Fading to Black // Kirk Hammett

29. Biggest Mistake Of My Life

September 15th, 1984

-

I woke up with nerves swarming around in my stomach. I was so fucking nervous it was hard to function. I haven't actually seen Kirk since he left for tour back in February, and I haven't spoken to him since a few days after my overdose.

I just didn't know how he'd react, and my fear was that it wouldn't be good. I was worried he'd maybe start yelling at me or something, and to be honest I don't think I could handle Kirk yelling at me.

Call me a pussy for that, but it's true.

I let out a deep shaky breath, before slowing sitting up, and lifting myself out of bed. I decided to take a shower since I was borderline disgusting. I had smeared makeup all over my face, greasy hair, and tear stained clothes. I looked in the mirror, and I actually looked horrible.

I quickly took a hot shower, letting the steaming water run down my face. Once I got out, I let my hair fall into it's natural, hazelnut brown, ringlet curls. I threw on an old Kill 'Em All T-shirt that I had lying in my closet, along with some jeans.

I slowly walked down the stairs, seeing Cliff on the couch, watching TV while waiting for me. He averted his attention from the TV, to me.

"You ready?" He questioned, as he got up from the couch he'd sunken into.

"I guess so." I sighed, the nerves getting so bad that I felt like I was gonna puke any second.

"Don't be nervous, kid. It's gonna be fine I promise." He reassured me, putting his hand on my shoulder, and leading me out the door.

He threw me my car keys. I ran to my car, slipping into the drivers seat, as I started the engine.

Cliff slid into the passenger side, putting in a Led-Zeppelin tape I had lying next me, before we drove off.

-

Fifteen or so minutes later, we'd finally gotten to James's place. My nerves increased with every passing moment.

Cliff got out of the car, and motioned his head at me to do the same. I swallowed hard, and hesitantly got out of my car, trailing after Cliff as he walked up to the door.

"It's gonna be okay, I promise." He chuckled at my nervous state.

Cliff opened the door, and mindlessly walked in, then down the basement stairs.

I heard an eruption of laughter, and loud talking from James and Lars once Cliff had went downstairs. The only voice I didn't hear, was Kirk's. Partially leading me to think he wasn't there.

"Come on!" I heard Cliff shout up the stairs.

I finally heard that sweet voice of his. It was quiet, but I heard him ask Cliff who he was talking to.

He was here.

I swallowed hard, and took a deep breath. I slowly crept my way down the stairs, and poked my head around the corner so I could see them, before coming all the way down.

"Hi." I muttered awkwardly.

I looked immediately to Kirk, who was staring at me, stopped dead in his tracks. James and Lars both cheesily grinned at one another.

Kirk sat his guitar down. Then practically sprinted over to me, engulfing me in a tight hug, which nearly knocked me over.

He clung onto me as if I'd disappear at any given second, and buried his head in the crook of my neck.

"I missed you so fucking much." He mumbled shakily.

I wanted to burst into tears, not sad ones though, more like cries of relief. The second I felt him wrap his arms around me, that feeling of miserable emptiness faded away.