Love You Goodbye II H.S

10*

A/N

Hey besties, welcome to the tenth chapter of Love You Goodbye! I hope you've been enjoying it so far, there will be lots of chapters to come after this one.

This a lil reminder that all the photos at the top of the chapters are the outfits that H wears during the chapters. As I said in the last author's note, this chapter would be heavier than any of the others I have written, so yeah.

This chapter has self-harm, so if reading this chapter means you might fall into old or new habits, then I 100000% suggest not reading this or the rest of the book because it only gets heavier.

We'll Be Alright-Harry Styles, Fine Line.

All my love,

-M

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Self-harm, blood and smut mentioned*

-Madelyn Cline-

It's 6:30 a.m., Harry has left for the gym and I'm standing looking at myself in the mirror, how disgusting I looked with the scars on my forearms. Glancing over to my makeup bag I found my wrapped blade, I tried to ignore the feeling but I couldn't help myself, I unwrapped the blade packaging to see a little shiny metal blade.

I sat on the floor of the bathroom, my arms tingling, the old cut became new and skin became the colour red with blood trickling down my forearms. No matter how many cuts I made, it never felt like I had done enough. 

Tears forming in my eyes I put my head back against the wall, I heard the hotel door click, I prayed it wasn't Harry. it surprisingly wasn't Harry but Zayn walked into the bathroom to see me on the floor, blade in my hand, blood dripping down my forearms.

"Holy Shit Maddie what happened,"

Tears ran down my cheeks as I tried to find what to say, "I don't know I t-tried to ignore the feeling but it didn't work,"

Zayn found one of the many facecloths in the sink cabinet, wet it with cold water and slowly dabbed up the blood that was on my forearms, "Do you have band-aids or do I need to get some"

"There are band-aids in my bag,"

He nodded and found the box of band-aids, once I was all cleaned up Zayn sat opposite me on the bathroom floor, "Do you want to talk about it,"

"I had been self-harm-free for about a year before one night when I was at Harry's parent's house when I was in the bathroom and I did it twice and then I was clean for just under a month until now,"

He nodded, "I'm not trying to be invasive but why did you hurt yourself again,"

Tears started forming in my eyes as Zayn looked at me with his hazel brown eyes "I was in the bathroom and I saw the blade in its packaging, I tried to ignore the feeling but my arms went tingly and my bad thoughts took over, I tried to stop myself I really did but it didn't matter how many cuts I did, it felt like I hadn't done enough,"

"I'm so sorry that you had to take care of your best friend's shitty girlfriend who hurts herself, I'm sorry that I have opened up so much to you instead of Harry because I'm scared of what he will think of me, I'm so sorry that I've been a wreck with my food and starving myself, I'm so sorry," I confessed, tears continued to stream down my face.

Zayn came over to where I was sitting and hugged me, "You shouldn't be sorry, and you're not a shitty girlfriend to Harry, you just need to find the right moment to open up to him and you're not a wreck, you just need to find a proper way to heal through all the stuff in the past,"