The Lost One

Chapter 32 ~ Door

Trigger Warning! Self Harm!⚠️
Aria's POV:
"Christian I'm sorry" I say. Tears were rolling down my face. He told me about his addiction when we got home, after I got off of work. I felt disgusted at myself.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Christian I'm sorry" I say and sit on the couch. I was sobbing at this point. He was on my other couch. Listening to me apologize like a little kid.

He wouldn't say anything, he just watched me and I knew he was angry. "Stop crying" he says and leans forward. I stand up and stand behind the couch.

I knew I shouldn't have done it.

"Christian how the fuck do you not want me to cry when you tell me you were an addict and me smoking did something to you. Christian I'm sorry!" I say and wipe my stinging eyes. "It happened. We can't go back and change it. If you stop crying we can forget about it" he says unbothered.

He hates me.

"I'm just going to go to my room" I say quietly and enter my room. I shut the door and lean against it. I cry more, harder. I tried hard to quiet the cries with my hands but the more I did the harder I cried.

"Open the door" he says from the other side. "Christian go" I say "Aria open the door" he repeats "no, go home Christian. Go be with your family. Don't come in the morning, I'll call, someone" I say and lock my door before getting up from the ground and going to the corner of my bed.

"Aria Irvine Lancaster open the fucking door or I will sit here all fucking night until you do" he says and rattles the door knob. "CHRISTIAN PLEASE GO!" I scream. He doesn't reply. I sit there and surround myself in the thoughts of Christian and how he must have felt the whole time while I was high.

Having to take care of me the way his mother and sister did to him. How he got abused by his father like how I did. Everything made me feel disgusted in myself. I wanted a release.

I start raiding my room looking for any object to feel this release, anything. I needed something.

"Where is it" I whisper like a maniac to myself. I continue looking, quickly.

I felt like I had hurt Christian in the ways my father and mother hurt me. I felt like the abuser and not the abused. Like the knife not the wound. I felt as if I need to feel as much pain as me and Christian both did. I wanted to hurt myself like how I had hurt Christian. I couldn't not feel pain after doing that to him.

Lighter.

I grab it and light it. I look at the red and yellow burning flame. Manically, I smile. I turn off the lighter and pull my sweats down. I sit in between my bed and my counter where my TV stands. I lean on my bed and light the lighter.

I open my legs and watch as the flame comes closer and closer to my inner thighs.
~
Christian's POV:
I'm kicking her fucking door down whether she likes it or not. It was too quiet for my liking. Aria wasn't quiet around me. Even if she's mad or crying I'd be able to hear something but I can't. I pull my ear away from her door.

I turn around and kick the door as hard as I can. It swings open. Aria gasps and I turn around.

She was on the ground. Next to her bed. Her pants down and tears coming down. I look at her confused then look at the floor.

Lighter.

No, no, no. Baby please tell me you didn't do what I think it is you did. Aria my love, please don't let what I'm thinking, be right.

I stand there, shocked at my view.

"Christian..." she barley says and stands up from the floor. She puts her sweats back on. She picks the lighter up and stuffs it in her pocket quickly.