DIRT: the grunge diaries (𝒱𝒾𝒸𝓉𝑜𝓇𝒾𝒶'𝓈 𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃)

entry #94 - حب

Okay, so ... I'm still here, room 317 bound, horny as hell, very confused, and very determined to have Sean sit on the fucking edge of the bed, so that I can crawl on his lap and begin my teasing assault on him. I know that I always have to win him, even when there's sex at stake, because that's how we both like it: never predictable. He loves chasing and being chased, he just don't do going traight to the point, he wants his everything complicated and chaotic as hell... but this morning, he ain't playing hard to get like his usual, he's playing flat out unattainable.

When he plays hard to get, he lets me touch and tease him as much as I please, we make out for the longest time ... until he eventually gives into me and we finally do the deed. He is the undisputed champion of keeping his peepee in his pants and of letting his hands wander all over me big time, but this morning he doesn't even want to touch me. His one hand is on his crotch, his other hand is in the middle of my chest, keeping me from assaulting him like I did not so long ago ... and man, I'm perplexed as hell. I get it, he doesn't wanna fuck me while I ain't hundred percent sober, it's very thoughtful and respectable of him, he's handling me with total class and chill, and I love him for that. But I promise that I'm more present to myself than he thinks I am. I can think straight, I can speak English although the urge to reverse to mother tongue is strong as hell, I know what I want... and all of this pushing and pulling aside, what I want right now is him. On top of me, fucking me gentle and loving until we both can take it no more.

I bite my lower lip, and I somehow find the bravado to remove his hand off his lap to replace it with mine. I wink, getting a good feel of his clad, hardened cock, and he growls and furrows his brows at my horniness driven forwardness. I attempt to slide my hand into the waist band of his ugly checkered boxers, but before I can wrap it around his cock and give him a little, loving handy, he removes my hand and he pins my both hands behind my back. He must've grown up watching too many police TV shows, 'cause damn, this is giving wannabe cop, and he's looking and acting like he knows what he's doing. I don't know why's that, he's just trying to make me unable to use my hands so that I will eventually call it quits with groping him, but I find this attempt to keep me tame deliriously hot.

Help me, I'm this close to hyperventilating. I wanted it gentle and loving until a minute ago, and a part of me still wants to make love with him... but after this move, hands behind my back and horniness skyrocketing, I want him rough as fuck. I want to be tied up and fucked silly, possibly from behind, and I wouldn't mind a few spanks. I want to be unable to use my hands, I only want to able to use my mouth to blow him while he takes breaks from pounding my pussy. Yes, I'm a slut, very much so, and my sluttiness varies a lot in intensity, according to how he handles me at any given time. Now he's just doing the good, thoughtful non boyfriend boyfriend, respecting me and my body although I'm making myself look like a mess for him... and if I were legit, I'd be snuggling under the messed up sheets with him, because he's so fucking sweet he makes me wanna cuddle away the rest of this day. But I'm tipsy, and very hellbent on wanting him inside of me above everything else. I'm standing on my one leg, because I'm too busy wrapping the other one around his lap, and pulling him as close as possible to me. The position doesn't allow me to do much, I'm feeling awkwardly stiff, awkwardly unable to keep my balance, and the height gap between us ain't helping... but still, feeling his hardness between my legs lights my fire just a little bit more. I slowly grind myself against his bulge, while he keeps my hands well pinned against my back, as he tries to immobilise me and stop me from doing something he thinks I'll regret, when I'll sober up. I'm biting my lower lip, trying my best to make myself irresistible to him, but he's smiling like he's hundred percent unbothered by my assault. It's his beautiful, pearly white smile against my bitten lower lip now, and I don't know how it's possible... but he's the one winning. And I can't let him win this by doing nothing at all, fuck's sake.