Dear Newt // Newt x reader.

chapter 13 - Ben

I woke up the next day... I had hoped that all my anger towards Newt would have faded by now. That everything would be as it was. But my memories were still there. He tried to kiss me... even though I made it clear that I didn't want him to. Well... of course, I wanted it... but not when he was drunk.

I experience similar things all the time here in the Glade. I am trapped with men who have never seen a woman before, at least not that they remember. I'm not sure about it here. I often feel uncomfortable. Newt and Minho were the only ones I could trust. But now... I don't know how Newt sees me. If I'm not just an "object" to him like the rest. Not that they have done anything to make me think that, other than maybe staring too much. But it's a small insecurity I have. That they're only nice to me because they want my body.

I went to the Homestead, I saw Newt at the table with Alby. He gave me a look, and I looked back at him. We stared at each other for a few minutes until I went forward and took food, then I sat by myself outside the Homestead, leaning against the wall with the plate on my lap. I didn't want to sit next to Newt now, and Minho was sitting next to him.

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I thought it would be awkward at work. Newt would surely be mad about what happened yesterday and take out his anger on someone else. Or maybe he had tried to apologize. But Thomas was with him this time, so he was busy answering his questions.

"Have you guys ever tried going down in the box after it makes a delivery?" " Thomas asked "Tried it. The box won't go down when someone is in it." Newt answered, while doing his work. I tried hard to ignore him, tried to stay out of their way, but my work needed me to be close to them, so I heard everything.

"What about..."

"Tried it." This time it was me who interrupted him, Newt och Thomas stared at me. Thomas was more confused because he had his back to me. Newt just looked sorrowful. Full of regret when he saw me.

"Tried what?" "Going through the hole after the Box goes down. Can't. Doors will open, but there's just emptiness, blackness, nothing. No ropes, nada. "Can't do it." I said.

"Did you—" "Tried it." This time it was Newt who interrupted him.

"Okay, what?" Thomas groaned "We threw some things into the hole. Never heard them and. It goes on for a long time." Newt explained.

Thomas paused before he replied, not wanting to be cut off again. "What are you, a mind reader or something?" He threw as much sarcasm he could into the comment.

"Only special about him is his accent." I said, Newt looked at me with a frown. He honestly looked hurt but I didn't care, I was pissed.

Thomas opened his mouth again but Newt interrupted him. "Look, we've tried it. Anything you can come up with, we've tried it, twice." Newt explained, Thomas was silent.

"The only thing out here is through the maze." Newt said. Thomas looked dissatisfied with this, as if he was determined to find a way out. Sure, everyone here wants to get out, but not in the way Thomas does. Newt asked if he could fetch him more fertilizer. When Thomas walked away, it was just me and Newt left. Sure, the others were also working, but they were a bit away. I coughed and went back to work, trying my best to fight the anger within me. It was like a lion wanting to break out of its cage. And it only wanted to tear Newt's head off. Why? I had no idea.

"You..." he began, "leave it, Newt." Whatever I said. If he says something stupid now, the lion will just break free. "I'm really ashamed." I don't want you to think I wanted to take advantage of you. I saw you and Minho, and I got angry..." I looked at him. "Why? Don't you trust me?" I said, and the lion calmed down a little. Was that why I got so angry? Because I was hurt that he didn't trust me? "Why be with someone who limps when you can be with the keepers of the runners?" he said.

He was unsure. Uncertain about himself. It doesn't have to be something specific that I've said or done; it's just a voice in his head telling him he's not worthy. At least not worthy enough to be my boyfriend. "So... when you were drunk..." I didn't need to finish the sentence because he did it for me. "I was stupid and wanted to see if we could..." have sex. If I wanted it too. Because his insecurity forced him. Or it must be something like that.

I opened my mouth to say something but was interrupted by screaming. Panic filled your heart as I turned towards the source of the screaming.

Ben, who didn't even look human anymore..., relentlessly attacked Thomas. Panic and fear gripped my heart as I watched the new greenie desperately trying to defend himself. Without a second thought, my mama bear instincts kicked in. I rushed forward, joining the group of Gladers attempting to pull Ben away.

I fought with every ounce of strength, determined to free Thomas from Ben's relentless grip. But in the midst of the struggle, Ben's hands found their way to my throat, tightening his grip. "This is all because of you!" Ben shouted. "This is your fault!" I started panicking, not only because of what he said but because I felt that air couldn't find its way into me anymore.

Just when I thought all hope was lost, a surge of energy pushed Ben away from me. Newt, driven by a mix of fury and concern, had come to my rescue. He fought with an intensity I had never seen before, his determination to protect me shining through his eyes.

I gasped for air as he tried to keep Ben still on the ground along with Gally. In that moment, something shifted within you. Despite the trust issues that had haunted me recently, I saw the depth of sincerity and care in his eyes that made me love him in the first place. The realization dawned on me that Newt would risk everything to save me.

He and Gally held him still on the ground, Gally tried to pull off his shirt. That's when I gasped, he had been stung. "In the middle of the day?" Gally asked, grievers is never out on the day. Ben was literally crying, begging Ally and the others to help him. But there was nothing else we were able to do. Not only had he been stung, but he had attacked me and Thomas.

"Put him in the pit." said Alby.

Ben tried his best to resist. But Gally and Newt's grip on him was too strong, after a lot of struggle they managed to put him on his feet. That's when his gaze locked with mine, who had my hands around the marks he caused on my throat. He tried to move towards me, attacking me once again, but Gally stopped him by tightening his grip.

My heart ached as I watched them dragging him to the Pit. Amidst the chaos, Ben's crazed voice pierced through, his words aimed directly at Newt. "Don't trust y/n!" he shouted, his eyes wild with a mix of pain and confusion. "She's a spy,Newt!"

My breath caught in my throat as Ben's words echoed in the air. The weight of his accusation hung heavily in my chest, stirring a mix of emotions within me. Me and Ben had been friends, and his sudden distrust and betrayal left me feeling shattered and confused.