath and grabbed her hand again: "You're right...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I know you're doing all you can...and I'll be thankful for that for the rest of my life." After that, he stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath: "And I love you too...as my friend...but also as my girlfriend if you still want that." That actually lit her face up: "Of course, I still want to be your girlfriend. Why wouldn't I want that?" He shrugged: "I don't know. Because I'm a loser." She gently caressed his wrist, feeling the drying blood on it: "You're not a loser, Damiano. You're the strongest and bravest person I know. And I'll do whatever I can to make you happy." "Thanks, Vic. I really appreciate it." After that, there was silence again. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence though. Eventually, she had to ask about his wounds, so she waited until he had calmed down a bit and then spoke up: "Can I have a look at it?" He nodded slowly: "Yeah." Then, he pulled his sleeves up.