Twenty.

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It has now been around 5 hours since me and Rafe's basically accidental sleepover. It wasn't planned. Well at-least not for me.

I simply had a rough day, and needed the salvation of another human to come and rescue me. Never, did i plan for that to be Rafe.

It just so happened that he picked up my calls to Sarah's phone, and insisted on coming to get me. Even after i protested.

We smoked together. Again.

For some reason this felt like it was going to become a regular occurrence. Well, only if i keep on spiralling myself into some sort of trouble, and end up waiting for the now familiar car of Rafe Cameron to show up on the sidewalk.

I knew it was wrong. He knew it was wrong. At least on paper it was.

A privileged, rich, snobby faced Kook, kicking around with a poor, frowned upon Pogue.

It was completely alien really. Especially for Rafe Cameron.

So i guess that's why i'm asking myself why i am currently sat on my own bedroom floor, staring at my phone screen. Awaiting on a particular message.

I had been checking all day. Silently cursing myself every time my eyes where met with the usual fluorescent colours of my lock screen.

It was embarrassing. Embarrassing that i was so fucking adamant on reviving a message from the one boy i shouldn't have a reason to.

He said he would text me.

I was so sure he would.

I had to hand it to myself. I was patient. Too patient.

I didn't want to text him first, in fear of the sheer shame i'd feel if he ignored it. Jeez, i don't think i'd recover from that anytime soon.

It was enough that i was even giving him the time of day.

6PM.

The numbers displayed on my screen.

6PM. And still no message.

My head dropped to my chin. My arms that were before holding up my chest and head as i laid on my stomach, flopped to the hard wood floor.

I finally accepted the humiliating fact that i was not going to get a text back from Rafe tonight. No matter how long i stared at the phone.

I now needed a distraction.

I suppose that is one major thing i miss about the Pogues. Whenever i needed someone, one of them would be there. Always.

No matter how severe or minimal the situation was, they'd be a shout away.

At least then i knew i had shoulder to lean on.

Now, all i felt was complete abandonment.

Loneliness.

Silence. Who knew it could be such a daunting sound?

I decided to shower, a possible attempt to relax my brain. Not that it did.

I find it such bullshit when someone says that. Claims that a little bit of self care will magically cure all the problems in the world.

It's all i was ever told growing up. Have a bath, make some hot milk, go on a walk.

I'm sure it was just because my own mother never actually wanted to deal with any of my actual problems. Too caught up in her own.

All i wanted was someone to listen.

The silk pj's i grabbed from my draw slipped over my body. A gift from Kiara a few years back.

Wet hair down my back and body now clean, i climbed into bed.

My mom and her boyfriend where out. I wasn't sure where, but i was grateful.

Relaxing into the bumpy mattress below me, my mind wandered back to today.

Maybe he didn't want to call me. Maybe it really was all a sick joke.

My thoughts began to drown me. Even the rough pinch of my eyes wasn't clearing them.

I guess i can say goodbye to my plan of an early night...

Until, a shrilling ring began to surround my room. It made me jump.

I scrambled out of bed, reaching for my phone on the floor.

Rafe Cameron.

The name flashed onto my screen.

I wasn't even sure how we had each-others numbers. I'm assuming it was Sarah's doing, or maybe he got it of someone.

Anyway, i answered it.

I pulled the phone to my ear. " Hello?" I huffed, quickly finding my self feeling annoyed.

He had the nerve to not even drop me a text the whole day, and now he was calling me at 10 o'clock at night. For all he knows i could be asleep. Dick.

"Sofia. I'm so, so sorry." He sounded...out of breath? "I was supposed to text you. I know that you wante-"

"Where are you?" The words slipped out my mouth before i could stop myself. I don't know if it was my frustration talking, or that i genuinely cared where he was.

"I'm- i'm home. I've been...out." his voice snapped, later trailing off.

"O-okay." His sharp tone quickly prisoned my short lived anger.

A thought suddenly came to my mind. An unwanted thought. Although i couldn't deny its clear evidence.

Out of breath.

Short tempered.

Rambling.

Rafe Cameron was on Coke.

There was no secret around town he did it. I know he's involved with those sort of people and that sort of scene. Every rich kid was.

I huffed a sigh. A sigh of disappointment.

"Call me when you're sober, Rafe."

I dragged the phone away from my ear with force, pressing the large red button on my screen. Ending the short phone call.

If Rafe wanted my forgiveness, he had to mean it.







~






Heyyy loves

I haven't updated in a while, so i'm sorry and i will try to be more consistent!

Love you all💓

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