This War Of Mine 2

Revelations

People.
They are the most toughest to decipher. They are the morse codes of emotions. It is a tendency that we often remain skeptical about judging a person.
My, I'd been terribly wrong there.
~
Shawn, the guy wasn't anything I'd imagined him to be.
He was by far, a really nice guy, with a cocky attitude and a delightful humor. 
What I'd thought, he'd be a really bleh sort of guy and well, my jumpy behavior towards adding more cliques really was a drive to text him in the first place.
Gee, he was an absolute revelation.
~
Day in and day out, we started talking. It was like he always had something to keep me interested.
You know that sort of spark people get?
Exactly.
I sit with him during recess and also in Lit.
I'd say, he taught me quite a lot.
Quite lots, that he became my best friend.
~
SHAWN
Being the campus' most famous girl's best friend, has a lot of pros my friend.
Despite the fact that now, I get invited to a shitload of frat parties and have a million girls drooling over me all the time I know I am fab, I don't give a hang for it.
Any of it.
Call me naive, stupid or whatever, I think I have mistaken my own identity with her.
~
She had a wondrous vision and though she writes stuff that are like toodeep4us, she as a person, is a complete stunner! A genuine kid at heart and virtuso at mind, damn she is one in a zillion.
I couldn't stop talking to her, I couldn't you know, I wouldn't say fanboy but I don't know, I couldn't really stop what I was doing, like I am addicted to what I am into.
Oh no.
~
The friendship we had, to be honest, seemed more than plain friendship.
Ironically, not possible.
Months ahead, she was telling me how it is with Axl.
Not like I give a ha'pence about it.
"It's so tough, Shawnee. Like I am in a relationship with you know, a completely uninterested person. He is so stuck up on himself sometimes. The other, he seems to be so in love. And the one another, he just doesn't care."
"Oh that is so bad!" Sarcasm be like.
"IKR? Yet, I don't want to hurt him either. He is a jock physically but Buddha inside."
Buddha? Damn bro, you such old soul.
"Ohh if you say so."
"Tell me your story."
What story?
Bleh.
SAMANTHA
Shawnee is so sarcastically nuts that he thinks I don't notice it in his ridiculously sarcastic replies.
I don't even know why I call him Shawnee like LOL it is longer than his actual name but it's rolls right off the tongue, you know.
~
He has so many theories of his own. Like he has this thing where he says anything opposite and particularly negative to something pleasant you say and calls himself being practical.
In one corner, I know he is absolutely right, and all this is righteously possible than what I dream of, but it's my egotism that I say I don't like the way he talks like that.
I know I can be very confusing.
Then, another major.
We fight a lot. It's petty, but it is profound too. I don't know how to explain it, but we fight like married couples, and he says it's best if he moves away and I say I don't want him to and weep to him and again we both become normal and again the virtual cycle goes on.
It is exceedingly frustrating in a way, but in another, it has stitched both of us extremely close that drifting away seems daunting enough to boil my blood.
Some mystery, I guess.
~
" She was my ex yeah and I loathe her."
WUT.
Is it ironical that this guys' ex is a very very good friend of mine?
Gee, the world is small after all.
I still felt he kept hiding something about it.
"Hey, you're not telling me something."
Shawn glared at me.
"What is it?"
"It was a kind of forced relationship. We never did anything together. We didn't go out, we didn't talk, it was namesake bullshit. She approached me initially, and I accepted, but well it didn't turn out well. I gave her up purposefully for reasons I don't want to talk about."
"Oh. That's okay."
"I know. But she wasn't the one, because, there was never love in that. You remember our first Lit class? I still disagree with your points. I believe true love is profound. I believe there is one for one in this world. I believe that if a person falls in love once that is sort of, their eternal one." His voice faltered.
"People always don't make right choices, Shawn. Going through a lot of relationships doesn't mean that the hearts are being toyed with. If say, someone is that eternal love, as you say, you should never have feelings of loneliness, depression or anything. It should be all happy. Always happy. It is a dilemma of man to choose the perfect one. Analyzing and taking your time is definitely not wrong."
"Basically every girl. That's just feminism, I guess." He stuck his tongue out.
"Don't you talk you chauvinist asshole"
SHAWN
We both cracked up.
She was a revelation. She is a revelation to me every single day. Her thoughts differ, but I think she's doing something to me. She's making me look at this world different. For a person like I, with life as the rubbles, the only person capable of making me laugh, cry,ruminate, love, hate? 
Only she can do that.
Only she has done that.
Now I realize how lucky that Sapan guy should've been. Maybe that's what she had with him. Eternal happiness. That's why she described it that way. I could feel the regret and pain in her tone. Carrying the guilt in a way, thinking of herself as responsible for it.
Tough life, isn't it?
Let me remove that regret, then.