I can't do this anymore

Chapter 2 - i will be back

August

Carmeñ's pov:

Today was my favourite day. Game day. I loved the butterflies I get in my stomach and the nerves. I loved the roar of the crowd. I loved the bus rides. I just loved the whole experience. It was thrilling and made me fell alive. I woke at to my alarm at 7 am and the game is at 3 pm. The bus leaves at 12 so I have around 5 hours. We were playing Ajax for a friendly and it was my last game before my move. Tears were prickling my eyes when my phone went off. I smiled when I was who it was.
/'hello my boy how are you today?'/ I said the little boys on the screen making me smile.
/'hey my sister today I'm the best I have been all week!'/he replied clearly tired. He seemed to always be tired now. I knew he didn't have long left. That's why I was coming so soon. But it was good that he was good today. Maybe there was hope.
/'Cars you went away then are you okay okay'/ he asked conserned.
/'yep im all going and I'm coming to see you in 4 days!! I miss you so much I haven't seen you in a week how do you like London?'/ I asked
/' Londons actually okay it's always raining though'/he replied
/'yay I love the rain'/ sarcasm evident in my voice.
/'anyways I have to go now Cars for a scan but I'm be watching your game and do great okay?'/ he said while blowing a kiss at me through the screen.
/'okay superstar I'll call you later yeah? I love you'/
/'yep love you toooo'/ and with that he was gone. I burst into tears. It wasn't fair. He was only 13 and very wise for his years. He's my last bit of family and I would do anything for him.

I walk downstairs in my running stuff to see that Lex had the same idea as me.

As we ran I ranted to her the whole way about how it wasn't fair and he was to young.
We ran for 2 hours then went home. Lex said there was a surprise and I open the door to Mapi on the sofa. I squeeled and jumped on her. She hugged me back as I slowly broke down in her arms.
/'I don't wanna leave Maps my whole life is here'/
/'I know baby but we will all be here when you get back and we can come visit and there is internal break. I'm only a phone call away yeah?'/
/'okay thank you Maps love you'/
/'I love you to Cars'/

Skip to the bus to camp nou

Alexia's pov:
I watch Cars Lelia and pina mess around in the back of the bus and realise how much im gonna miss her. She's like my daughter and I would do a nothing for her. She deserves the world. She went thought to much at such a young age and I want to give her her childhood back. I want to be selfish and tell her to stay but I know she needes to go and be there for her. She is so strong. I love her and her brother so much they are both my children and I would go to the ends of the earth for them. Her brother means so much to me and didn't deserve to be going though so much at such a young age. But I needed to be strong for them both. It's the least they deserved.
I felt tears creep into my eyes and next to me I felt Mapi side hug me. I hugged her back both of us silently crying.
/'she will be okay. We won't let her go back to that place. She won't get like that against we won't let her. Everyone on this bus loves her and will help. She will be okay'/
I wanted to believe her. I never want my Carmeñ to be in that place again. It took to long for her to get out.
/'anyway are we still holding her a good bye party tomorrow'/
Mapi looked at me offended.
/'of course we are is that evan a question'/ she said in mock shock

Time skip to in the tunnel

Carmeñ's pov:
I wasn't normally an emotional person. I was always told that emotions are weak and that I should never cry and the only people I ever cried in front of were Lex and Mapi.
So I surprised my self when I felt my eyes water as I stood in the tunnel ready for my last game in this shirt for a while.
With this shirt on I felt proud. And I always wanted to do them proud. I was also proud of myself. Here I was surrounded by people with all the scars on my arms out. In a way I was proud of my scars. They show that I was able to hold on though some rough times and survive what I did. I also loved my tattoos. They made me unique and special.
Next to me I could feel Ajax players staring at my scars and I was okay with it. They may think I was weak but I will show them on the pitch. They will see.
I had my number 13 on my back and I felt happy to be here with my favourite people around me.
We walked out of the tunnel me being last. We lined up and then I was called over to the middle of the 2 teams and stood next to coach. A little girl came over and gave me a bunch of flowers.
/'here you go'/ she said shyly
/'thank you my love would you like a hug'/ I asked softly.
She nod and I knelt down beside her a gently hugged her. When I stood up again coach gave me my shirt with my name on it and the number 94 on it. I was asked to say a few words.
/'I love this club with my whole heart and all the members will always have a special place in my life. The next year will be an adventure but I am forever thanks full for all this club has done for me and all the opportunities it has given me. I will never forget you fans always being supportive and I will be back. I am forever thank full.'/
I said with tears
/'força barça'/ i shouted before running back to my team with tears streaming down my face.

The game finished 5-0 with a hat trick for me. I celebrate by kissing the tattoo that have /'I love you'/ written in 3 different hand writing then running to the camera grabbing the badge on my chest.
After I just lay on my back in the middle of the pitch thinking about how much I'm going to miss this place.

I decided to post on instagram (just pretend it's her in the photos)
@carmeñletissiè

Liked by @marialeonn16 and 396,765 more
@carmeñletissiè-Last game for a while I love this club so so much and thank you so much to everyone who has helped me on this incredible ride. So much love and see you next season. /Força barçaaaaa🫶🫶
Comments
@alexiaputellas: /'so much love'/
-@carmeñletissiè /'love you Lex'/
@marialeonn16:/'so proud'/
-@carmeñlerissiè /'bestie'/
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2nd chapter done what is everyone thinking please lmk what you think Ty xx