TOPLINE 💥🔥
(7 members.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
bigbang
@standay6 @j.one
are you guys going to the party tonight?
please know that you can stay back if you want
no one will force you
falicks
yeah itd be great if u 2 came but if ur still feeling shit then pls stay at dorms :((
j.one
no its fine
ive made up my mind
its time i moved on
im an idol and i have things to do
i shouldnt let this impact me
bigbang
can we move this to dms jisung?
also seungmin? are you going?
standay6
yeah
im sticking with jeongin though for emotional support in case anything goes wrong
bigbang
really good idea
thanks i.n
loafofbread
i didnt agree to this but sure
~~
foive years old
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
chan.hyung
jisung
i know you suffer from anxiety and a bit of ptsd
dont be mad at seungmin but he told me a bit about ur past
if ur angry then be mad at me, i was the one who asked him
so really if youre still unwell
just take a day off, yeah?
goquokka
yeah ik but
i dont want to disappoint anyone
esp our fans
were going to be filming a bit of content tonight too right?
chan.hyung
youre on a hiatus so its fine if you dont film
of course if you want to go, you can and just not go on camera
but theres going to be a lot of people
im afraid it might overwhelm you
considering youre still recovering
goquokka
im just trying to act like it doesnt matter
and then it might actually not matter anymore
its a psychological trick
chan.hyung
ah right you studied psychology
im very impressed jisung haha
again
your choice
but know that you can always reach out to us yeah?
goquokka
no it just seems like a burden
i really dont want to
talk
i dunno but like
i find it physically hard to just express my feelings and emotions
fuck that sounded so cringe and attention seeking
im sorry
chan.hyung
please dont be
dont ever think talking about your feelings is pick me
okay?
i want you to talk it out
it helps relieve the stress
if you studied psychology im sure you know better than i do
do what you learnt
practise it with yourself
goquokka
easy said hard to do
im just
idk the word for it
afraid?
im scared to ask for help
ugh yeah okay that sounds so fucking
ill stop
chan.hyung
jisung
dont say that
i care for you thats why im here
maybe you dont trust me 100% yet and i understand that
but dont be scared to ask for help
would it be easier if i came over to your dorms right now and talked in person?
i think seungmin went out with hyunjin to the police station for an interrogation
goquokka
you dont have to if you dont want to
chan.hyung
i insist
i want to help
ill try my best although i might not achieve it
im going to support you through it
yeah?
goquokka
alright
thank you
Awhile later, Chan entered Jisung's room and he frowned seeing Jisung lying on the bed, staring at his ceiling hopelessly. While yes, Jisung is rather psychotic and his friend's entire case was his fault, all the things he had talked about to Chan; anxiety, difficulty expressing himself, all that.. All that was still true.
"Hey.. How're you feeling?" Chan asked gently as he sat down next to Jisung. It wasn't particularly warm so he pulled the blankets over Jisung's body as he looked at him.
"Shit. I mean, fine. Ugh, fuck!"
"No, it's fine. You can feel shit. It's okay."
"I.. I'm so sorry Channie hyung but I.. It's obviously just my mind overthinking but sometimes I even doubt you. Do you genuinely care for me? I mean like.. Of course you do but. Y'know, thoughts just sometimes happen. I just feel like I can't do anything right.. All the time. When I look at our songs.. Our performances. Our music videos. I feel like I stand out too much. In a bad way. I just.. I feel so drained."
"It's all fine Jisung. Everyone feels like that at some point in their lives. You just need to let it out. What you're doing right now, talking to me, is great. Say anything you want and I'll listen. Okay? And if you feel like crying, that's alright too. I won't leave until I know for sure that you've at least improved slightly or felt better."
"You're so kind.. I don't deserve to have you in my life. I feel like I don't deserve anything. I want love, I want to be cared for, I want to feel special. But a part of me tells me that I don't fucking deserve it. Ugh, this is so stupid.. I'm sorry for wasting your time"
"You can sit here and talk with me for as long as you want. Anything that's on your mind.. I want to listen. Any time you need in the future too.. Give me a call or a text and I'll come over as soon as I can. Then we can talk about everything. What do you want right now? What can I do to make you feel better? Do you wanna grab some fresh air or would you rather just keep talking and I can listen?"
"I.. I dunno. It's kinda cold outside so probably stay in.. I don't know if it's just me but every time people gather.. I just feel even more lonely. Even with the rest of our group.. I don't know and I don't want to know. I just feel so insecure.. About everything. My face, my body, my clothes, my hair, my voice, myself. I wanna say that I feel happy but things just doesn't go like that sometimes. I promised that I would keep trying but honestly.. I feel like giving up."
"The world is always changing, Jisung. You can't predict the outcome of anything. One thing leads onto another then another and so on. Sometimes the things that happen will not go your way, that's correct. But instead of giving up, we need to try change with it. Adapt to it. If you don't like it, make yourself like it. And if you can't, change it yourself. It's your life and you can live it however you want. Like everyone says, if thing's don't go right, go left!"
"Yeah, thanks. Really. You were right, getting it off my chest makes it feel a lot better. You're always there for me.. For everyone in fact. You're helping and supporting all of us. But how about you, Channie hyung? No one ever checks on you. Are you okay?"
"Let's save that for another day, alright? If you really are going to the party, we should start dressing up and getting ready."
"Alright.."
a.n
chan is the sweetest person alive no one can change my mind
YOU ARE READING
˚ ❛ DRUNK DAZED ❜ ˚ ;: Minsung
Fanfiction"In a world with no rules, everything has been turned upside down." [Modern AU] Jisung, a member of a famous group mistakingly messages one of the lighting technicians, mistaking him for his group mate while he was drunk. Minho thought that an apolo...
