Already Home // Harry Styles

Half Of My Heart

15th June 2022, Manchester

The Manchester venue is excellent. They have us set up in this room with giant windows and an outside balcony area to watch the show. There's food and drink available all day. It's girls night tonight, which right now I couldn't be more grateful for.

Taylor has shown up with her cowboy hat yet again, a cute little green co ord , adidas gazelles and a I love Harry baby tee on. She's only 5 ft, curvy with this wild head of curly dark hair and right now she looks so adorable I can't cope. Her cheeks are flushed pink from excitement and it makes me happy knowing I can give her these experiences. She seemed to be physically vibrating from how excited she is.

I'm far more casual, simple in a floral sun dress and sandals. My own dark hair is pulled up into a ponytail. It's hot as England can get today and I'm very grateful for the air conditioning inside the room. Not something you get used to wanting in England to be honest.

We were already sat at a table, Aperol Spritz in hand when Anne and Gemma walk in. I don't know what it is, but as soon as Anne walks into a room, I feel instant relief. That women has gotten me through some intense times. It's not a stretch to say I wouldn't be here today if she wasn't by my side.

I stand to greet her, being enveloped in one of those gorgeous comforting mum hugs, you know the kind. It makes me feel like a little girl again, every time.

"Addy! How are you darling?" She asks straight away, pulling back to look at my face but her hands still gripping the tops of my arm.

"I'm good" I smile, hoping she doesn't see how it doesn't quite reach my eyes "how are you?"

"I'm great, it's good to see you" she smiles softly, leaning in to me "and we'll talk later about whatever's going on here" she adds quietly. Trust a mum to see right through. She knows. She knows when my smile is forced. She knows when my head is full. She's always just known. I love her dearly but sometimes I wish she couldn't see through me so well.

I introduce her to Taylor, who is sweet and animated and I can tell Anne instantly likes her. It's hard not to like Taylor. She's a genuine kind soul. That's why I gravitated to her so much my first year of uni. She took me under her wing and has never let me go since. We've been through everything together. Break ups, make ups, getting each other ready for first dates, holding back each others hair as we vomit from too much cider and cheap shots. She's just one of those girls who you would trust with your life you know?

Anne, always the gracious one tells Taylor how much she's heard about her and asks her questions about herself and her family. After Taylor spinning tales of her hometown of Scotland, Anne expertly guides her to Gemma without Taylor even realising she was getting rid of her to leave us alone.

"How do you always manage to do that so effortlessly?" I laugh, a wide grin on my face.

Anne grinned back at me, linking her arm through mine and steering us to the outside balcony. It was still early, the crowds having not been let in yet so we were alone.

"It's a gift that comes with age my love. Now, tell me what's going on Addy".

Anne's blunt and to the point when she needs to be. There's no bullshitting her, she will see straight through it.

I let out a sigh , all traces of the laughter and smiles quickly gone. Both of my hands rub against my face as I contemplate how to go about this. On one hand, Anne is like a mother to me, she would listen and support me through anything I told her and make me feel like everything will be okay again. On the other hand, we are at her only sons homecoming gig and I don't want to be the one to put a downer on it.