His Lotus

15

Deva

'One of my friends got into an accident. I'm going to visit her in the hospital and so I won't be able to attend the office today. Miss you baby :('

I scan her message and send an 'It's okay' in reply. But then added a 'Miss you too' in return, just so I wouldn't be hurting her.

I booked a train ticket that morning to go to my hometown and attend the office as usual. The drama between Harsh and Lali unfolded habitually and everyone minds their own business, tired of their regular and unending tale.

The exception might be me as I regard about Lali's pathetic condition. She needs an urgent reality check, yet the sad thing is she isn't willing to look past her love for him.

Hence I let them be.

While the time skipped by, I actively do my work and exit the office at the termination time. "Can I accompany you? Lali won't spare me If I'm here!" Harsh questions impatiently as I hop on my bike.

"No," I state sternly, starting my bike to dash out of the entrance. "I swear I wouldn't flirt with your cousins!" He presses and I look at his pleading face discreetly. "I don't trust you," he sighs in defeat.

Later, I locked my apartment safely, packed a few essentials, and came to the railway station. Once seated inside a compartment, I message Iniya to learn about her friend's state.

'She is doing fine'

'I'm on my way to my hometown. Will be back on Monday,' I inform her and she replies swiftly with 'enjoy' accompanied by some excited emojis.

'You be productive as well on the weekend and enjoy your time,' I type away.

'Oh, you would be surprised,' she sends a winking sign subsequently and we end our chat with that.

And then I plug my earphone into my ear and play some melody songs to pass the time. I reach our village at early dawn and I was greeted by the sight of Thamarai drawing a beautiful Kolam.

Upon seeing her, my mood gets brightened up immediately and I couldn't help but do some mischievous act to trigger her anger.

Thus I purposely walk sneakily to surprise her. In order to draw the kolam, she was turned backward, hence it became an easy task for me to catch her off-guard.

"Boo!" I touch her shoulder and she shrieks and falls onto the kolam that she had half-drawn. I laugh heartily at her condition while she looks at me with immeasurable resentment.

I expectantly wait to heed her angry words but she instead stays silently and begins to draw the kolam again without minding my presence.

"Thamara..." I call as soon as I pause my laughter. My heart becomes frozen at her dismissal of me.

"So you don't speak to me, huh?" She stays mute, her brows furrowed as she continues drawing. "I don't understand Thamara. The other girls do have a reason to stay mad at me. But what is it with you? You have never loved me, right? Then why do you overact like this?" She pauses her action and perks up at me with cold eyes. I again gaze at her with eagerness, hoping she would talk but she remains quiet and gets back to drawing.

I fist my hands furiously at her attitude.

"Or is it that you loved me so much without showing off like the other girls?" I ask, to confirm my suspicion over her once uttered statement of 'loved me'.

"Love doesn't comprise the romantic perspective, alone mama. It means many things and one of them is respect. I respected you mama but you have lost it with your own actions!" She states without any hesitation and I was left to come to terms with the fact that she has never loved me with amorous intentions but it was just respect...

My ego tips up at her words.

"Liar," The word roll out of my mouth spontaneously. "Huh? Did I hurt your ego again? Handle it, mama. As I said before, not every girl will want to be with a person so egoistical as you," I squint my eyes at her.

"Fine. But tell me why have you lost your respect for me?" I urge her, wanting to at least regain her respect.

"Firstly, your way of rejecting my cousins wasn't acceptable. You could have acted more gently. Secondly, your ego has gotten out of hand. And thirdly, it's not appropriate to be with a drunken girl at night," she says confidently and continues drawing again.

"Whatever!" I amuse, disturbed by her rightful words.

"Truth hurts, doesn't it mama?" She coos sarcastically. I lend her a rather irked look before walking up to my home.

My parents were happy to welcome me and after I give them a warm hug, I went to my room and plan to take a short nap. However, as I plop onto the bed, my thoughts flies to Thamarai.

It's impossible to get her trail behind me and the fact that it is impossible is having me try my best to have her come all over me!

I roll on the bed, confused entirely.

Why does she have so much impact on me!? Why do I fucking care whether she respects me or not and loves me or not!?

Just freaking why? I know I have already convinced myself by saying it might be just an extra interest I have on Thamarai but the conclusion isn't settling my wavering heart.
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