In the Shadows - Sebastian Sallow x reader (English)

Chapter 16

Sebastian's POV

The next morning I was exhausted. It was just four in the morning. I hardly slept a wink all night because my mind was on Y/N. She must have been feeling awful and I wasn't there to help her. At the same time, my anger consumed me. Anger at Leander for kissing and holding Y/N against her will. Anger that he had ruined my plans for the evening. Anger at being so selfish and regretting my missed opportunity to kiss Y/N for the first time and to confess my feelings to her. Sighing, I sat up in my bed and looked at my knuckles, where the skin had split open from the beating I had given Leander that evening. Of course, I could have healed my ankles with a spell, but I wanted the pain to remind me of what I had done. Y/N was right: I went too far. My emotions had taken control of my actions. I had to quickly find Y/N and apologize to her for my impulsive behaviour. I hurriedly slipped on a black knit sweater and slipped into my black pants.

Since it was still early in the morning, Y/N couldn't be at breakfast yet, so I made my way across the deserted castle to the Gryffindor common room. Arriving at the portrait of the fat lady, I was glad that two third-years had recently had a chat about how this year's Gryffindor password was the botanical name for dandelion root, which I overheard from their conversation in passing. "Radix Taraxaci", I grinned at the woman in the pink dress. With a sceptical look, the portrait swung open, revealing the entrance to the Gryffindor common room. Heart pounding, I crawled through the hole behind the portrait. Except for a familiar mop of hair on the sofa in front of the fireplace, the common room was deserted. Without a word, I flopped down on the sofa next to Y/N, which startled her out of her thoughts. "Relax! It's just me", I tried to calm the Gryffindor. Y/N looked at me with wide, bloodshot eyes. She had swapped her black dress for a red knit sweater and a pair of grey pants. "Sebastian? What the fuck are you doing here? How did you get the password?" Grinning, I leaned back on the sofa. "Your third years had better watch out for where they talk about their newly learned Herbology words. Dandelion root? Seriously? That's not a good password." Y/N raised an eyebrow and gave me an incredulous look. "But aspiration was a good password or what? Whether it means ambition or inhaling a foreign object, it practically screams Slytherin." I shouldn't have told her about it. "Point for you", I laughed and got a tired smile from my friend. "But let's be honest, Sebastian. What are you doing here?" "I wanted to check on you and apologize for my reaction yesterday." I gently cupped her hands in mine and ran my thumbs down the backs of her hands. "I shouldn't have interfered, but my anger got the better of me. I'm sorry to have upset you." The Gryffindor looked down, her hair falling in her face. With one hand I tucked the soft intruders behind her ear and rested my hand on her cheek for a moment, causing her to look up. "I'm well aware that you can fight your battles alone, but I can't just stand by and watch you suffer. Especially since you obviously haven't slept for a second." Mockingly, my counterpart exhaled. "You're one to talk. Have you looked in the mirror today, Sallow? You've got dark circles under your eyes deeper than the Grand Canyon. Guess I'm not the only person around here who didn't sleep tonight." "You got me. I lay up half the night worrying about you." I scooted closer to Y/N, who was staring at me with wide eyes. "Normally I would have taken my calming drops, but the bottle is empty. I'll have to get supplies from Nurse Blainey later." "Do you need these more often?", the Gryffindor asked in a concerned tone. I sighed. "Pretty much every night. I don't know how I screwed up getting supplies either." Y/N nodded, eyes downcast, before speaking again. "I could use those on my bedside table." My heart felt heavy. "Do you often have nightmares, too?" "Constantly. From the fight against Ranrok. About Professor Fig dying right in front of my eyes. From your uncle. Or about my friends, how they all die and that's just because of me." "Your boggart", I stated, startled. "Yes, my boggart. I had that dream before, but the Boggart made it worse and more real." With that, Y/N flopped against my chest and I wrapped my arms tightly around her body. With her in my arms, I leaned back against the armrest and stretched out on the sofa, Y/N on me. As I lay down, I kicked my shoes off my feet to keep them off the cushions. "You asked if I often had nightmares, too. Is that why you need the tranquillizers?", the witch on my chest asked. "Yes", I sighed. "Of Solomon in different variations. About me killing him. About him killing you or Ominis. How I cast the curse on him and one of you jumps in between and I kill you instead. Of Anne being cursed. Or about Anne dying because I didn't find the cure in time. And how I use the Cruciatus Curse on you. I feel terrible about all of this. And it's all my own fault." Looking sad, Y/N lifted her head and cupped her hand on my cheek. "We cannot undo what has happened. And you had to use Crucio on me, otherwise, the three of us would have died slowly but surely in the scriptorium. So we had no choice. I don't blame you." I took her hand in mine and closed my eyes. "I should have insisted that you use the curse on me. I shouldn't have put you through that agony." "But I couldn't do it. I just couldn't hurt you." Bull's eye. My heart sank at her words and I looked deep into her eyes. "But I could hurt you. And I hate myself for it. I hate myself for every time I've used one of the Unforgivable Curses. I inflicted unimaginable pain on you with Crucio and scared Anne with Imperio and then lost her completely when I killed Solomon. I'm a monster Y/N I don't know what I did to deserve you covering for me and you and Ominis still talking to me. Not to mention this." I pulled her even closer to me. Y/N seemed to consider what to answer and took a deep breath. "Because you are important to us, Sebastian. You did what was necessary. The idea of you in Azkaban... I hate to imagine it." Tears welled up in her eyes and she buried her face back into my chest.

