His Lotus

9

Thamarai

On the subsequent day, as usual, at early dawn, I freshen up and wear a red-green half saree.

Afterward, wrapping the towel around my wet hair, I pick the sweeper from the side of our home and start to clean the ground. While doing so, I witness my other cousins, Gayu akka and Rahini mirroring the similar action as mine in front of their houses.

We share a smile and then proceed to do the duty. Once being done with sweeping, I splash water droplets onto the soil and grab the kolam powder container. And that was when my mama's hoarse voice penetrated my ear. "Morning ladies," His house is next to us and so, I could clearly see him stretching his hands to relieve the slumber mood.

"Good morning mama!" Came the enthusiastic chorus from Gayu and Rahini, whose houses are right opposite to mine. Ignoring mama's existence, I proceed to draw the kolam. I'm unsettled by his behavior the last night. I always was. But his demeanor and words yesterday had hurt me deeply and I don't even understand the reason myself.

"Madam won't greet me back, huh?" I refuse to even glance up at him as I work on the kolam with great concentration. "Mama, how is my kolam?" Rahini yells at mama who walks in her direction and regards the kolam with judging eyes.

"You need to improve, but this is fine," He speaks as If he is an expert in kolam and I just roll my eyes while continuing to draw mine. "How about mine mama?" Gayu shows her unfinished kolam which looks pretty nice. However, Deva mama squints his eyes and shakes his head.

"It lacks something very essential. Look at the lines Gayu, they seem like it was drawn by a old woman with trembling hands," Rahini laughs out loud and I chuckle inwardly at his comment as well.

"Mama!" Gayu pouts at him and irritatedly resumes the kolam. A few minutes later, mama starts to circulate around me. "Yo- I cut him off sternly. "Don't even open your mouth mama," I retort, not wanting to heed his fault-finding words.

Gayu lets out a boisterous laugh at mama's dumbfounded expression.

Unexpectedly, mama walks over my kolam, erasing the kolam in its middle portion with his foot. Ah!! the audacity of him! "Deva mama!!" I stand on my foot and was about to curse him but he starts to run away. Furious, I chase him with my kolam container as he dashes into his house, and circles every pillar on his way. Confused by his action, I smash my head against a pillar, but neglecting the pain, I determinedly follow him.

He then enter the kitchen where athai was cooking and uses her to dodge me from reaching him. Athai perplexedly gazes at me and I aggrieved, whine as I was unable to get him. Swiftly, he again rushes outside the kitchen and I chase him out, becoming exhausted and resentful with every passing second.

This time, he choose to stroll through the backdoor and I trail behind him in a jet speed with a strong resolution of catching him! Unpredicted, he pauses as soon as he was in the backyard and I crash against his chest, with the kolam consisting bowl flying into the air and showering the white powder on top of our heads.

My eyes bulge as mama tugs me near him to rescue me from getting hit by the bowl that was descending the air.

I look at him with a strange feeling rising in my stomach while he sees me with a cheeky smile. "Am I so handsome up close?" He quirks his eyebrows. Snapping out from my reverie, I push him back and create a decent distance between us.

"I hate you so much!" I pour out the words that come to my mouth in the heat of the moment. "That's just your tongue speaking. But your eyes seem to say something else," he responds in a nonchalant manner and ruffles his hair to get rid of the powder.

My heart stops for a second at his charming beauty but I collect myself together before he could grip onto the meaning behind my look.

"It's fine...I know, I'm irresistible," he boasts with a smile. "Don't be delusional mama. Not every girl will go behind you!," replying curtly, I bend over to fetch the bowl and leave the place without waiting for his answer.

Subsequently, we all prepared ourselves to visit the Kuladeivam temple (family deity) and had breakfast together at Deva mama's house. He was normal, chatting away with my cousins, and never glanced my way once.

I know it's wrong to crave for his attention when I will be engaged to another person shortly but I can't help wanting him.

On the way to the temple, inside the van, Deva mama and my other cousins were dancing and enjoying. I wanted to do the same but as I'm the soon-to-be bride, my mother, and aunts curbed me to involve in any kind of entertainment.

It's illogical but that's how some of their rules are.

Once we arrived at the temple, I walk alongside my mother inside and we all gathered in front of the shrine and shut our eyes to pray.

Just then, someone pulled my braid and I confusedly look back only to find my innocent feigning mama. He has started it again!

God!

Angered by his action, I move away from the shrine to another one alone.
But he follows me there too. "What is your problem mama!" I hiss, joining my palms to pray to god. "I can't help disturbing you," he says as If it's a matter of fact.

"Ponga (just go)" I dismiss him and shut my eyes to worship the deity when mama starts to pluck the jasmine flower in my head. I absolutely loathe him...but somewhere in me, it renders me desire him and I'm terrified of succumbing to those feelings...

"Please leave me alone mama," I whine, exhausted by his annoyance.

"No, you have to bear my torture for this entire lifetime of yours," He blurts out, and simultaneously, the temple bell rings, as If affirming his statement.

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