DIRT: the grunge diaries (𝒱𝒾𝒸𝓉𝑜𝓇𝒾𝒶'𝓈 𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃)

entry #82 - heart of stone

'Brother, what are we doing tonight... besides throwing tables at fuckers looking at my girl?' The part Irishman sitting in reverse on the saddle of my Bonneville speaks, and I shrug like his words don't bother me at all. But in reality, they do. I can't see him in the face, I'm giving him my back and my sights are all on Layne, but I know him well and I am aware he is grinning like a clowny psycho and cracking his knuckles. I know that if he's asking Layne what the plans for the rest of the night are, it's because he's well aware we don't have a date anymore and we gotta keep ourselves busy tonight, one way or another. But, very differently from me, he aims to be in the same environment as me, when I'd just like to stay as far away from him as possible. We both know what we want, and it's very hard to tell who will be the winner of this relentless session of stonewalling. Only time will tell, to say it à la Asia.

But I can sigh with relief here. I thought I'd lost him, when I dared to walk off, bounced against Layne's shoulder, and the frontman of Alice in Chains joined the crime scene with us. But he's still hellbent on me, he's most likely checking me out while I'm giving him my back... and he still wants me. Despite all bullshit, despite the hardship, despite the game I'm playing. He still wants me ! Success ! I haven't lost him, not yet at least. And I reckon I'm a fucking lucky girl for that. Lucky, sure, but also mad as fuck.

Back to the plans for the rest of the night, I've heard Starr mentioning hitting an after hours club, à la rock band on the road, and I think that's what we're gonna do tonight. Maybe the piece of news hasn't reached Sean's ear, because he was too busy doing the elusive in his hotel room and doing the pit babe on my saddle to be all caught up with what's cooking in the Alice camp... but still. He knows we're all going out together tonight, the whole gang with no exceptions made, and he knows he's gonna have to toss people into tables, if they dare to get too friendly with me. Classic Sean. He gets mad when someone tries to woo at me, and I've got nothing on him when he's mad. He only gets madder when I try to talk him out of brawls, it keeps him going instead of making him want out of 'em. I love my short tempered, insufferable knight... but isn't pulling a fight because of me... just a little bit too unnecessary? Especially now that we're no longer the perfect lovebirds that we were until one hour ago ?

'You're doing Cherry. I'll be watching and telling you how to do her good'. Layne answers, and my cheeks go cherry red at his comment. More like, my first reaction at his words is admiration, because he hasn't given an actual answer to Sean's question, and I love him for that. But hey, he's tryna get more ideas in my mind, isn't he ? Everyone in the Alice camp knows that Sean and I fuck, but no one shows interest in our sexy endeavours the way Layne does. Not even my girly pals, who are all caught up in full detail with our naughty trysts. Layne has been cracking jokes on how he wants to be a witness to his drummer and I having sex for the last solid twenty-four hours, always staying humorous and not creepy at all through his avances. And I'm actually very okay with having an audience when I fuck, especially a trusted one man audience like Layne. Sean and I were doing the dirty, dirty foreplaying, hands all over and swapping spit, in front of Bess and Layne, at the Casino in Green River. Layne was smacking his lap against Bessie's bum, she was digging it, and the general horniness was keeping us all going. It made me want to pull a joint sex escapade, at some point. I think we all wanted to, frankly enough. And if I didn't bring the initiative it up to them, it was because I didn't want to go down on history books as a sick minded whore. And because Cuntrell chimed in and called me fat while I was at my horniest.

But hey, if Sean wants to do me under Layne's gaze and under his directives, I'm aaaaall good with it. I don't know why, I've never done such a thing before, but I think that it'd get me off like the little whore that I am. Sean can fuck me good, he always fucks me excellently, every inch of me loves every inch of him and vice versa. Layne has got a few golden words to himself, he is no creep, and he has the ability to get in my mind like noone else. He's seen me fucking his girlfriend, I fucked his girlfriend on and off screen, multiple times, so I got no taboos with the man. Layne's pep talk and Sean's drilling at the same time would have me dripping and would make me go feral. But ... we will have to do it another day, I suppose. I am fucking mad at Sean now. If I gotta have him in a foreseeable future, when I'm less mad at him, I want him gentle and loving. Like only he can be. After that, and after we make up, we can do the horny and get a few twisted fantasies off our minds ...