𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐔𝐋 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓

Chapter Thirty One: Therapy

～ꗥ❀ THERAPY ❀ꗥ～
BEAUTIFUL LITTLE SECRET
FIRST PERSON

➛I can't sleep. All that replays in my head is seeing people get shot, and all I hear are screams and I don't know what to do about it. I haven't started talking to Alessandra yet, we start today though. She said she wasn't going to act like family or hold back.

That made me nervous for some reason. She wanted me to go to her office so we could talk about it, but she also has other clients to work with. So when I got up there I had to wait in the waiting room. I remembered the woman from the other time I was here, she was just staring at me.

I was looking around nervously, she didn't have to worry. I wasn't going to fuck Alessandra like I did before. A man walked out of her office and I stood up. "Velora." She said when she appeared in the door way.

I walked to her and had my head down. I've never been to therapy before. She closed the door behind us and took a deep breath, we both sat down. I was sat down right on the couch she fucked me on. I would laugh but she didn't seem like she would laugh at that.

"So. How are you doing?" She asked me, even though she was my partner, I still felt nervous to talk about this, I couldn't look her in the eyes. "I'm doing." I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "Just doing? Why's that?" She asked, I sighed.

"I'm just not doing great, I don't feel like myself, I feel like a whole different person." I told her and she nodded, writing down something. Well that's annoying. "And why is that?"

I gulped, I looked up at her and sighed. "Three weeks ago, m-my friends and I experienced something no one should experience." She wrote something down again and I stared at her as she did so. She nodded and looked at me. "And how did that make me you feel?"

"Scared. I thought I was going to die." I know she wasn't trying to bring her feelings into this but I could see on her face that she feels what I feel, I see it in her eyes. "I blanked out from when it happened to the next day. I-I don't even remember me getting home, I don't remember anything besides waking up in my bed and crying." I explained more to her.

She wrote more things down, sighing. "If you feel comfortable enough, could you tell me what happened?" She's so lucky I feel comfortable around her. I nodded, and averted my eyes to the lamp next to her.

"Well, my friends wanted to take me out since I was having my wedding dinner. A-and at first it was so fun. I was having such a good time being able to dance and drink with my friends." I said, then gulped. "I-I went to the bathroom, because I was going to call my fiancé, a-and I heard the gun shots."

There were tears coming down my face at this point. I couldn't look at her. "Hey you don't have to continue, if this is too much we will just move on." I nodded, so she wrote something down and looked up. "Have you eaten well?" I shook my head.

"Not the best. Sometimes I want to stay in my room and just sleep. I-I feel bad sometimes because my fiancé and I are lively and we like spending time together, but it's nerve racking for me to do a lot. This is the first time I came out of my house."

She took a sip of her drink, nodding. "You need to eat, even if you don't feel like it. And it's okay if you don't want to go out or spend time with your fiancé, as long as you get out once in awhile, it's all good." She said.

"How is your fiancé in all of this?" Ugh she is my fiancé. I wanted to smile once more, but again she was serious. "Uhm, I think she's scared to lose me. Her and Bianca, her ex wife, have been there for me. I like that." I did.

I think some could say I still had feelings for Bianca, because I did. I haven't told Alessandra that though because I don't want to ruin anything by since we just decided Bianca wouldn't have sex with me anymore. "Talk to me about Bianca, what's she like?"

"When I first met her, she was very sweet, she still is but once you really know her, she becomes a very possessive, dominant person. She's just like my fiancé, just a blond version." I smiled, she looked at me and smiled.

"And how does she make you feel?" I shook my head, and looked at her. "I don't wanna talk about this right now." I said, shaking my head. She raised her eyebrow. "Why not? Is there a specific reason?" She asked. I looked down and started fidgeting. "No." I said. "Can we move on from this topic now. This isn't apart of my healing."

"I'm just trying to get to know everything. All these people impact your life. They have a meaning in your life and it's important that you share this information with your therapist. Your therapist needs to know so you can tell them how you feel, it's therapy."

I sighed. "Okay but remember you said you weren't going to be my fiancé but my therapist so whatever I say stays in here." She nodded. I took a deep breath and looked up at her. "Well we had sexual relations, and yes that was fun. But we just decided that since things were more serious between my fiancé and I that we would stop." She didn't write this down like she did every thing else.

"And she's just as good as my fiancé, like they are both really really good at fucking me I mean lik-" I closed my mouth once I realized she was laughing at me. "What?" I asked, mumbling. "Sorry. Sorry. You're not supposed to curse here, but I'll let it slide this time only."

I nodded, apologizing. "Anyway, so you want to continue sexual relations with Bianca?" This is so on topic, hence the sarcasm.

"I mean, yes. But at the same time, I don't. I want a one on one relationship with my fiancé." I said. "But anyway I don't know how this is on topic to what I experienced." I said, shaking my head. She shrugged. "Gotta learn more about my patient correct?" I nodded and rolled my eyes. "Even about their sex lives?" She chuckled and nodded.

"Back on topic." She smiled, I nodded. Soon after, it was over and she was not acting how she was during. "Come here." She said, I stood up and walked over to her. She put me on top of her and sighed. "You did good." She said, I nodded at her and smiled softly. "Do you really want to fuck Bianca still?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, but again, I only truly want you." I muttered. She nodded. "Once things start to settle down we will talk about it. But for right now, go home, rest and shower. I'll be home in a few hours." I nodded and tried standing but she kept me close to her. "Kiss me." She whispered.

I looked down at her lips and gave her a little kiss, watching her smile and look at me. "Go now." She said, I stood up and said goodbye to her and left. One down, more sessions to go.

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