His Lotus

8

Thamarai

Did I take the right decision by coming here late on this chilly and scary night? Of course not! Then why have I arrived here? Because indeed I want to know when he had seen me naked. He seems to be not entirely lying and I couldn't be in peace until I learn in which circumstance he was able to catch me in such a state!

Eerie sounds whiffs past me and I stare at the moon staying alone in the sky with bubbling fear. Mom had always told me to not go outside after 10, as it is the time when ghosts choose to roam outside. And after my marriage was confirmed, I was strictly restricted from leaving my house past 6 pm! Yet here I'm, standing stranded in this dense coconut garden with no clue of whether my mama would really arrive or not...

I just hope I don't get caught by any of my aunties or parents. If I do so, then I would be forbidden to even step out of my home, regardless of whether it's
day or night.

Exhaling an impatient sigh, I stroll to a coconut tree's base and lean the side of my body against it, while looking out for my mama.

The coconut garden is at the back of our houses, adjacent to the agricultural land. And the only way to come here is by exiting through the back door of our houses. "Ss....." I shriek at the sound of the snake and scan the ground with apprehensiveness.

But there isn't anything on the ground that appears quite apparent due to the luminescence of the silver moonlight. All of a sudden, I feel a touch on my shoulder and I jerk, about to scream when a hand encloses my mouth tightly.

"I have asked you to come here at 10. Now the time is 10.25. Your lack of punctuality has made me wait for 25 minutes in this uncanny place," He speaks in my ear and I struggle to get out of his grip.

He then drags me into the coconut garden and vacates me once we were deep inside the place. I breathe raggedly and calm down my thudding heartbeat as I lean against a coconut tree. A few minutes later, as I regain my normal self, I glare at him while blurting out, "Do you know how risky it is to get out of my home in this late night!? I had to wait for my parents to sleep and after that, I had somehow sneakily slipped out just to meet you here in this place, and still you have the nerve to scold me, huh?" Deva mama intimidatingly advances toward me as I finish my words.

I paste my body close to the coconut tree as mama near me and places his hands on either of the trunk of the tree, capturing me with no escape.

"You are talking too much recently Thamarai..." He mutters thoughtfully and I refuse to perk up at him. My stomach is doing weird things. "And how idiotic of you to come here late at this night trusting a guy..." Blinking my eyes, I snap my head up to look at him in pure shock. "You are not a bad...guy..." I stutter, fazed by his cold eyes.

"Are you sure? Hm?" He tugs a loose strand of hair behind my ear with his finger and leans closer to me. Terrified, I facepalm myself, and start to panic and blabber aimlessly. "Look mama...you can't do this to me!! I'm getting married soon...please don't do this. Athai and mama have raised you well and have high hopes for you mama...please don't commit such a thing and shame them..." With my eyes shut tight, I await his movement but all that I heard was his soulful laughter that sends electric waves inside my tummy. Something is seriously wrong with me!

"You're so fun Thamarai," he utters casually with a hint of surprise in his tone. "I'm not here to entertain you mama! Let's get to the point. Tell me when did you see me..." I gulp, not having the guts to say that out aloud.

"You seem very eager..." He trails off and looks into my eyes with a mischievous smile. "Mama...just say it," he continues to stare at me intently.

"Fine, I will take this as just your prank! Now, leave me," I bent down and slide out of his hold, but he holds my wrist tight, pausing me. "I'm not lying," he states sternly. Not looking back at him, I tug my hands to shift away but his grip becomes rigid.

"Leave mama, I'm done with you making fun of me all the time," I pull my hands again but freeze when he speaks. "There's a mole right on the middle of your chest," I didn't dare to see him. I can't. God, how would he know that!?

Did he really see me naked then?

"You were eight. Crying while scratching your body to get rid of the itches that were caused by an insect. Mom told that rubbing cow dung was the only remedy but you were adamant to do so. But you agreed like a good girl when I persuaded you and I was the one who rubbed that cow dung all over your skin. Unlike the bratty you now, that young Thamarai was very affectionate and obedient to me," the rhythm of his words sounds very emotional and my mind turns back to the time when I was free of any insecurities and cling to Deva mama all the time.

"Leave mama..." My voice shakes and I'm afraid of failing to cloak my emotions. "Thamarai," He calls me in a mellow way that I couldn't prevent myself from gazing back at him.

"...you looked very funny with that cow dung all over you," and he began to laugh hysterically while I tilt my head away from him, holding in the tears.

What did I ever expect him to say? Why am I even disappointed?
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