We lay silently on the sofa for a moment and listened to the crackling fire in the fireplace. Lost in thought, I played with a strand of her hair. "To be honest, I've needed the drops every night since Anne was cursed. Except twice. The nights I spent with you, I slept more peacefully than I had in a long time." "I feel the same way", Y/N admitted, my heart skipping a beat. "Guess you just make me feel safe and secure." After everything that happened? My heart contracted and yet, at the same time, a warm feeling spread in my chest. "You're always welcome in my bed", I grinned. "Dumbass", she giggled and slapped my arm, which made me laugh. With a sigh, Y/N snuggled closer to me and soon fell asleep. Her closeness and regular breathing soothed me that a moment later I nodded off as well.

Y/N's POV

"Hey, wake up!" Someone shook me awake. How rude. I sleepily opened my eyes and looked into the face of Penelope, the seventh-year Gryffindor prefect. Sebastian grumbled beneath me. "I delight you two your luck, but your lover needs to get out of the common room. A Slytherin has no business here. And I'd rather not ask how he got in here in the first place." Did she just say lover? I straightened up in a flash. The blood rushed to my cheeks. "H-he's not... We're not a couple." "Don't say that, mo gaol", Sebastian pouted mockingly under me, fiddling with my hair. "Shut up, Sallow!" With an eye roll, I slapped his hand away and stood up, motioning for the Slytherin to do the same. "May I at least put my shoes on before you kick me out of here?" "Yes", Penelope said, while I simultaneously answered no in a sarcastic tone and threw his shoes at Sebastian's feet. With a crooked grin directed at me, he quickly put on his shoes and then ran his hands through his already dishevelled hair, only to leave it in a complete mess. "Are you coming with me?", the Slytherin asked me with a look that made my heart pound. "I'll be right back. I'll just change into something proper", I retorted and quickly disappeared into the dorm to change into a black, knee-length skirt over tights and a dark green sweater. I hurried, making sure to be quiet as my roommates were still asleep. As I exited the common room, Sebastian was waiting for me leaning against the wall and smirked at me when he saw me. "Green suits you. Emerald green would look especially good on you." I grinned back cheekily. "Hmm, I like ruby red better." Shaking his head, the brunette pushed himself off the wall. "I'm just saying. Well then, off to the hospital wing."

Arriving at said hospital wing, we saw Professor Weasley standing in front of the bed of a demolished Leander. "Mr Prewett, who messed you up like this?" Just as Leander opened his mouth to answer, his eyes flicked to us. A cold shiver ran down my spine and I reflexively grabbed Sebastian's hand. Leander looked down. "No one, Professor. I tripped over my shoelaces and fell down the stairs." "Mr Prewett, if you don't tell me the truth, I can't help you." Professor Weasley was adamant. If Leander confessed to her that Sebastian was responsible for his injuries, there would be dire consequences. But on the other hand, we had Leander's action against him from the previous evening in our hands. And that could mean exclusion from school for him. "Oh, Mr Sallow and Miss Y/LN." Nurse Blainey had appeared next to us and I couldn't help but wince. "What can I do for you today?" Sebastian dug a small bottle out of his pocket and held it out to the nurse. "I need supplies, please." "Sure", the witch smiled and took the bottle. "I'd like a bottle, too", I blurted out. Nurse Blainey nodded, smiling. "Naturally. After what you had to go through last year, I can totally understand that." The black-haired disappeared into her office and returned a short time later with two small bottles. "One drop on your tongue and you'll sleep like a baby." We accepted the bottles with thanks and left the hospital wing again. Professor Weasley had given up questioning Leander and was talking to Nurse Blainey. Sebastian put his bottle in his pocket. "By the way, I meant that earlier. You're always welcome in my bed." His words made me trip over my own feet. "I...er...can't just break into the Slytherin common room. I'm not you." "Do you have a better idea? We could always meet in the undercroft, but it gets freezing cold there at night. Besides, Ominis would catch us quickly and I don't feel like that." I thought for a moment before it clicked. "I know a place."

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Where could that be?