The Pornstar Martini

Chapter 17

Present...

Emma had started the car. Regina noticed the vehicle moved the same way as it had ten years ago. Neither of them spoke. She was still comprehending the fact that Emma had slept with people for money.

"I don't get why this surprises you so much. You used your breasts too, to get cigarettes. There's not much of a difference."

Regina didn't know where to start to explain to Emma that it was, in fact, very different. Regina was upset about it, too. Not just because Emma had to do this as a teen, but because of herself. She hated that she was thinking of her own feelings right now, but she couldn't help it.

"I'm surprised, because whenever I was flirting with someone at a party, you took every opportunity to make sure it wouldn't lead anywhere. You just thrusted a pornstar martini in my hands and demanded me upstairs, or somewhere else. You didn't want me to touch anyone else, so to hear that you did, hurts me. I already know I didn't mean shit to you and I know I was simply your plaything, but.."

"Is that really what you believe?" Emma started driving a little slower.

"Yes. I've never even doubted that."

Emma stopped the car in the middle of the road and put her head on the steering wheel. Regina didn't know what to do with this, so she simply looked behind to see if there were any cars waiting. Fortunately, Emma had chosen a calm street to stop.

"God, Regina, you saved me!" Emma suddenly said, much to Regina's confusion.

"What?"

"Do you think I liked sleeping with people for money? I didn't! Nor did I like an abusive, alcoholic mother or teachers at school who couldn't stand me. You were the only thing in my life that was real and easy. You were sweet, no matter what. You didn't have any expectations of me, you just accepted me for who I was."

She was quiet for a moment and again, Regina was too baffled to say anything. "I lived for those Wednesday nights in my car. It was the only time I didn't feel like a total failure. I loved you, Regina. Perhaps not the same way and intensity as you loved me, but you meant a lot to me."

A tear rolled down Emma's cheeks and Regina could tell this had been hard for Emma to confess. It felt odd, hearing the words she'd longed to hear many times, but they didn't satisfy her as much as she'd thought they would.

"Is this supposed to make everything easier? Am I supposed to forgive you now, without a doubt, because you didn't actually hate me, even though you treated me like you did?"

"No," Emma replied with a confident shrug. "I don't expect you to forgive me. That's one of the first things I said to you. I merely figured this was part of sharing my story. You can forget it. It doesn't change anything."

She let out a shaky breath and continued driving the car, peacefully. Regina stared at Emma and decided to do what she'd told her. She was going to forget Emma had ever said anything about her true feelings in the past, because the longer she thought about it, the more it started to mean.

Regina didn't know where Emma was driving the car, until she saw the city Town Hall coming into view and figured Emma knew she worked here. Fortunately, this was where she'd parked her car.

She'd wanted to stretch her legs and it wasn't more than a twenty minute walk to the Alley, so she'd decided that would be a great way to travel. She hadn't anticipated it to rain so soon.

"Let me take you out to dinner," Emma said as she parked the car in front of the building. Regina wasn't sure she'd heard the woman right. She didn't think she'd ever looked this confused.