drabbles

on stubborn love

another old one!! enjoy <3

_____________________

I noticed her just before she entered, picking up on her signature warm aura and slightly sweet smell of cinnamon and nutmeg, and perked up almost instantly.

She spotted me immediately after, hurriedly closing the door and dashing over to scoop me up into a hug. I couldn't hold back my smile as she nuzzled into my shoulder with a sigh.

"Oh, Ellie, you have no idea how great it is to see you. It's been such an awful day, I barely managed to survive the whole school day to make it home and see you again..." words spilled out of her mouth as she put me down to take off her sneakers, letters jumbling together as she let loose all of her frustration.

I didn't mind the barrage of words, and sat patiently beside her as she undid her shoelaces and took off her socks with another relieved sigh.

Holding her dirty socks in one hand and grabbing her school bag with another, she carefully stepped around me and made a beeline for her bedroom. I trotted along behind faithfully, silent as she continued to complain about her day.

As always, she dropped everything she was holding on the floor of her room before faceplanting onto her bed, seemingly exhausted. I hopped onto the bed with her and lay down beside her, tuning back into her rant just in time to hear about her latest crush. "...and Will just wouldn't leave me alone today! N-not that I really minded—ah, I mean—um, well, I guess I don't mind his slight clinginess...? It's kinda cute-"

I fixed her with a deadpan stare.

"Hey, why're you looking at me like that? c'mon, Ellie, it's not like I like him or anything-" I cut off her flustered defence with a paw to the mouth, causing her to pout angrily.

"What was that cat punch for? It's true, I don't like him that way! It's not like I think of his cute messy curls, or how he smells like the sun, or his blush when I tease him—ohyeahIhaveacrushonhimnevermindyouwereright," she blushed and groaned at the realisation. I licked my paw smugly and received a defiant stuck-out tongue in response.

But when she turned away to start panicking over her newfound crush...I dropped my paw and swallowed. 153rd life, and you still pick someone else over me. I looked up at her, and though her short brown hair and bright black eyes were far from the long black hair and mesmerising grey eyes I fell in love with all those years ago, she was still exactly the same.

That same little eyebrow twitch when she was in denial of something, that same way she'd turn completely red when she gets flustered, that same beautiful smile that never changed no matter what form she took. She's still the girl I sacrificed everything to be with.

There is a way for the both of you to be together again—but it requires an enormous sacrifice. they'd told me. Anything. Please. I promised I'll find her again, at any cost. I'd sworn without a second thought.

But even after they told me what I'd give up, I still didn't give up hope. Hope that she'll remember me, that even if she didn't recall she'll still love me—no matter if it was platonic or romantic.

But while my eyes hadn't left her for the last few centuries, my love for her never dying, my faith never failing—her eyes were always facing away from me, always at another person that would end up overshadowing me.

It brought me joy and agony to see her happy with someone else. No matter what form I took, what role I played—the lovesick childhood friend, the new student with a cool air of mystery, the coffee shop waitress that flirted with her every morning, even the stray cat that she found and brought home—I was never her first priority.

She always found someone else, someone she loved more, and I would be pushed and shoved and dragged into the background, forgotten and ignored.

"Ellie, what's wrong?"

I jumped as I was suddenly addressed, glancing up to see her face right in front of mine. I scrambled backwards, startled. I hadn't even heard her stop rambling about that Will, being so lost in my thoughts.

"Ellie? Are you okay? You looked so sad for a moment there," she questioned, eyes filled with worry. I meowed and bumped my head against her hand to reassure her.

"Aw, are you worried that I'll forget you because of Will? Don't worry, I could never neglect my best friend!" she giggled, and I couldn't help but believe her with that beautiful smile that felt like warm honey.

This isn't so bad, honestly. At least I still get some time before she forgets me. I thought idly. Yawning, I snuggled sleepily into her side, enjoying her head scratches and back rubs. I stretched comfortably in the evening sunlight that hit her bed at just the right angle as she set off on her lovesick gushing again.

Not a drop of regret filled my heart during the last one-and-a-half century, not even when she broke the same promise of never forgetting me over and over again, not even when I confessed for the umpteenth time but was still shot down politely and kindly, not even when I waited and waited for her to just look at me, dammit—I've been here all along in every lifetime of yours but you've never seen me, really seen me as something other than just a casual friend or a distant acquaintance.

But that's okay. Because I meant what I said that day when they slit your throat and forced me to watch while I screamed my voice raw. I promised that I'll find you again, in another life, where we could love each other without being judged for it. And I did. I paid the price of my soul and your love, and I chose to stay with you even if that meant you'll never love me as much as I love you.

And that's enough. Because I love you with all my heart, and when you love someone you'll do anything to stay by their side and protect them as much as you can. Maybe it's creepy, maybe it's hopeless, but I'll keep waiting, always behind you, supporting you as you love over and over—just not with me. Even when my soul is but a withered shell, my body but ashes in the wind and my mind but a fading whisper, my love for you will still hold strong, steady and undying against the curse of time.

I promise.