I can't do this anymore

Chapter 37 - he wanted me to win it

Carmeñ's pov:

I was going homeee. It has been a few months since I had been back in my home country and I was going to watch Barça win the champions league. I had full faith in them to win. I was sitting at the airport and it was 3pm english time. The game was tomorrow at 1pm. I had a few suitcases with me from England to start moving back to Spain. After the match Jonatan would talk to Chelsea to finalise a move back to Barça. I would miss Chelsea but Barça was my heart and always would be.

I boarded the plane and 2 hours later arrived in my favourite place in the world. Lex was still at training so Alba came and picked me up.
/'AL! I have missed youuu'/ I said in the older girls arms.
/'I know my love I'm so happy your here'/ she said squeezing me again.
/'come on ma wants to see you'/ she said pulling me to the car.

/'Carmeñ! Come in my child I'm so proud of you'/ Eli said hugging me tightly and lightly swaying me side to side.
/'thank you Ma I have missed you both very much'/ I said not moving from the women's embrace.
/'well Ale may have let slip that you are coming home'/ she said wiggling her eyebrows making me giggle.
/'shhh it's a secret'/ I said putting my index finger up to my lips.
/'my lips are sealed'/

After a few hours with Alba and Eli I got a taxi to Lex's house. She was already home and so were all the other girls them wanting an early night ready for the next day. I opened the door at around 8pm.
/'Lexy are you homeee'/ I sang and walked into the lounge leaving my bags at the door.
/'Car I am homeee'/ she sang back from the sofa opening her arms for me. I jumped into them getting comfy.
/'did you see Ma and Al'/ she asked me while gently scratching my arm.
/'yeah I did! I missed them both alot'/ I said.
/'they have both missed you as well Car and so has everyone in the team. They keep going on about how much they want you back and how they can't wait for next season'/ she said softly and she turned her head to look at me.
/'I have missed them all so so much'/ I met her eyes and gently smiled at her.
/'they are going to be so happy to see you'/ she said and I started ginning like a mad man.
/'I'm so excited to see them'/ I said clapping my hands with excitement.

I woke up the next day in a bed by myself. I checked my phone to see Lex had texted saying that she had to go and to not be late. It was only half 11. Shit 1 and a half hours in till the game started. I needed to hurry up.

Nala and Simba were already at Eli's so I didn't need to worry about them. I wasn't that hungry so I just made a coffee and didn't worry about food.

I pulled on some denim shorts with an Alexia Barça shirt. It was hot here in Spain and I had missed the heat. It was to cold in England for my liking. I threw a jumper over my shoulders just in case and left.

I got out of the cab at 12:45. Plenty of time. My ticket was right near the sub bench so it didn't take me to long to find it.
'Carmeñ!' A voice said as I sat down. I looked up.
/'hey coach how you feeling?'/ I asked him as he high fived me.
/'okay but I would feel better if you were in our shirts'/ he said making me laugh.
/'soon okay and I am look'/ I said pointing to the Barça badge on the shirt making him chuckle as well.

The atmosphere was incredible. There were so many fans for both fans and it was amazing to see how much the women's game had grown but also how much potential it has to grow more. I was proud to be a part of a team that had such amazing fans and supporters.

The teams walked out of the tunnel and lined up. Lex led out Barça and Wendie Renard led out Lyon. It would be hard game for the girls but I knew they could do it. Lex and Mapi spotted me quickly and smiled at me. I sent them a little wave. Jenni followed Lex's eye line and when she saw me she grinned at me and blew me a kiss. I pretended to catch it and smiled back at her.

About 5 minutes in Pina saw me from her place on the bench.
/'TISS'/ she said and came right next to the fence I was sat next to.
/'PINA'/ I said back and she hugged me over the barrier. Lieke and Ana-Maria saw me as well and came over.

We had the most possession but in the 6th minute Amandine Henry managed to put her foot on the ball from way outside the box and it few into the back of the net. Half of the stadium erupted and I saw the looks of disappointment from Lex's face. She was to hard on herself. Even though I didn't want it to happen it was an incredible goal from Henry.

In the 23rd minute our defence slipped again. Ada Hegerberg got her head on the ball and it bounced into the back of the net. Mapi's face dropped but we still had time to recover.

In the 33rd minute Catarina Macario also scored making us 3-0 down. The whole team looked disappointed but I knew they could bounce back.

Half time came around and coach said I was allowed in the changing room. I ran in their after the girls. I opened the doors and Patri was the first one to notice me.
/'TISS'/ she yelled and ran at me. I held her tight and the rest of the girls joined in. All of us stood in the middle of the changing room in one big hug me at the middle.

We stood like that for a bit until I got a bit costrophobic .
/'okay guys I need to breath'/ I said trying to wriggle out.
/'no come back here'/ Tana said and wrapped her arms around my neck again. I could feel her softly crying.
/'hey Tana it's not your fault okay? You guys are playing so well and you have much more possession than them. You just need to use that for your advantage and I think you will find it easier when Pina come on'/ I said gently rubbing her back. She sniffed pulled away and nodded. She kissed my head and went to get some water.

Mapi was sitting by herself her head in her hands. I went and sat down next to her. I took her hands in mine and rubbed the back of her hand with my thumb.
/'it's not your fault'/ I told her.
/'I know I'm just not playing my best I'm having and off day for some reason'/ she said sounding annoyed.
/'that okay you know. Everyone has off days'/ I said.
/'but why today!'/ she groaned and hugged me properly.

/'okay girls I have full faith in you. All you need to do is play football and I know you can all do that. I believe in you and half the people in this stadium do as well. Go out there and smash it'/ I said and walked out back to my seat.

A minute after the teams walked out again and the whistle blew again. We were holding them back until Lex managed to break through with a beautiful cross from Caro, Lex slotted the ball on the back of the net. The queen of Barça strikes again.

The final whistle blew with the final score being 3-1 to Lyon. The Lyon players cheered and celebrated like mad but the Barça girls looked defeated and tired. I could tell the girls were devastated but Lyon played the better game. It was the other side of football. The loss the disappointment the hard work. We had the most possession but still lost.

I was allowed onto the pitch and Lex was the first I ran to. She was on the floor her eyes red. I pulled her up and hugged her tightly.
/'I'm so so proud of you'/ I said in her ear.
/'I should have done better'/ she muttered. I pulled away slightly to look in her eyes.
/'no you did what you were asked to do and you scored in a champions league final you should be proud'/ I said but tears brimmed her eyes.
/'he wanted me to win it'/ she said and I felt my eyes water as well.
/'well he will have to wait okay? And I promise you right now he is so very proud of you'/ I said my voice thick as well. She nodded and hugged me again tightly.

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Thank you for reading xx