NIGHTMARE

chapter 28

Y/n's POV.

The car ride home was what one would describe as unpleasant.

For me, the world reeled in and out of circles; drinking wasn't my brightest idea, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone in large amounts.

It really surprised me how these Bontens could drink as much as they did and take the drugs they did without it having any kind of obvious effect on them like it did on me.

In truth, I hadn't even wanted to go to dinner; I was tired and done with everything.

Quite frankly, I was embarrassed to have been kidnapped so easily and left so dependent on Mikey.

The last thing I needed was for him to think that I needed him more than he needed me.

I certainly didn't need him, nor did I like him in the slightest.

He was a coldhearted killer who murdered with a smile plastered on his face and without regret, like an animal hunting his prey only to strike in the most brutal and gut-wrenching way possible.

But then again, so was I.

In that moment of struggle with Kisaki, the infamous 9-millimeter gun in my hand felt so natural that my finger craved the trigger as I looked down the barrel into his begging and helpless eyes.

For a split second after his death, I felt satisfied and validated.

What was wrong with me?

I wasn't a monster like everyone else in the criminal organization; I wasn't some kind of homicidal monster with childhood trauma.

Now, all I had to show for myself were a bunch of burns and bruises that lined my skin, making me feel like a helpless and wounded bird, unable to do anything but watch the world go by.

It was humiliating to have people stare at me and comment; I had wanted to bitch slap Ran across the face back at the restaurant.

"Y/n," oh, here we go again, another awkward conversation with Sano Manjiro, the socially deprived man whose conversational skills were pretty much below those of a child.

His short fuse and temper made any kind of interaction like a ticking time bomb; the longer you talked, the more likely it was that he would snap.

"What?" I replied, mumbling as I watched the buildings fly by out the window. I had gotten somewhat used to his reckless driving.

"I'm, uh, I'm well." He started as I rolled my eyes and huffed.

"Sorry?" I finished for him; he nodded and tapped his hands on the steering wheel.

"Yes! That's it." I let my jaw drop as I tried to turn further away from him.

"You're just sad, you know that, right?" I made eye contact with him; he looked confused and slightly offended. "You can't even say sorry, and that is just so pathetic; I bet you've never even said it before, which is just so urgh!"

"You know what's sad? The fact that you are so ungrateful and hard to please! I have just taken you out to dinner at one of the most expensive restaurants in Italy!" he started before I held a finger up at him, telling him to stop talking.

"I never asked for you to do any of that!" I argued. He looked pissed, slamming his foot down on the accelerator and swerving in and out of the traffic around us.

"Slow down! You're driving like a fucking maniac!" I screamed, gripping one hand to the door and the other holding the seat.

He just laughed and sped up some more. I gasped.