Dear Newt // Newt x reader.

Chapter 12 - Meeting Thomas

I can't describe the pain within me when Newt said those words. It felt as if someone took a knife and stabbed it straight into my chest. "What do you mean, a break?" I said, struggling to hold back the tears. I didn't want him to see me cry.

He clenched his fists and looked away from me. As if he refused to look at me when he said what he was going to say next.

"You don't understand, y/n," he said.

"I wanna fuck you so badly."

My cheeks turned red and I felt heat between my legs."Next time, I won't be able to stop myself. I will grab you and kiss you all over, I don't care who watches."

Now I understand. He couldn't do that in public. We would've been banished to the maze. "Okay" I said softly, this was the hardest thing I've ever had to admit. Newt looked at me for a while, then he took my hand. "I love you. But it's for our own good," he said. I nodded, and then he let go of my hand and left the room.

I sat there, unable to stop the tears from flowing. There was such immense pain within my chest. I buried myself in the bed, facing the door where he had walked out, and let the tears flow.

I heard heavy footsteps entering the room. I turned around, expecting it to be Newt. "Newt?" I even said, but it wasn't Newt. It was the new Greenie. I turned around immediately with a sigh. "What do you want, Greenie?" I said, sniffling. He was silent for a moment. "Are you okay?" he asked, heading towards the direction I was looking at.

"No," I honestly replied. I wanted to be sarcastic, but I didn't have the energy right now. I looked at the Greenie, he just stood there and stared.

After a while, he opened his mouth. "Can you tell me where I am?" he asked. "You're in the Glade," was all I said. "Yeah, but..." the Greenie tried to continue, "DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M IN A CHATTY MOOD NOW?" I yelled. He looked at me, seeing how much I had cried, my eyes were red, and my cheeks were pink. Tears were welling up in my eyelids, and I sniffled. He felt bad. "Okay, I'm sorry," he said softly and walked away.

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It was bonfire night. Thomas sat beside Newt, who continued to drink moonshine, which Thomas didn't understand what it was.Why is there only one girl?" he asked Newt. Thomas had been bombarding Newt with questions all the time. Newt hadn't had the energy to answer any of them. He was as sad as I was. But now, it was about me.

He turned to Thomas. "Y/n?"

"Is that her name?" he asked, and Newt nodded. "Why aren't there any more girls?" Newt shrugged and raised the glass to his mouth to drink even more. Thomas stared at him; he was drinking a lot compared to the others.

"Did you see her in the homestead?" he asked Thomas.

Thomas nodded.

"How was she doing?" he asked.

"She was crying." Newt's heart sank; he didn't want me to feel bad.In that moment, Minho stormed over to them, an intense fire burning in his eyes. He stopped just short of shouting but spoke with a fierce determination. "Newt! What the shuck have you done to Y/N? I have been comforting her, while crying her eyes out in the homestead, and it's all because of you, you shank!"

Newt's blurry, drunken gaze met Minho's fiery eyes, his own anger fueled by the alcohol coursing through his veins. "You're always there for her, aren't you? Laughing together, talking late into the night. Now you're helping her, that used to be my job!" he slurred, his words filled with hurt and jealousy. Thomas sitting on the grass, confused as hell.

Minho's expression softened as he realized the depth of Newt's pain. He took a step closer, his voice tinged with sympathy. "Newt, it's not like that. Y/N needed someone to lean on, and I was there for her as a friend. You know how much you mean to me, but right now, she needed support."

But Newt's drunken mind refused to listen to reason. "No! You're lying! You and her have some bloody bond! And I bet you like her, don't you? Admit it!" he exclaimed, his voice trembling with both anger and sadness.

Minho shook his head, his voice firm yet gentle. "No, Newt. I care about both of you deeply, but my feelings for Y/N are purely platonic. I would never try to come between you two."

Feeling the weight of his inebriation, Minho realized that reasoning with a drunk Newt was futile. He reached out, intending to guide his friend back to his sleeping quarters. "Newt, let's get you some rest. We can talk more about this when you're sober. Trust me, it's not worth making hasty decisions."

But Newt swatted Minho's hand away, his eyes filled with defiance. "I don't need your help, Minho. I'll go find Y/N."

Minho's worry deepened, his concern for his friend overshadowing the frustration he had felt moments ago. He knew he couldn't force Newt to listen, but he had to ensure his safety. "Fine, but promise me you'll be careful. You're drunk, Newt. Just remember that."

With a determined yet unsteady gait, Newt turned away from Minho and made his way towards the homestead. As he stumbled through the darkness, regret mixed with the jealousy that had consumed him earlier. Deep down, he knew he had pushed away the best thing that ever happened to him in his klonk place, but he was desperate to seek solace and understanding from me, hoping against hope that their fractured bond could still be repaired.

Newt knocked softly on the door, and I opened it, revealing my tear-stained face. The sight of Newt only intensified the whirlwind of emotions I was experiencing. His eyes widened with guilt, fully aware of the pain he had caused me.

"What, Newt?" I said with a sigh, my voice laced with a mixture of exhaustion and confusion.

Newt hesitated, his words slurred from the alcohol. "I wanna... help you," he mumbled, struggling to find coherence in his drunken state. The memory of his conversation with Minho resurfaced, reminding him of his jealousy and misguided attempts to reclaim the role of comforter.

Confusion clouded my thoughts as I tried to decipher his words. "Help me? Newt, I appreciate that, but I can't rely on you right now. I need space to heal," I replied, my voice tinged with a hint of frustration.

A flicker of hurt flashed across Newt's face, his drunken mind struggling to process my rejection. "I'm the one who's supposed to help you feel better, not Minho," he slurred, his words heavy with jealousy.

Realization dawned upon me as I connected the dots. Minho must have confronted Newt, triggering his jealousy and misguided sense of responsibility. I sighed, realizing the depth of the turmoil consuming him.

"Newt, you can't control who comforts me," I said gently, my voice tinged with sympathy. "Right now, what's important is that you take care of yourself and work on healing our relationship."

But Newt's alcohol-fueled emotions overwhelmed him, blurring the boundaries of appropriate behavior. In his intoxicated state, he stepped forward, invading my personal space. He grabbed me, perhaps a bit too forcefully, and kissed me. His breath was filled with alcohol.

I pushed him away firmly, my voice firm yet filled with sadness. "Newt, stop. This isn't the way. We can't fix things like this."

It was as if he didn't hear me, or maybe he was ignoring me. But he attempted to kiss me again, and this time, I struggled to free myself from his grasp. "Newt, stop!" I shouted. At that moment, Minho burst into the room, followed by the greenie. Minho quickly assessed the situation and Minho pulled Newt from me.

"Newt, come on, shank," Minho said, his voice filled with anger. Newt disappeared with Minho, but Thomas stayed put, his eyes filled with apologetic understanding. "Are you okay?" he asked me. What is it with this guy? Why is he so concerned and caring about me? "Yeah, I'm fine," I snorted and left the homestead. I didn't want to spend another minute in that place. It used to be just a break, and I cried because I loved him and wanted to be with him, but I couldn't. Now, I was angry at him for forcing himself on me. I could never imagine going back from that break.