Dear Newt // Newt x reader.

Chapter 22 - traitor

Me and Gally shared a look, sure, the curiosity was there, of course. Who that girl was, would there be more girls after her? Something I would have actually wanted. But I didn't see the point in telling me; it's not like I'm a keeper or anything.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked him. "She's scared, we thought you could make her less scared. It might not be as frightening if she realizes she's not the only girl," Newt explained. He had a point there; waking up in a place full of men who have never seen a girl before can be scary... I know that.

"Okay," I said, putting down the bow. Gally and I started walking towards Homestead. "No, just y/n," Newt said to Gally. I looked at Gally; he sighed, "I can plan your archery lessons," he said. I smiled and nodded.

Newt and I started walking towards Homestead, at least that's where I thought we were going. But he made me change direction towards deadheads. "What are we doing here?" I asked him but got no answer. As we approached, I saw several lit candles. Probably more than a hundred of them, a poorly made blanket, and food on the blanket. I looked angrily at Newt. It's not that I didn't appreciate this, but I didn't exactly want a romantic dinner with my ex.

"I didn't know how else to get you here. I wish we could talk about... us," he said. I didn't want this, but I'm not heartless. He did a really nice thing with all the candles, and the food smelled amazing. I didn't say anything; I just sat down.

"Is it Frypan's burgers?" I asked with enthusiasm. Newt nodded and took a box with what looked like burgers in it. "He baked the bread just for us," he said and put the meat on freshly baked bread.

"If you don't mind me asking, why did you break up with me?" he asked me and gave me the burger. I took a bite and couldn't help but let out a moan. Frypan's burgers were so good it felt like they were made in heaven.

Then I looked at Newt, who was waiting for an answer.

"You're terribly jealous, Newt," I said, and then I took another bite of the burger. He sighed, "I'm working on it. It's just... I love you, y/n," he said, and my heart sank. "I wish I could just say that we could let everything go, hug you, kiss you, and go back to how it was before," I said, and he started smiling, "we can do that..." he said, but I shook my head. "But... then I think about how the other guys see me. They see me as Newt's girlfriend. Not the person I want them to see me as." Newt's smile disappeared. For Newt, it felt like I had hit him with Frypan's frying pans.

"Isn't that something good then? That you're mine?" he said.

I understand what he meant. Being labeled as his girlfriend would be something nice, and if we loved each other, it wouldn't mean anything else. Why can't I be myself and his girlfriend?

"I want to be more than that, Newt," I said.

He looked down at the ground, tears falling from his eyes. As soon as they reached his cheek, he covered his face with his hands so I wouldn't see the tears. "Sorry, but I have to go..." he said, and he stood up. I tried to call after him, but he ran away, leaving me with the picnic and the burgers.

__

After the picnic, I visited Thomas in the slammer. As a punishment for going back into the maze, he had to spend a night there, even though Newt made him a runner. He got Newt's burger that he hadn't eaten, and I gave him the picnic blanket. He thanked me and then asked why I was upset, because I was. I cried the entire walk from deadheads to here. I wiped away a tear. 'I really hurt Newt,' I said. He didn't say anything. That means he agrees with me. There wasn't more to talk about, so I started walking towards Homestead to find Newt. I hope I didn't negatively affect his health even more.

He wasn't in Homestead, so I went to the Med-Jack. Clint and Jeff weren't there at the moment, the girl was there as usual. She kept repeating Thomas' name over and over. Next to her, Alby would lie, but that spot was empty. Shit. Panic flew within me. Should I tell them? Maybe Clint and Jeff are looking for him? I turned to leave, but there he stood. In the doorway. He was awake! And on his feet! 'Alby!' I said with a cheerful tone, but his gaze was not as positive as my reaction. He stared at me as if I had killed someone. As if I were a ghost. The next moment, he rushed towards me and grabbed my throat, 'traitor!' he screamed.

I felt as if no air reached my lungs, and how they struggled desperately to be filled. Finally, Clint and Jeff rushed in, attempting to pull Alby away, but his grip was relentless around my throat. He flung my body towards the empty bed where he used to lie. Pain cut through me like a knife as I collided with the hard surface. Although in theory, it's a bed, there's no mattress there, just a blanket and some hay. I didn't realize how rock-hard they actually were until my head was thrown against them.

'What's happening?' It was Newt's voice; never have I been so relieved to hear it. My breaths became increasingly labored and uneven as Alby's unyielding grip tightened around my throat.

In that moment when darkness threatened to sweep over me, images from the past flared up. Memories of me and Newt danced by like a fragile film reel.

When we shared a hammock because I didn't have my own yet, when he kissed me for the first time... that's what I saw before everything went dark.