Fading to Black // Kirk Hammett

22. Birthday Girl

A/N - Hi! Sorry this chapter may be a bit lengthy, I didn't know if it'd make sense to put everything in different chapters. So I just tried to put it all in this one. Also sorry if this is too fucking dramatic lmao.

June 20th, 1984

-

I woke up to Dave Jumping on top of me, and kissing my forehead.

"Happy birthday, shit-head." He looked at me and smiled.

I shook my head to myself, and smiled back at him, kissing his cheek.

It was my 19th birthday today, I tried put a fake face on for Dave, and seem at least a little happy, but I wasn't. I felt that unbearable pit of sadness, I've been trying to stay sober for him all week.

I felt like shit, and withdraw was hitting me like a fucking truck, but I didn't shoot up. So I guess that's all that mattered in Dave's eyes.

Deep down, part of me prayed that Kirk would call, but I knew it more than likely wouldn't happen.

"So what's the plan for today, hm?" He smiled as he remained laying on top of me, holding my hand.

"Oh, I dunno. I haven't thought much about it." I shrugged.

"You gotta do something, it's your birthday." He stated, rolling his eyes.

"I could go shopping or something I guess, I want some new band-tees." I said unsurely.

"That's lame, but if that's what you wanna do knock yourself out." He shrugged, rolling off of me.

I held out my hand and smiled sarcastically at him. He rolled his eyes, digging into his pockets and pulling out my keys. He dropped them into my hand, and walked out of the room smirking.

I took a shower and walked into my closet, grabbing my favorite pair of baggy jeans and slipping them on. I rummaged through my band-tees for a few moments, looking for one I wanted to wear.

I stumbled upon my old Metallica shirt with the Ride The Lightning album cover on it. I frowned to myself, and felt a few tears brewing in my eyes.

It's not that I didn't talk to any of the Metallica guys anymore, in fact I talked to Cliff and James almost daily. Since I've been sober at least, I didn't want them to know about my addiction.

Unfortunately seeing it brings back more memories of Kirk than anything. I sighed and hung the shirt back up, grabbing a Led-Zeppelin one instead.

I walked downstairs to see that Dave was no longer home. I shrugged it off and walked out to my car that was parked in his driveway. I slid into the drivers seat and drove off.

-

I spent about two hours walking around inside the mall, I got bored in there and didn't find much. I found a few T-shirts but that was about it.

I decided to walk around the shopping center outside, looking in all the cute tiny shops.

I ended up walking by a small store with a few televisions in the window. I almost walked past it, until I saw that goddamn curly on the screen out of the corner of my eye.

I stopped in my tracks, and turned to face the TV. Kirk and the rest of the guys were at some interview, and the camera was currently focused on him.

He looked so happy, the same as I remember him being if not happier. I felt an unbearable wave of sadness was over me. My stomach tied into a knot. Maybe I really was holding him back. He looked so much better off without me.

I felt hot tears brewing in my eyes, I bit down on my lip in attempt to quiet the overwhelming emotional pain washing over me right now.

I ran to my car, and locked myself in there, breaking down in tears. I don't know why but it got to me. I felt my heart ripping out all over again.