His Lotus

20

Thamarai

He is a crazy man!

He always does whatever he wants with me and then goes on to behave as If he hasn't done anything wrong. In this case, I haven't confronted him yet but something in me tells me to stay put and not ask him about the same...

I couldn't bear it If he says that he hugged me in that soulful way for fun and it was to tease me.

Hence I decided to remain inside my room and pacify myself. My body could still feel the warmth of his embrace and I could even smell his manly cologne on me.

For a few minutes, I lay on the mattress, looking dejectedly at the ceiling. Afterward, releasing an exhausted sigh, I went downstairs to watch television...

I silently do the same after bolting the front door. However, as noon came by, my parents arrived.
They informed me that my engagement would be held on the upcoming Thursday.

I wasn't excited, neither was I dull. I just didn't feel anything at all.

Later as we went to Deva mama's home to have the lunch together with all our family members, my parents announced my engagement date to everyone.

As expected, all of them were happy for me except I and Deva mama who had no reaction on his face which I found as I sneakily glanced at him.

I wonder why he was acting very strangely these days. I can't pinpoint any reasonable grounds for his behaviour. Only he could answer it! But I don't have the guts to enquire him about it after the incident that happened back in my home.

Post lunch, we all sat together on the porch of Deva mama's home.

Deva mama was among my aunties, nodding and replying normally to their words yet I can easily see past his deception. He isn't himself.

Meanwhile, we, cousins were talking about anything and everything except Maithili akka who lends me odd stares often...

I neglect it for a few times but then decided to ask her directly. I'm done with everyone acting bizarrely!!

"Tell me, what happened?" I query sternly. "Nothing..." She trails off and looks away. "Akka! Do you think I'm a fool to have not noticed your stares? You clearly have something to say to me..." She darts her eyes to my face and ushers me to sit close to her as If she is about to tell me a secretive matter.

"Do you like Velu?" She whispers. "Um...yes," I state uncertainly. I actually don't like him yet, but I'm trying to like him...

"Fine. It's just you don't appear so delighted upon your approaching engagement," akka blurts out conclusively but my gut feeling insisted that she is concealing something from me.

"That is it akka? Is this why you were sending me those weird glances?" She nods gloomily. "Are you by chance still not over Deva mama's rejection?" I put forth the question that comes to my mind as the first thing. "I'm in the process of forgetting him," she says in a flat tone.

"Seri (okay) I'm going to my home. Experiencing a slight migraine..." She gets up and leaves swiftly while I just peek at her back, unsettled by her responses.

Something is wrong with her...

Subsequently, I heed my Deva mama excusing himself from the aunties and climbing upstairs, probably to pack. I will miss him...I already am.

"Thamara!" I shriek when I heed him shouting my name from upstairs. God, what is he devising to do to me now!?
Gulping, I act oblivion to his call. However, when my mother heeds it, she sends me a frown. "Can't you hear him calling for you?" She asks in a berating tone and I rapidly stand up and rush inside.

I unhurriedly step up the stairs and cautiously lean my head to peek at his unlocked room. He is wandering inside, seeming tensed as he ruffles his hair frequently.

Gaining a bit of courage, I saunter to his room. "Mama," he pauses at my call.

"Why were you looking for me?" I quirk my eyebrows questioningly, striving my best to not melt in his eyes and not remind myself of the affectionate hug that we shared...

"Do you really...like the groom?" Huh? Was my no-reaction has rose doubts in everyone's brain? "Yes mama, why do you ask?" I inquire further doubtfully.

"Just wanted to confirm," saying that, he strolls towards me. "I can't get leave a day before your engagement. So you can anticipate my presence on the morning of the event..." I nod my head, focusing my view on his shirt rather than his eyes.

"Does he speak to you decently Thamara...? Tell me If he hurts you in any way, okay!? I will teach him a good lesson!" My heart pricks at his words and tears are threatening to fill up my eyes as I struggle to respond to him.

"Thamara," I snap my eyes up at him and all I wanted to tell him at the moment was that I love him and it hurts so much.

"Okay, mama.." I use a small smile as a curtain to conceal my true emotions behind it. But then he does the unexpected and I heard my heart beat thundering loudly in my ear and throat...

He kissed my forehead.

A tear slides across my cheeks as I stand there with my forehead tingling and heart bursting with unmentionable anguish!

Without a word, I turn around and leave the place quickly as possible.

I can't handle it...

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