This War Of Mine 2

Ruminate

December 26th.

Just a few more days left for new year, and then 3 months of my last year in college, then a year of internship and then job?

~

Me-Dudes. Anything up for future?

Adv-Don't ask about it, bro. I seriously will flunk last few months and have not an idea on what I'm gonna do.

Shre- Three more months ya both. Three more. And then what?!

Me-Same doubts.

Adv-Nerds. Can we not discuss such unhealthy topics such as this one? It's making me nauseous. -,-

Shre- Sam, about the New Year?

Adv-Now this is getting nice. XD

Me-Yeah, Leo's having a party. Coming?

Shre- Leo?!?!?!

Adv-Oh yeah! I'm in!

Me-Yeah! Shreya, he isn't the same guy. :)

Shre-Join me in,. but wait. Adv, do you find something different with the way Sam talks about the guy? :P

Adv- *claps hands* Hell yeah!! Sam, you keep supporting that guy, anything we gotta know iykwim xD

What is with these two idiots? Nothing like that, I can't. There's absolutely nothing like that!

Me-No. There's no shit like that. Plis.

Shre- Kay mate chill.

Nothing like that.

~

"Hey Sam? Sam!"

"Yeah?"

"Okay? You seem engrossed in that set of articles"

"Not articles. Just job offers."

"Job?"

"Yeah, I've to start working after three months, Leo!"

"Oh right. I can help, if you want."

"How?"

"I talked to dad. He is still pissed, but there is quite a lot of improvements. So I'll move out after New Year. And yeah, you know my dad is influential so I can tell him about you if you get me the required papers for applying a job."

"Are you serious?!"

"Yes!" He smiled.

LEO

She threw her hands behind my neck and gave me, I should say, quite a tight hug.

She is happy, really is. And I'm happy that I can help her this way.

~

"So, New Year, that party, how are the arrangements going?"

"Fine I guess. The DJ is set, the fireworks are almost ready and then the streamers were too mainstream, so we decided to do something different."

"Different? How so?"

"You'll see. Oh and, anybody from your side coming?"

"Yeah. Advika and Shreya with Varun, probably."

"Cool, so I think I'll go?"

"Okay. See ya"

Leo. Ask. Her. Now.

SAMANTHA

He got up and walked forward dubiously. Stopped, walked again, stopped.

He turned around, and gobbled out "Can we go out for dinner?"

Dinner? Oh, well. It's just dinner!!

And it might be the right time for me to give him his late-Christmas present.

"Yeah, why not?"

"Okayy."

~

The rest of the day was miserable.

When I was taking out Leo's gift, fell that sweater, that I cried on the day I lost him. It reawakened every single emotion in me.

Despite how much ever I smile, how much ever I party and go out on dates, he isn't with me.

I miss him. I miss all of him so much, that the pain has made me find pleasure in it. This loneliness, this eerie silence with nothing but what used to be the sounds of our heartbeats, in the same cages. All those times when I wanted nothing else but his arms holding me. His warmth was enough for me to thrive through anything. Sapan, that friggin asshole, he left me to this dead life. I miss his every action, the way he smirks, laughs? His laughs are to die for. His lips? The magic and mojo he had in them, and the way the words spill out of his mouth. The fights? The stupid, stupid fights, that temporarily kills us both from the inside, feeding on alcohol and ruining the entire day. We couldn't let go of each other, because, sometimes, the things that make us sad is what made us happy too. The mutual feeling always got us back up on our feet. Always. We loved each other so much, I still do, so so much. Everytime he kissed me, it felt new, like for the first time ever, all over again. It's not every guy who can do that. Those butterflies I get, the tickles at my midriff, the way he effortlessly dirty talks, and makes me bite my lip so much that it starts bleeding, the way my heart fosters wings, that kindle happiness in me. The way I feel, like a flower blossoming, the petals live and bright, the blooms kindling calmness, yet pleasure. Our profound love, his notes, the dates, the karaoke, the proposal, the banner, the voice notes, the texts, the every single shitting thing he left me devoid of!

I'm choking to death everyday, without you right beside me. It can't be outrun, outmatched, the fact that you aren't here.

He lied to me, his white lie, of staying with me forever. This is forever? No.

I sold my soul for this? For him to wash his hands on everything in this world? This pain and agony, and this extensive loneliness creeping into me and making me scared of light all over again. This feeling, the walls almost choking me withing,moving in closer, claustrophobia cutting my breath.

~

The doorbell rang.

LEO

Third time.

"Samantha!! Open up!"

Fifth time. I was going to break the door when she opened it and threw herself on me.

"Hey, you okay?" Her eyes looked upto me, bloodshot, and sad.

"Sam, what happened?"

I took her to her room, and saw a sweater, few notes and now I know what happened.

I hugged her closer, "It's okay. He's always with you. Okay?"

"Mmm." she sniffed against my shirt.

"I'll be here, take rest. You need it."

~

I folded and kept the sweater back. My hand reached for the notes and I wanted to read it, but I had to stop myself. He'd written it for her, with all his love, I can say, with the long number of pages it goes.

I used to envy them. Envy their happiness with, what I though, the broken relationship they had.

Unless I realized, even when I thought I could break it, I was proved wrong by the perfect love they had.

It is sad that it happened to him, but I know Samantha will survive.

She will.

Wouldn't she?