Better Together

69 | mutual

Chapter 69 : Mutual

Ruhaani reached the terrace almost twenty minutes later in search for him after being halted by Nirvan who wanted her help to find his dictionary that the girls had hidden to annoy him.

Her gaze slowly settled on his form, as he stood near the pool staring at the water, lost in his thoughts. A crystal glass of whiskey was in his hand.

She marched towards him. He sighed hearing the footsteps and turned towards her.

"That was quick. Done reading your love letters?" He poked a jibe at her.

Ruhaani fisted her hand, narrowing her eyes on him. "Why are you behaving like this?" her voice was tight and packed with annoyance.

Aadarsh scoffed, looking away from her. She had to ask? Was it really so hard for her to put it all together, despite last night?

"He's gone Aadarsh." Ruhaani spoke once more, her voice carrying a weary tone, barely rising above a whisper.

He slowly turned to look at her. It was the first ever time he saw sorrow in her eyes for her late husband. Maybe he just didn't know how to read those eyes until now. Maybe that sorrow was always there, he was just unable to read it. Or perhaps she was only letting him see it now.

"I know." He sighed, looking away again. He despised the jealousy he felt toward a deceased man. All he yearned for was to have her exclusively—mind, heart, body and soul. The mere notion of another man residing in her heart and mind, ignited his anger.

He was being irrational and immature, and he hated it. This is why he didn't want to embrace this feeling—love, it came with all sorts of messy feelings.

"Why does it matter to you anyway?" she spoke after gathering all her courage.

He turned to look at her sharply, thrown off the axis by her words. "Really?" He questioned her audacity to say that. A blaze passed his eyes.

Ruhaani drew a sharp breath out, looking down at the floor between them. She began moving towards him and looked up at him again. This time, she allowed herself to reveal the depth of her inner conflict, laying bare the emotions that churned within her.

"I don't understand you, Aadarsh. While your words say something, your actions say something else. There are times when you make me feel ...like I made a mistake involving myself with you and then there are times you make me feel like you were the best thing written in my destiny."

Aadarsh blinked, his eyes becoming heavy. He vaguely resonated with that feeling.

"I need words, Aadarsh. I need to know where's the lie, in your words or your actions. You make me a mess." She nearly cried, reaching out to grasp his free hand, as if not doing so would lead her to drown.

Aadarsh simply gazed at her, letting her hold his hand within both of hers, unsure of what emotions he should embrace. Sadness—that she still sought words or anger at himself —that he wasn't doing it right if she still needed words.

"Tell me Aadarsh. What does our relationship mean to you? I am sorry if I am pushing you or acting unreasonable but I can't help myself anymore," her voice was heavy with emotion, tears sprouted in her eyes. "My childhood, in fact all my life, has been a charity. At least until Daadi was there I used to feel like I was ... cared and love truly. But after her, it's just been people, including my own uncle and aunt, treating me like a charity case. I have grown up, hearing them tell the world how much pity they have on me, of how much unlucky I am and how they've done me a favour taking me under their roof and providing for me."