Chapter 1-13: Terror of the Terrafirmians

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Lena showed up just after dinner, saying she wanted to go to the Duckburg Cinema to see a movie with us. Beakley wasn't sure until Lena said it was an educational film. Launchpad drove us to the cinema, insisting to watch with us. The movie turned out to be a slasher fic, leaving me kind of bored. Slashers just aren't my kind of movie.

As we exited the cinema, Dewey exclaimed, "Oh man, that is classic cinema!"

Webby agreed, "So good!"

Lena exclaimed, "Oh, and remember when the surgeon tried to cut the mole woman in half and she multiplied into a million mole babies and ate him?!"

She and Webby fake roared at each other, and Lena fake screamed.

Beakley said, "You said this was an educational film. Suitable for all ages."

Lena covers, "Uh, it's a cautionary tale about the dangers of mole monsters, and everyone could use a lesson I'm chainsaw safety."

Louie says, "Lame! Where was the drama? The heart? The needlessly expensive car crash mayhem?"

I say, "Yeah, it was okay. I like horror movies as much as the next teen, but I prefer thrillers that make you question reality. Those are so good!"

Huey says, "Even if mole men did exist, why attack anyone in the shower? With the water running, there wouldn't be enough traction to attack anyone above the knee. Totally phony."

Webby says, "What is with you guys? It says right on the poster 'based on an actual true novel'."

Huey holds up his JWG, saying, "This is the only book I trust. If it's not in the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook, then it's not a thing."

Webby asks, "What about were-ducks?"

Huey says, "Nope."

Webby asks "Trifoxes?"

Huey says, "Not a thing."

Webby asks, "Well, what about the legendary Terrafirmians of Duckburg?"

Huey look through his book, saying, "Let's see. Pterodactyl, terror-dactyl, terrible twos... Nope, no Terrafirmians. Must not exist."

Webby laughs nervously, then asks, "What? Terrafirmians? The mythical underground race that live below our very city?"

Huey says, "No, that's ridiculous."

Webby exclaims, "No, you're ridiculous!"

Huey says, "Izzy, please back me up here."

I say, "Sorry Hue, but I'm more inclined to believe Webby."

He says, "You were a Junior Woodchuck, too! How can you believe this nonsense?!"

I retaliate, "Look, a year ago I wouldn't have believed in magic either, but our adventures have proven me wrong."

Lena rests her arms on mine and Huey's shoulders, saying, "Children, children, there's an easy way to settle this. Let's go find them ourselves."

She gestures at the abandonded subway, but Beakley clears her throat. We turn to her, and she glares at us, silently discouraging us.

Luckily, Launchpad starts destroying a poster, yelling, "Evil! Evil! You took the form of a poster! You won't get Launchpad!"

We took the opportunity to run down to the subway while everyone else was distracted pulling Launchpad away. I wouldn't normally disobey an adult's rules, but something about Lena makes me act different.

Once we're already down the subway stairs, Huey says, "Wait, shouldn't we tell someone where we're going before we blindly explore a network of dark and abandoned subway tunnels?"

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