Raining Bullets And Roses YJH

Chapter 37

Joshua POV:

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!" I snarled, shattering the vanity mirror in front of me.

Nothing was going in the right direction. NCT? The cowards had surrendered after Doyoung was killed, leaving me without any ally. Love? Pfft. Love was a joke. No one would love me. I would always be nothing but a spare and a second in command Never first. Never first.

Even from birth I had been doomed. I was the son of a prostitute and Jeonghan's father. The only reason I had been accepted into the family was because I had some of the Yoon blood. I was given to Jeonghan to be his playmate and supporter. I was treated like a son, but inside I knew I was just a spare. When Mr. Yoon died, Jeonghan inherited everything. I was given nothing. By the time I was an adult, most of the gang wanted to throw me out. A son of a prostitute. A disgusting halfblood. Worthless. Rotten. Vile.

Instead Jeonghan kept me. He liked me, he said. I had smiled then, but I felt nothing but jealousy. Why was it that he was treated like a king, while I was garbage? We shared the same father! When I heard of Seungcheol's deal with my brother, I concocted a scheme. Jeonghan had enough. There was no way I was letting him get more.

"Choi Seungcheol is dead." I read the 4 word letter.

Those words sent a shiver up my spine. Was I scared? Was I glad? Who knew honestly. I scanned the bottle of thallium that I had hidden away in my drawer. That good for nothing camel man. Yoo Kihyun had been caught and killed, but the suspicion would be placed on Jeonghan. Not me. That was good.  At least Jeonghan wouldn't get the Seoul territory anymore. Perhaps I could even leave the Daegu gang and claim it for myself? Perhaps-

"Lee Dauen has inherited the Seoul Gang."

I froze. What? Jeonghan was shouting but I couldn't hear him. There my chance went again, gone.

"Who is this bitch? I'll kill her! I'll freaking kill her!" My brother roared, waking me from my trance.

I smiled inwardly. For once I agreed with my sibling. Then I saw you, Dauen. You were innocent yet fierce, sassy but sweet. I felt my heart light up when I talked with you at the pool. I tried to make more small talk, but he stole you away. Fucking Jeonghan. It was he who danced with you, he who took you out on a date. I saved your life and pulled you out of the burning car when Jaehyun threw a bomb at the car but even still it was he who you fell in love with, and me who you disdained.

"Another round for Jeonghan and Dauen!"

I glanced out of my bedroom window and watched as Dokyeom raised a glass of wine along with the other members. I had declined the party, claiming that I was sick and that wasn't a lie. I was feeling sick, lovesick.

"Dauen, Dauen, Dauen." I hummed as I stared at Dokyeom.

Dokyeom. I rifled through my drawer and pulled out the folder that Jeonghan had sent Dokyeom. Inside were two people who Dokyeom had killed. Lee Taeyong and Jeon Soyeon. My eyes widened. Perhaps there was a chance for me after all.

"Your parents huh? Hehe, poor thing. I wonder if she'll still love you brother dear when I reveal this to her."

I laughed and put in my headphones. Pushing on play, I soon fell asleep while the lyrics of the song poured into my ears.

No love letters, no X and O's

No love, never, my exes know

No diamond rings, that set in stone

To the left, better left alone

Didn't wanna be a princess, I'm priceless

A prince not even on my list

Love is a drug that I quit

No doctor could help when I'm lovesick