Finding myself (18+)

Epilogue

I'm attentively rolling up the stockings on my leg not to pull a thread and destroy the second one today. Yet my eyes cannot leave the white dress hanging close to the window. It's so hard to focus on a small task like that when something so much bigger is waiting for me outside.

I'm overwhelmed by the multitude of undergarments and hairpins. They're uncomfortable and make me wonder if they're all in the right places, which only increases my anxiety.

"It's not like it's supposed to be."

I turn fast and march towards the window. The words coming through it weren't the ones I expected to hear on my wedding day.

Even if I should, I couldn't ignore it; after so much effort and organization, everything has to be flawless. So I move fast to open the window and check on whatever is happening outside.

"What the hell are you doing there?" I ask Andrew, who I shouldn't be seeing so soon.

He turns around and raises his head, looking at me with a grin. His tuxedo moves when he shifts, proving he's not wearing a tie or a shirt.

And he would be happy waiting for me on the altar just like that.

"The flowers weren't placed as you set. Someone has to keep the order." He grins again, noticing my frown and curiosity while inspecting it from the window. I bend over it, so I can peek at the arrangements that are not in my line of vision.

Even though I should be pleased that it isn't raining on our outdoor wedding day, my mind is consumed by the fact that they are decorating it all wrong. It took me so long to settle everything. To meticulously consider each and every detail and effectively handle them to achieve the wedding of our dreams.

And I'm talking especially about the seating arrangements. God save them if they mix with the seating chart. Something that seems so simple, but it took me days to figure out how to place everyone in a way they would enjoy, considering who they know and shared interests, so people at the same table have subjects in common so that no one would be lost, and everyone would have a good time.

I thought about who will be closer to the buffet and who'll be closer to the dancefloor. Aunt Margaret has to be closer to the toilet if we don't want the same accident to happen as at my cousin Philip's wedding.

If I only knew organizing a wedding required so much work, I would have done solely the simple one we did in London one year ago.

"Hey..." He shouts, and I shift to look at him. "Are you wearing your dress yet?"

"No," I frown at his question. I was waiting for Dani to help me dress it, but she left the room to pick champagne, to drink before we did our make-up.

"Come in the groom's room. There are some other things we have to fix before the ceremony."

"What else did they do wrong?" I should be relaxing right now, worrying only about keeping my white dress clean and all the hairpins fixed on my hair.

"Meet me there."

I take a robe to cover my lingerie and leave the room in the direction of his.

He is waiting, leaning against the door and gawking at my legs in stockings. For an unknown reason, he loves stockings.

He pulls me by the arm inside the room and then guides me inside a big closet containing his classic jacket, shirt, and tie on a hanger.

"Why are you bringing me here?" I turn my eyes away from it so I don't see it. I'm avoiding anything that could bring bad luck.

"I don't know where your brother is, but he'll return soon."

"He can help us fix whatever needs to be fixed!"