𝐑𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 | 𝐑𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐎𝐂

Thirteen.

Rafe and me continued our walk with minimal talking. I don't think either of us know what we we're actually doing, let alone know what to talk about.

My house suddenly became present in the distance. I thought this trip would be easy. Him walk me home, me see my drunk mother, and then go to bed. But nothing was ever actually easy.

Parked right outside of my house was a car i have hated seeing for years.

It was the car belonging to one of my mom's regular hookups. His name was Sam, and i hated him.

Such a dick.

I remember once my mom and him thought they could become a serious thing, and he began staying over. It wasn't that i hated him staying over, i got use to it.

It was the fact that he had, and still thinks he has the audacity to try and act like an actual fucking dad.

He use to tell me where i could go, who i could see, how long i could stay out for and even what i could fucking wear. He also took a stupid dislike to JJ, which at the time enraged me more than anything.

Of course, i never listened, but it pissed me off more than anything.

Him thinking he could walk into my life, and act like a fucking father figure was beyond me. My own dad failed at that, i seriously don't think some random, drunk, controlling mess of a man could do any better.

Eventually him and my mother split up, but now he was back. I didn't want to see him. I already had so much going on, and he's the last thing i wanted to add to the shit i call my life.

"Um, Rafe. I"-

My words stopped as his eyes snapped towards mine with furrowed brows. The worry must have been evident on my face.

Fuck, i felt like such a idiot asking this.

"Can..can we walk somewhere else? Please?" I spoke avoiding any possible eye contact with him.

"Uh, where?" He was quite obviously confused. I don't blame him, he had just walked me home and now i was asking him to do the opposite.

"Boneyard?" I pitched nervously.

"This late?" He laughed slightly. "You sure?"

His laugh made me feel slightly better. At least he didn't just straight up reject my offer. At least not yet...

"Yeah, cmon. Your not a pussy are you?" I smirked, walking backwards slowly.

He looked shocked, yet amused.

"Fuck off." He rolled his eyes with a smirk, beginning to follow my steps.

As we made our way to the boneyard in somewhat comfortable silence, i couldn't help but find myself lost in my own head. Seeing Sam's car parked outside my own house once again was already enough to confuse me.

Yet nothing seemed to play on my mind more than the man already walking right next to me.

My brain started to rack with questions subconsciously. As much as i tried to push the thoughts away, i couldn't help it.

Is he seriously, willingly going somewhere with me? Me? Like hello? I'm completely sure this man has hated my guts since we were kids.

Why was Rafe even here? And why was i willingly walking around with him?

Part of me was screaming that i was being tricked. That this whole thing was a joke with some of his friends. Maybe him and Topper-

"Sofia? Hey, you okay?" I heard Rafe's voice suddenly fill my ears, interrupting my thoughts. "Think you kinda clocked out for a second there." I looked towards his face, in shock to see him look concerned.

I found myself staring back for a few seconds. Right into his eyes. It felt like part of me was trying to read into him somehow. I then quickly looked away.

"I'm fine." I spoke quietly, pushing my shoulders back a little in a rolling action.

A sudden feeling of anxiety started to take over my body. I attempted to block it out, but every time i even looked in the direction of Rafe, my mind began to ring alarms. And i couldn't even put my finger on why.

I felt the sudden urge to defend myself and my actions. To put up a wall between us. To Bail.

"Hey, um..maybe this was a bad idea." Freezing in position on the sandy pavement, the words poured out of my mouth before i could even think about it.

Rafe's feet matched mine, coming to a halt in his long strides. He looked taken back. But not in an offended way. More of a hurt, confused way. As crazy as it sounds.

Fucking hell when will i learn to keep my mouth shut?

I began to feel quilt wash over me. Never in my life have i looked at this man and felt a feeling of remorse or even slight care. I think that's why this whole situation had me panicking.

Rafe then managed to form a sentence. And now this prior feeling of quilt rushed over me one hundred times harder.

"So..you don't want to go to the boneyard?" He laughed quietly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Our whole dynamic had changed. The slight tension between us had turned into awkward silence.

I racked my brain of what to say next. No matter what i said would make any of this less fucking uncomfortable.

"Yeah, um, my mom might be wondering where i am. You know, it's almost midnight." I smiled slightly. My words came out hesitant. Forced. Still attempting to lighten the sudden mood change.

Rafe stared at me again for a few seconds before nodding. "Right."

His presence, which a few minutes ago felt some how vulnerable and playful, now felt closed off.
He avoided eye contact and kept a stone cold face.

I mean, i couldn't blame him. I may have just created the most fucking awkward situation in history, but Rafe never failed to amaze me with how fast he could switch.

I've seen it before.

It's like something takes over him all of a sudden. Like a chest that had just been locked, taking all its treasure with it.

"C'mon then." He spoke, beginning to turn his back to me.

I stared at his broad shoulders, still completely lost in thought.

When he realised i wasn't next to him, he faced me again.

"What? You said you needed to go home. So walk." He frowned, spinning on his heels again with his last word.

My legs mindlessly obeyed. My brain way too focused on whatever the fuck just happened to even think about what he just said and how he said it. Normally, i'd fight back if he spoke to me like that. With such lack of respect.

But i couldn't. Not now.

The walk back was quiet. Far too quiet. Rafe remained a few steps ahead, hands in pockets and eyes glued to his surroundings.

When i realised we had already reached my house, i looked around to quietly thank Rafe for still walking home with me.

Only to find him already gone. Taking any chance of progress between us away with him.

And it was all my fault.

~

omg i haven't updated in so long IM SO SO SORRY

2.98 reads what the fuck.

i genuinely never thought any one would actually read this, so this is huge for me thank you so much😭😭😭💗