Let It Be

Breathe

November 1999

Liam smoked his second cigarette in a row on the front step of Alison's studio in the leafy London suburb that Alison now resided in. He glanced up at the image on the sign. White gauzy bridal veils and gold curly script like the kind you would see on wedding invitations. He felt his stomach clench queasily. Patsy had looked beautiful on their wedding day. But as she'd walked towards him he already knew in his heart that it wasn't right. Patsy wasn't right for him. But he so desperately wanted stability and the opportunity to have a "normal marriage". No fighting. No hurting. No splitting up. No kids getting messed about. He touched his ring finger that was now bare twisting the non-existent metal band there. He'd failed. He was just repeating the cycle. He'd ruined everything that had ever brought him happiness besides the band...and even then that looked shaky these days. Would he be relegated to wander this world alone through his own selfish actions?

He heard rustling behind him and saw Alison staring up at him as she precariously juggled black bin bags and balancing the bin lid open.

Liam felt his heart pound in his chest as he looked at her. He didn't think he'd ever seen anything so beautiful. He thought back to the way she'd defiantly held his gaze at that bus stop that first time. She was giving him that exact look right now.  There she was standing there taking the bins out in jeans and a t-shirt, bare feet and scraped back hair. The most beautiful soul he'd been privelidged to know. But he'd abused that privilege.

He shook himself out of his daze and took the bin bags from her limp fingers and disposed of them. He squashed the small butterflies in his stomach down as his fingers brushed hers.

"I didn't hear you ring." She said numbly.

Liam shook his head.

"I didn't. I was too nervous to." He replied honestly.

Alison blinked slowly and a weak smile touched her lips.

"The Liam Gallagher I knew never got nervous."

Liam shrugged.

"I'm not the Liam you knew. I mean I am but I'm not."

Alison nodded. She gazed at his face and it unnerved him.

"You grew your hair out. Looks good."

Liam smiled feeling his face get warm.

"Yeah. Do you think when we meet each other after a long time it's just tradition to talk about hair?"

Alison smiled and shook her head remembering how Liam had said almost her exact same words all those years ago when they'd met again in NME.

"Maybe. Tea? Or maybe something stronger?"

Liam nodded.

"Tea's good. I've been off drink and gear for a bit. Clear my head and that. Can't give the fags up though."

Alison watched Liam carefully as they entered her studio together. A sober Liam Gallagher? She never thought she'd see the day.

"And has it cleared your head?"

Liam nodded as he looked around her studio.

"Yeah. I reckon. Been making less stupid decisions I suppose."

Alison smiled.

"Good for you Liam."

He looked more at peace. That erratic light she always saw in his eyes, that unpredictability that danced within him, that made you unsure whether the burning passion would tip over into anger was now calm and still.