Frazzled Rose

|A Sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀ Uɴᴇxᴘᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ|

The car stopped with a screech, a few feet away from the cliff precisely. I climbed off the car and banging the door behind my back, walked towards the cliff brisk steps, stopping at the edge.

I followed my gaze down to my feet, realising that I was just a inch away from my end. My eyes were continuously fixed at a piece of rock, which was all set to detach from the edge and fall to its death. It tried hard to stick back but its destiny was to fall away. I didn't blink till the time it dispersed away from my eye sight.

Maybe it was helping me getting acquainted with the depth down there.

'Aap bohot strong hai Avyaansh. Kabhi kabhi na hum realise nahi karte, lekin humare andar itni strenght hoti hai poori duniya se lad jate hai. Bas use samajne ki der hoti hai. Bachpan se bina kisi support ke, pyaar ke akele bada hona, easy nahi hai. But aapne yeh bhi kar ke dikaya hai. Toh aa aisa kabhi mat manna ki aap weak hai. Life mein na bohot ups and downs aayenge lekin kuch bhi permanent nahi hoga, na ups, na downs. Agar ups mein celebrate karna jante hai aap, toh downs mein usse deal karna bhi seekhna chahiye. Jab bhi low feel ho toh just say that your are strong, aadhi pareshani wahi khatam ho jayegi. I am always there for you. Lekin agar kisi din aapke saath na hou, and aap low feel karein, zindagi khatam hoti hui dikhe, toh just remember, apne liye nahi toh mere liye you have to stay strong, achieve everything jiske kabhi aapne sapne dekhe the. I trust you the most Avynaash, I know you are strong and aap weak padne walo mein se nahi hai.'

(You are really strong Avyaansh. Many a times we don't realise, but we have so much strenght in us that we can fight from the world. We just need to understand it. It's not easy to grow up without love and support, but you did that too, so never consider yourself weak. There would many ups and downs in our life, but nothing would be permanent, neither the ups nor the downs. If we know to celebrate in our ups, then we need to learn to deal with our downs too. I am always there for you, but if someday I am not there by your side, and you feel low, then you have to stood up strong for me, achieve everything which you have dreamt for. I trust you the most Avyaansh, I know you are strong and you are not the one to fall weak.)

These words rang yet again into my ears and and my feet automatically made their way a step back.

35th unsuccessful attempt to end it there and then. My head hung down and a drop of tear fell onto the sand, soaking it under drop of water.

Being a loner since childhood, I have learnt to make my heart stiff, not fall for any kind of lollipops. I had always made my mind to achieve everything my mind and heart wanted. Then why not this?

What effect has a peanut sized girl done to me, her words have always ceased me from attempting something which I am wanting from long. 

Whenever I make my mind to achieve something, there's no way I lose. My mind, my heart always wants to achieve it, by hook or by crook.
Then why not now? Why are her words playing with me? Why are her words mattering to me to this extent, even though she has left.

Every time I fail to jump, my mind is always filled up with these questions. Why?

'I was just waiting for you to step back. Remember! Ending your life is never the solution. It's just another name for running away from your problems. Coward can be a eligible word for it.', a voice rang into my ears making me astonished seeing someone's guts to call me a coward on my face.

I turned only to find a young girl, precisely 25. She was comfortably sitting on the bonnet of her car with her legs crossed and her hands rest happily behind. 

A sheepish smile was playing on her lips.

'How dare you call me out with such names you little girl?', I fumed but a punch of shock again hit my face seeing no response from the other side, but just a carefree smile.