Better Together

46 | retrospect

^ The song in the background I imagined for their kiss. 💕 

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Aadarsh slowly pulled away from her. He took in a few staggered breaths. They stayed like that for a few moments. Their faces close with barley a thin layer of air between them, eyes closed and lips moist with the memory of their kiss.

He had never felt so sentiment as he felt in that moment. He had never felt so aware of himself in years, as he did in those few moments. He could hear his heartbeat loud and clear. It was astoundingly phenomenal.

It felt like being released of a prison of eternal darkness into light. The light was blinding but still palliating.

He had never imagined it to be like this. He didn't remember the last time when a mere kiss had meant so much.

Kisses had become a part of foreplay not a means of expressing affection. A kiss on the mouth was usually an appetizer for the main course which was mind-numbing pleasure-deriving sex.

In years, he hadn't kissed anyone this tenderly. In years, kissing hadn't felt so pure, so personal, so intimate. The last and only time a kiss had meant so much, it was for Siddhi.

He had always thought if he ever kissed Ruhaani it would be out of his frustration, it would be lust, it would be nothing but sexual. Howbeit he didn't feel an ounce of lust tonight. He didn't want to rip her clothes off. He had not in the remotest been thinking about sex.

He just wanted her to be happy.

He didn't want to hurt her.

He wanted her to feel special just like she made everyone around her feel.

He took in a deep troubled breath. He had kept out of trouble ever since his mother left him on his own. He used to be a boy who chased troubles, who did what his heart wanted because he knew he had his mother as his safety net.

After his mother's demise, there was no more doing stupid things, no more chasing things his heart wanted. He didn't have someone to help him up, if he fell. He didn't have anyone to show him the way, if he got lost. He had disciplined himself, made a responsible man out of that reckless stupid boy his mother had left behind.

Everything was always under his control. But, tonight nothing seemed to be in his control. Life was spiraling out of his control and he was just going with the flow.

He felt his phone buzz again in his pocket, breaking him out of his trance. His gaze gently landed on her with complete awareness. He slowly increased the distance between them. Her gaze slowly floated up to his. A few strands of her hair stuck to his cheek. Her eyes glazed over with the aftermath.

Oh God!

Her entrancing expressive eyes were spilling out the secrets of her heart. There was a softness blended with a fierceness in those brown orbs, an unapologetic strong emotion. It was both a sight to behold and a sight to be worried about.

She had to stop. This stupid pursuit would only end with her bring hurt. Why was she doing this to herself? Didn't she have any sense of self-preservation?

Wearing one's heart on the sleeve might mean courage but it also meant foolishness. Her courage was enthralling but it was also foolish. Yet, it made him feel weak. Why was he falling so weak?