drabbles

on stupid things

When I was smaller, I had this habit of keeping every small attractive thing I got my hands on.

And no, it wasn't magpie style like piling up every shiny thing I saw, it was a literal collection of every tiny thing that caught my eye for more than a millisecond.

I hoarded stray buttons, paper clips, minuscule origami animals, weird metal parts that probably fell out of some appliance, countless springs from broken pens, tiny fake gemstones and diamonds from clothes, a key that fell off my electronic dictionary's keyboard, a small tree figurine that broke off from my favourite music box, a random tightly-rolled ball of aluminium foil, even a tiny rubber button inscribed with a white Y that wasn't really a button, just the blue cover and nothing else and millions more of random objects I scrounged from the floor of tuition centres, streets, even my own home. Some of them are still carefully stored away in a box I keep safely in my drawer, although most were lost due to their size causing them to easily disappear into the void of time the second I blink.

It was like some weird natural instinct that made those insignificant objects call out to me, drawing my gaze and interest. I couldn't fully tell you why I did it, and I still can't. Some form of attachment to those items had formed the moment they caught my attention, and I adored them like an obsessive fan coos over a limited edition piece of merch.

Maybe it was the desire for something that was just mine? Something that was so small and stupid it wouldn't be important enough to be used as leverage against me or taken away as punishment, but yet unique enough that it stands out to me. Something that I could keep in a forgotten corner, tucked away and glanced at or fiddled with whenever I was bored. Something I could love for no reason other than the fact that I could.

It's stupid, just like how I'm sitting on the floor with my back to the wall and my phone in my hands at 1:22am when I have class tomorrow at 9am, typing about something I barely remember and would probably forget by next morning.

But maybe life can be stupid, you know? It's too short for us to not do random, dumb stuff for no reason, stuff that we can laugh about in the future but still recall fondly because it was a part of us, right? Maybe that's what makes life so refreshing, the idea that we could just do that stupid thing because we can.

So the next time you see something glinting on the street which draws your curiosity, go check it out. Don't get murdered, naturally, but don't let the moment pass by either. Go look at that weird drawing someone sketched on the wall and the funny poster in the hallway that makes no sense. It's stupid and insignificant, but sometimes life can seem just a little brighter when you pay attention to those small things, you know?

I don't know. It's 1:27am now and I'm really tired and spouting absolute bullshit no one will probably read anyway, so who cares? I'm going to keep writing stupid stuff that doesn't mean anything because I want to and because I can. I'm going to keep doing dumb shit that people laugh over because it makes me happy to see people laugh because of me. I'm going to live my life the way I want because it's my life and I want my life to be filled with small, stupid things that make me ridiculously happy for no reason. That's all.