Jesse's secret

9

Hoppos pov:
The very second I park the car on the visitor area, Jesses breathing starts to get extremely irregular. I tried every technique I ever heard off, but none seem to work. As Jesses lips start to turn blue, I pull him over the council of the car and press him against me like I would a toddler.
„It's ok Jesse, everything will be just fine." I tell him as my own fear starts to nearly swallow me whole. I smash the car door close, and then hurry towards the entry with Jesse still in my arms like a child. When I run in I thankfully see the guy that was with the chopper, so I without another thought, make my way towards him. Who cares that he is in fact occupied with another doctor? Jesse needs him, so he better f**king be willing to help!
„Marco!" I shout out as I see the both of them trying to enter the elevator. They seem irritated but turn around anyway. Their curiosity quickly changes in utter worry as they take in the way I am carrying Jesse.
„This way! What happened?" the guy next to Marco hurries us towards an examination room while throwing me an oxygen mask to put over Jesse.
„Lay him down here, that way we can check him over." the new doctor says. Yet Jesse only seems to panic some more as I try to sit him down. His fingers automatically cling onto me, even pinching my skin in a punishing hold. But I don't care, not even feeling that much pain from it if I am being honest, since I am way too worried for his well-being. The wheezing also makes it that much more frightening!
„JESSE!" Marco all of a sudden screams out, making my ears ring from the sheer loudness. It however seems to help Jesse to concentrate on his surroundings again. The new environment thought only confuse and worry him all over again.
„Deep breaths Jesse, deep breaths." The new doctor soothingly try's to get him to cooperate, yet it only makes his breathing even more irregular. Not able to watch the young man I consider the closest thing i have to a son like that, I decide to try my luck.
„It's ok buddy. You started to panic when I parked outside, so I carried you in here." I try to sound as honest and caring as humanly possible. He also seems to find something reassuring about it, as he for the first time gasps in some air into his shaking body. Those light blue eyes of his once again start to look around the room in confusion.
„That's it bra, why don't ya take a few more deep breaths for us?" Marco asks and further on exaggerates his own breathing for Jesse to follow along. The appearance of his friend however once again triggers something all over again.
„Jesse, no more going off into that overworking brain of yours." I softly say and even further put my left hand on his cheek caringly. Really wanting him to understand how worried I am for him and his well being. And as his eyes finally concentrate on mine, I smile lovingly at him. Rather proud that he try's to stay more focused on what I am telling him.
„Try and take a deep breath for me buddy, yeah?" I whisper as his body right away follows my encouraging words. Alone by that, my smile widens lovingly as my heart further goes out for him.
„Good job! Let's take another one." I once again say, and once again his body follows suit. We kept on doing that for at least twenty minutes until his eyes start to clear up some more. His shaking by now also has stopped and his body lays exhausted against mine.
„Can you try to loosen your tight grip a bit Jesse?" the doctor softly questions. But it's rather obvious that Jesse has absolutely no idea what he is talking about. Slowly his eyes look towards his fingers that still have a grueling hold on my skin. Yet I have cero problem with that. If that's what keeps my boy breathing, then so be it! The guilt and slight worry that roles off of him hurts more than I can put in words and definitely more than his hold on me! So I quickly try to stop his thought process before he once again falls into a panic attack.
„Buddy, hey. Look at me, it's ok. We have all the time we need. No reason to start to wander off in your head again." I carefully tell him. Also trying my hardest to show nothing but care and understanding for him. This alone makes him sigh as if it's reassuring him to know that I am more than fine to hold him this close to me.
„I am only going to lift the oxygen mask off your face, ay?" The doctor carefully says as he comes closer towards the two of us. Definitely trying to gauge jesses reaction after he panicked earlier on when someone would come closer to him and I. As the mask got off, his whole face screams disgust, making the three of us chuckle lowly.
„I know, the smell is really annoying isn't it." The doc again says with a small wink his way. Seemingly not knowing what to say, he simply nods slowly in reply.
„Can ya tell us what got ya that panicked bra?" Marco questions in curiosity while my body stiffens slightly in fear how Jesse might react to it. I also make sure to glare at Marco for daring bringing that up so shortly after what had happened! What if Jesse all over again stops to breath!?
„Camera." Was the simple reply of his in a shaken up whisper, while he looks straight into my eyes. His eyes swim with worry and with so many questions that he seems not able to ask out aloud.
„You want me to call them and tell them to delete the footage of the day?" I softly ask, hoping thats indeed what will help him calm down further. Because if that's indeed what he needs, than there will be nothing that will hold me back from deleting all of the recordings myself if I have to!
Jesse stays quiet for a bit before his eyes once more start to go unfocused. Since I however don't want a repeat of earlier, I again lay my left hand on his cheek, softly caressing it with my thumb, to make him look at me and not wander off back into his inner panic.
„Why don't I call them right away buddy? I am sure they understand as well." I softly say matter of factly while grabbing for my phone with my free hand. Wanting to get it all figured out so Jesses nerves get soothed some more.
„Please." He nearly inaudibly mumbles. My heart breaks slightly at the utter thankfulness yet shyness that surrounds him like a blanket. It truly is hard to grasp how he must of grown up if something this trivial surprises him. Thinking about it, he always seemed to be utterly confused whenever someone willingly helped him.
„Why don't you let go of your boss mate? Than he can make the call outside since there is hardly any service within those thick hospital walls." The doc asks as Jesses body instantly stiffens up alone by the mention that I would leave his side. Even if it would only be for a quick phone call.
„Here, ya can just use the hospital phone." Marco says nonchalantly as he offers me said phone without any hesitation.
„It's ok buddy, deep breaths. See, there is nothing to be worried for." I try to soothingly say, while taking the offered phone. Yet I make sure to not move any further to help Jesse calm down slightly before making the call. After he nods his head in understanding, I enter the phone number and start the call to the camera crew.
Hopefully they won't make a big deal out of it, because if they do I might trigger Jesse back into a new panic attack all over again and that's just unacceptable!