GOLD RUSH |C. BING|

THE ONE WITH THE CANDY HEARTS

"YOU CAN NOT do this." Monica scolded as phoebe, me, and her walked into Central Perk.

"Do what, do what?" Rachel asked as she was waitressing.

"Roger wants to take her out tomorrow night." I inform as I take off my coat.

"No! Phoebes! Don't you remember why you dumped the guy?" Rachel exclaimed as we walked towards the couch.

"Cause he was creepy, and mean, and a little frightening, All right, still, it's nice to have a date on Valentine's Day!" Phoebe sat on the couch.

"But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do." Monica sighs.

"Well, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?" Rachel asks Chandler and Joey.

"Actually, tomorrow night kinda depends on how tonight goes." Joey smirks.

"Oh, uh, listen, about tonight..." Chandler begins.

"No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend." Joey argues.

"Yes, I know, but her friend sounds like such a--" Chandler starts before Joey interrupts.

Joey sighs, "Pathetic mess? I know, but--come on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', ch-ching!" Rachel throws a roll at him, "Thanks. Look, you have not
been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this."

"Hi. She said yes." Ross comes back from talking to some woman.

"Yes! Way to go, man!" Chandler hugs him and there's the sound of a crack, "Still got the egg, huh?"

˖ ࣪✦ : ✧･ﾟ˖ ࣪✦ : *✧･

"OKAY, OKAY, ROGER was creepy, but he was nothing compared to Pete Carney." Rachel said as she peeled a carrot for our dinner.

"Which one was Pete Carney?" Monica asked.

"He was the weeper. Remember that guy who used to cry every time we had sex. "Was it good for you?"" Rachel mimicked.

"Yeah, well, I'll take a little crying any day over Howard-the-"I-win"-guy. "I win! I win!" I went out with the guy for two months--I didn't get to win once." Monica walked to the fridge.

"Been there." I laughed.

"How did we end up with these jerks? We're good people!" Rachel complained.

"I don't know. Maybe we're some kinda magnets." Monica answered as she walked back to the table.

"I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch." Phoebe jumped in.

"There's more beer, right?" I asked.

"Oh! You know my friend Abby who shaves her head? She said that if you want to break the bad boyfriend cycle, you can do like a cleansing ritual." Phoebe smiled.

"Pheebs, this woman is voluntarily bald." Rachel emphasizes.

"Yeah. So, we can do it tomorrow night, you guys. It's
Valentine's Day. It's perfect." Phoebe laughs.

"Ok, well, what kind of ritual." I ask.

"Phoebe stands up, "Ok. We can, um, we can burn the stuff they gave us."

"Or?" Rachel asked dragging on the r.

"Or...or we can chant and dance around naked, you know, with sticks." Phoebe adds

"Burning's good." We all say.

˖ ࣪✦ : ✧･ﾟ˖ ࣪✦ : *✧･

I WALKED OUT into the hallway to grab the newspaper, I look up to see Chandler kissing a woman. "Oh, Chandler, sorry." The woman turns around and it's Janice, "Ohhh, Chandler, sorry! Hey, Janice."