DIRT: the grunge diaries (𝒱𝒾𝒸𝓉𝑜𝓇𝒾𝒶'𝓈 𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃)

entry #26 - the spinal tap

⚠️ mentions of drugs ⚠️

'Cavalera... get the fuck out, you ain't on my wishlist tonight'. Bessie speaks, upfrontly addressing the guy who looks like he's taken the last shower of his life back on New Year's Eve of 1987. Looking at him from such a close, cause he's towering in front of us in all of his scarse appeal, I feel safe to guess that his last showed dates back to New Year's Eve of 1985.
I still don't know what the hell this dude wants from my bestie and I. Cause he's looking at Bessie, but he's also looking at me and he's creeping the fuck out of me.

All I know on his account is that he isn't on Bessie's wishlist tonight, although he must've been on it at some point, or they wouldn't speak to eachother on such terms. And I also know that his name is Caballero. Sweet fucking name, reminds me of something I absolutely love. He must be related to the founder of Caballero Mototcycles, I think to myself. I better handle this one carefully, because who knows... maybe he can hook me up with a Caballero Fantic for half the dealer's price. You never know. I want him to get the fuck out 'cause he seems to be a goddamned pervert... but I also want a new bike. How do I handle this? I don't know. I'll just stand here, cigarette between my lips, and let this simmer.

'You and your fire crotch friend are on mine... how do we settle this?' Caballero answers, and my stomach instantly twitches at his words. This creep is calling me a fire crotch, and it's fucking gross. I may have red hair, but I don't box dye my pubic hair 'cause I just don't have any. This piece of information would get him going, if he's into shaved girls, so I keep my mouth shut on it. And I try not to open my mouth and throw up my Christmas 1985 meal, when he so candidly lets Bessie and I know that he wants us. Together. Like in the filthiest, dirtiest, rockstar fantasy. Two girls at once. Eating eachother out on turns. His cock sticking a bit here, and a bit there.

I have been in this position, no pun intended. I've been in a ridiculous amount of girl-girl-guy threesomes. Inez can confirm. I wouldn't do this shit with Bessie, I love and respect her too much to use her as a plaything to satisfy a man. I definitely wouldn't do this with a man who looks like a dirty fuckin' goblin. Not even if he's the actual son of mr. Caballero Motorcycles and he could provide me with discounted bikes for life.

I wouldn't even do this with Sean, even if man showers regularly and actually smells too good to be a drummer. The reason why I wouldn't pull this up, not even with the man I simp so hard for, is much simpler to explain ... if we gotta fuck, it gotta be just the two of us. I wouldn't be willing to share him with anyone. Not even for my enjoyment. 'cause I know that instead of enjoying myself ... I'd be fuming à la Cuntrell all the damn time.

'Caballero... you look like you gotta hit the bike wash as soon as possible '. I chime in, randomly deciding to insult the guy cause that's what I'm the absolute best at. Insulting men in order to send them away. Ask McCready. Ask Cuntrell. Ask Starr. They will all confirm and butthurt a little. Cause they keep trying  to chase me like they believe they are the shit, like they think they are Seattle's elite tier, like they have the most sensational peepees in town ... but I've destroyed their weak masculinity a few times, by rejecting their sexual courtship with a bunch of insults. Not even the son of mr. Caballero Motorcycles is immune to my selective, hateful, spiteful, judgmental Mata Hari spree.

'Calm your tits down, Miki. Your hair grew a bit since the last time I saw you... but doesn't mean you can cock an attitude '. Caballero tries to talk back to me, and I instantly crack up laughing at his words. Bessie instantly follows, and laughs out as loud as me. Well, what can I say. I get mistaken a lot for the Miki he's talking about, Miki Berenyi of that band, Lush. I can't go two days without people calling me 'Miki! Miki!' from across concert backstages, to later ask me why I've gotten a perm and a few tattoos. Only to be real disappointed, when they ask for an autograph and I sign their pieces of paper with a very bland 'Victoria Khair'. I can see a resemblance with Miki, and it flatters me because I believe she's real unique and pretty. I think the resemblance between us has to do with the flame red hair we sport. And the hooded eyes we both have. But besides that, she has a music talent that I will never be able to say I have. And I'm low-key jealous of her for that.