DIRT: the grunge diaries (𝒱𝒾𝒸𝓉𝑜𝓇𝒾𝒶'𝓈 𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃)

entry #63 - steam !

' Say 'pappa', Chicken Fillet. Come on'. I can hear Sean speaking, and although I'm giving him my back, because I'm too busy gossiping with Bessie and our new girly pal Maryann at the moment ... I know that he's talking to Cock Soup. He generally teaches the birdie new curses, insults, or keeps him up to date with some Phellus... I mean, Alice in Chains tour gang madness and drama, so that he can later pick up his mean comments in the least suitable settings... and either disappoint someone, or crack up someone else. But this time he's going in for the full force family man, acknowledging his parenthood of Cock Soup, wanting the birdie to acknowledge their kinship too, and I'm literally swooning. Heart shaped eyes and wide smile on my lips, as I turn to my boys' side, and I realise that they're doing some loving, father and son PDA. Cock Soup is trying to climb on Sean's striped shirt, squawking because he quite can't... and Sean is here, helping him through, and rubbing his feathered tummy.

I...I am fucking melting at the cuteness. My two boys, bonding and doing the cuties together... this may be the sweetest fucking thing I've ever witnessed. I was feeling like a Seattle meanie and dirty, dirty rock n roll girlie, gossiping with my pals and all, but now I'm feeling like I'm a full blown mom, and I'm catching a glimpse of my baby daddy teaching our child how to walk. Sweet. Except that it's sweeter, because Cock Soup ain't Sean's biological child, he's met me when I was a mamma already, Cock Soup already knew how to fly, and he still loves the birdie like he's his own son !

'Sean, did you go through labour with that one?' Bessie comment, pointing at Sean and my bird doing the cuties. She's having a good laugh at their mutual sympathy, and she's throwing in a necessary and much awaited hint of Sean slander. My best friend and I agree on many things, and the fact that Cock Soup is the coolest kid in all of Seattle is one of them. The fact that Sean and I are ooooh so perfect together is another one of 'em. But like Sean said, this morning at the breakfast buffet, before Cuntrell began to call me fat to trigger my eating disorder... this relationship between us is a 'and then there were three' kinda one. Sean and I are pretty much inseparable, and my bird is the closest as it can get to a child, to us. He speaks like us, he loooves to pick up Sean's words especially, we take care of him and give him snacks, he meddles into our smooching sessions, he has a knack for knowing when Sean is horny, and sits on his lap 'cause he's a bit jealous of his mamma... and as I've said before, we make sure he's asleep before we fuck. Cock Soup has always been and will always be the coolest kid in all of Seattle... but with a new parent like Sean, he'll be the coolest, meanest, rock n'rollest parrot in the entire fucking world. I pulled him out of his egg so that he could live, and Sean adopted him so that he'll fly like a fucking drone ! And hopefully, one day he's gonna be the first drummer parrot in the world. Awwwwww!

We are definitely much better parents than Cuntrell could ever be. Except that Cuntrell is gonna be a dad by next summer, while Sean and I will keep using condoms and doing the cockatiel only parents for a good, solid time.

'He's my spitting image, ain't he?' Sean answers, more like he asks for validation, as he sits the bird well over his shoulder, and pokes his beak. Cock Soup squawks, and beaks and pulls Sean's nose ring... more or less like he does with me, at least five times a day. I am that baby bird's mama, and I know that pulling the nose plug is a sign of affection, in Cock Soup lingo.

I am swooning. Swooning and giggling my heart out, 'cause Sean is looking at the birdie, eyes narrowed and deadass serious look all over his face, like he really fucking believes that they do look alike. I'm afraid to say that I don't see a resemblance, but hey there... they're the fucking cutest and funniest  father & son couple EVER, and I can't take it away from them !

'Spitting? Spitting instead of swallowing your boyfriend is rude as fuck, Cherry'. Layne, man of mighty, funny as hell words, speaks... and I get the hysterics at his comment. It's like the chain effect 101, whenever us cool, humorous Alice people have a conversation: someone says something funny, then there comes someone else picking it up in the most twisted way ever, and turning it into a big, big pun. I thought we were talking about Cock Soup being the spitting image of Sean, but we're apparently talking about the fact that I should swallow 'my boyfriend's cum, instead of spitting it. And y'know what's funny, about this comment? That Sean ain't my boyfriend, if not in my dreams exclusively. But y'know what's even funnier? That silly ass Sean looks like he's got his shit together ... but he can't shoot the shot straight, no matter how hard he tries to. If I am to tell him I want it in my mouth, he's gonna blow it all over my shoelaces. Not of the shoes I'm wearing, but of the shoes on the other corner of the room. He may be clumsy, and he is, but now I'm horny. All that talking about swallowing his cum has gotten me aaaall hot and bothered, and very in the mood for milking him for what he's worth. So I let him know how I'm feeling by turning his side, crossing my legs, and sensually biting my lower lip. I'm basically giving him the eyes, and he's giving 'em back to me... little, sarcastic, brown and definitely horny, in front of our entire gang. All of this, while he's doing the unbothered, and rubbing his feathered son's tummy and laughing under his breath.