DIRT: the grunge diaries (𝒱𝒾𝒸𝓉𝑜𝓇𝒾𝒶'𝓈 𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃)

entry #137 - I was made for lovin' you

After our minor (I mean, major) misunderstanding, and after some mandatory make up cuddles and smooches, I decided that it would've been about time to tell Sean why the hell I asked him for his bank account number to begin with. Y'know, to prove him that I'm no thief, just a honest girl who needs an American IBAN for honest purposes, and who actually knows how to give half decent, honest answers when she gets asked something. Still all cuddled up with him, soothed, with my heart full of love for him like never before, I sat back on his lap and just basically begged for more cuddles. He hooked me up with them, he tickled my tummy, rubbed my 'baby bump' and made a silly joke on our in utero baby girl Syria kicking back because he just knows 'she's gonna be a drummer'. Cock Soup snapped with jealousy, squawked with disappointment and locked himself in his cage, leaving daddy and I alone on the bed. And nothing... daddy and I laughed quite a bit, and I finally got honest with him. 

I sat him down, and told him that the agency I'll be working for only does payments via wire transfer. Only to American or European bank accounts, and that it was clearly stated in the pre contract I signed this morning. I told him that my bank account is Jordanian, like my shitty passport, and that it's just as useless as my travel document, here in this country. Surprisingly enough, Sean didn't ask me why the heck I signed a contract if I knew I didn't have the basic requirements to fulfil it... y'know, having an American bank account, and all the good stuff. He just gave me a half smile, a cheek rub, and a nod that looked a lot like an unsaid 'okay Jordan/Syria, I trust you I trust you, you must be no thief'. He didn't ask for much else, he didn't judge, he didn't do or say anything, but still I proceeded to tell him that I shouldn't have gotten myself in the position where I would've needed his help or someone else's to do something. I told him that I was about to give up on signing the contract, when my eyes fell on that specific wire transfer policy clause. I told him that I only signed the papers because the casting lady dotes me, and made a very interesting point on how there's always a solution for things, especially when you have an American boyfriend with an American bank account. I told him that I shouldn't have taken him for granted, and I apologised because I acted a little too proud, too impulsive, and too defensive, when he was only trying to be nice to me in his own way. He told me that it's fine, that he knows some people that live off favours, some of them very close to him, and that he knows at least ten people besides him that would most likely get in a mothefucking line to help me. I giggled, knowing that his words were as truthful as they came, the topic slipped away somehow, and we just had some more coffee and cute snuggles. 

It's been ten, maybe fifteen minutes of snuggling, it's 3:30 on the clock now, and we're still bed bound and ignoring the fact that his band's rehearsal is scheduled for half an hour from now. He just doesn't care about his schedule of the day, his only business, at the minute, is rubbing my back and pulling me closer and closer to him, kissing my lips once in every ten seconds. I'm staying way more grounded than him in this, pointing at the alarm clock on the nightstand exactly everytime our lips part, as to tell him that I would never want to stop snuggling with him, but that we gotta go now. But no, he just doesn't seem to care that we should get up and get ready and leave this hotel room. Lowkey, I am getting the feeling that he's doing his virtual best to miss the damn rehearsal, if that's even an option. Sean works in mysterious ways, and this is the proof of it: he loves his job, he loves his job so much that he's been on the road for almost a year now, and that his drum gear trunk features a super fucking sweet, 'I <3 drums' sticker ... but sometimes, he's just the most nonchalant, the less rockstar-esque, and the laziest guy in the world. Especially when he's having a moment, when he's naked or almost naked, possibly bed bound, and there's something he wants at stake. Maybe he wants me? All day long? I'm cool with it... but unlike him, I don't considering missing band rehearsals as an option. He's my favourite drummer in the world, I'm his biggest fan... and trust me, I'm dyna see him bang the fuck out of his drums again ! That'd be the second time I get to see him play, and trust me, I'm stoked and so looking forward to it !