DANGEROUSLOVE ™

31

HUNESTI MARIE HILL

* NOW , im tellnya now ion know NUN abt no funeral so bare widd me aight . *

" we've gathered here today to not only celebrate a life , but to send a young life to the heaven gates ." the pastor spoke

" we are here today to pay our tribute and our respect to a man of god , Prince Benard willams ."

" that nigga was not no man of god " mani said

making ty , and ryek bust out laughing as well as mali .

i just looked at them these fools was cutting a fool in this damn church

  " people from his family and people from his community gathered , these people who have respected Prince and have loved him as a friend. " the pastor continued

we was at his momma's church , i got to meet her and she was nice .

a very gentle woman , she knew the life her son was in and she was taking his death hard

she told me she felt as if she failed as a mother .

i just daydreamed as the pastor kept talking , he was now reading bible scripts wrapping this thing up .

after he was done family and friends were gojng to be allowed to give speeches and then they were going to carry the casket out .

it wasn't an open casket funeral , i really didn't know why i wanted to see prince at peace .

the loud voice in my head had stopped letting me know that it was time for the speeches .

his mother insisted that i do one but i couldn't .

" today im laying my one and only child to rest , i loved prince with all my heart . " she said as she paused

" i- i- i feel like i failed as a mother " she as she struggled she was hurt and i could tell

" that's all right take ya time " someone from the audience yelled out

before i knew it i felt tears drop form my face .

i couldn't do this , i got up exiting the church as quickly and quietly as possible .

when i got out i stood on the church's step , i felt an anxiety attack coming on i took deep breath's as i was taught but i couldn't stop this one .

" huneti , breathe , breathe .. it's alright " i heard a familiar voice but i couldn't tell who it was

everything was blurry . 

as i took deep breathes and gave my body time to calm down i slowed my breathing down and eventually i was okay .

as my vision cleared i seen that it was my brother chevo checking on me .

" you good ?" he asked

i nodded

" yea , can you take me home ?" i asked as i wiped my tears .

" yea cmon " he said as he helped me up .

i knew that prince's death would hurt but i didn't know it would hurt like this .

i knew him for about 7-8 months but it felt like way longer .

our chemistry was there and i think the thing that was hurting me the most was that i watched him die .

that's life changing especially watching a mf you care about killing themself .

me n chevo had made it to the car where he opened the door for me .

i got in putting my seat belt on , i got situated and laid my head on the window .

i let my thoughts roam while my mind was blank i was thinking abt stuff but i wasn't . 

the drive back to town was about an 1/2 long so i figured i'd take a nap .

i needed that right now .

-

it had been a week since prince's funeral , i've accepted and i think that it was time to let it go .

i'd connected with his momma and let her know that if she ever needed anything she could call me and she let me know it was vice versa .

i was back on my feet now , i had been consistent with my therapy me and scoob were good as well as me and all my family .

my life was finally at a cooling point , i was getting to be happy i mean prince's death would forever effect me .

but we weren't official and we weren't on the best of terms and the things my father told me didn't exactly make it any better but he was dead now .

and i figured it was time to put that in the past .

today i was going to scoob's house he invited me over to spend the night , but he said that he was taking me out .

i was supposed to been over there but i just now was getting it .

it was a sunday , a chill day for him so most likely he was waiting for me .

i had took a shower last night so all i had to do was do sumn to my head and put some clothes on and get over there .

i decided i'd do an updo with my hair , and i found a cream body suit that i was going to pair with my ricks .